Summer blockbusters all trace their origins back to one movie; JAWS. Not only did JAWS make a shit ton of money, but it made more money than anyone ever thought possible. That part you know, but do you know the part about all the knock off movies that came out after JAWS?
Thanks to Rob Hill and his BAD MOVIE BIBLE YouTube channel, you can learn all about awful, but still entertaining movies that took all the best parts and made a bad movie.
I’m back with another of Rob Hill‘s “The Story Behind” series, but in this case, it’s “The Unbelievable Story Behind The Empiricist.” I wish I could add something to make this video better, but it speaks for itself.
Awhile back, I wrote about Rob Hill, his Bad Movie Bible and the videos he puts out on YouTube. I know there is a large number of us out, the people who just love watching terrible cinema bad “B” movies, awful horror flicks. But there is a small breed out there that who goes forth to document and terrible these films, and Hill does it with an encyclopedia level of knowledge, and an amazing dry wit.
All his videos are great, but his “The Story Behind…” series are especially good. Below is Rob Hill’s behind the story of Ninja III: The Domination.
(Casey Jones you better watch your speed!)
Oh, shit! The actors joined the strike! Yup, SAG-AFTRA is on the picket line with the WGA, and now no one gets pretty new movies and shows this Fall! I hope you’re happy Studios! Both sides will make their case over the next few weeks, seeing who can build up the bigger public support, and then the real negotiations will begin. The truth of the matter is that the delivery of entertainment has changed. The traditional way for studios to earn income (movie theatres, cable, and ad tv) has declined and streaming hasn’t closed the gap, though that’s how everyone wants to get their entertainment. But I will also point out there are only five media corporations in the US, and it’s been that way for a very long time, so if they aren’t making money, that’s on them. It’s not like there is a ton competition out in the market. Media is an oligopoly so they are in control for how it all works. The studios could solve this tomorrow; stop paying your C-Suite hundreds of millions of dollars. Sorry, but CEO’s can only have two mansions, one Learjet, and one yacht from here on out. We all will have to make sacrifices to survive.
And when was the last time you thought about American Folklore? Like, Casey Jones, Paul Bunyan, and John Henry. They don’t teach that stuff in school anymore. I asked my daughter about it, and she has no idea what I was talking about. I can’t prove this, but I have this weird feeling that schools were teaching American Folklore as a form of propaganda, to get us kids to believe that there was a mythology to American development and enguiniety, instead of teaching us that our past was a whole lot more about exploitation and exclusion. I can’t prove it, but these people who pushed the Folklore might have been the same people that killed teaching us kids the metric system.
Ice cream really is the best. Doesn’t matter the season, ice cream is perfect.
(You better believe there will be SPOLIERS!)
Let me just start with this; I consider Raiders of the Lost Ark to be the greatest action movie, and I dare say that it is also one of the best movies ever. I could go on and on about how Raiders changed the notion of what an action movie could be, how it’s Harrison Ford’s best performance, and the music is iconic!
I have done my best not to be a “fanboy” when it comes to all things Indiana Jones, and just let be what it is. I came to terms years ago that nothing will ever match that feeling I had watching Raiders for the first time – the excitement, awe, gasps, and that strange feeling of not knowing where the story was going to go next. I will never get “that” feeling back, and that’s okay. I can still have fun with the other movies in the series.
But I still went into Dial of Destiny with a well of anxious feelings in the pit of my stomach. Not for me, but for Harrison Ford – he said this was the last Indy film, and I just wanted it to have the conclusion that both he and the character deserve. And I wanted the de-aging CGI to not look all fake.
And for what Dial of Destiny was, I enjoyed. It was not an Indiana Jones movie in the model of Raiders, Temple, or Crusade. No, what Destiny reminded me of was the “Indiana Jones: Find Your Fate” book series from Ballentine Books which came out in the late 1980’s. Yes, they were a knock off of the “Choose Your Own Adventure” book series, but for this kid, they were an easy continuation of Indy adventures, which kept the morality simple, with this version of Indy always being the good guy looking to keep treasures out of the wrong hands, and hopefully, back into a museum. The stories took place all over the world, Indy always had a “friend” in whatever location who could help out, and there was a very simplified history lesson thrown in for good measure. At least, that’s what I remember, and that’s what Destiny felt like.
Except in Destiny, after kicking some Nazi ass in the intro sequence, Indy is about to get divorced, retiring from teaching at Hunter College in Manhattan, and acts like a man who has given up. You gotta start low if you need your hero to surmount something. This set up was veering into the world of tropes, as I think this is how Die Hard with a Vengeance starts. After this shaky beginning with older Indy, some life gets injected into the movie when Phoebe Waller-Bridge shows up. She can handle the action and has a gift for delivering the quippy lines.
And thus, we have our set up, which brings me to why Destiny felt like the “Find Your Fate” books, and that’s not a complaint. The action is split between Indy and this new character, Waller-Bridge, which in the books would have been you, the reader. We jet and sail around the Mediterranean, meet Indy’s friends who always die, and we get a nice history lesson about the Siege of Syracuse and Archimedes. It felt familiar without being fan service.
What this movie got right was not treating Indy’s age as a joke, or a running gag, or just ignoring it like I think lesser talented writers would do. Destiny had a theme that it stuck to, which was the fear that life has passed you by, the best days are behind you, and there is no where left to go. I know some people will think killing Mutt off was a bit of fan service, but I disagree. That’s a death that would deeply wound, and break a parent, and Indy’s inability to open up about that loss was played very well by Ford. This Indy has serious regrets, and those regrets create an understandable motivation. When Indy and Marion reconcile at the end (and Karen Allen was disgracefully underused in this movie) we can see that these are two people who are hurt and need each other, but have to grow together in dealing with their grief. It is a much more serious ending than I was expecting, but for the totality of the series, Indy needed to not end as a tragic hero that always misses out on getting the treasure; he needed to get the girl and understand his place in the world.
So, where does Destiny place in the cannon? Here’s my list:
5. Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull
