Category: Parenting

  • It’s Halloween, Ya’ll!

    We are already to go for Halloween tonight! The kid wanted to go as Hermione Granger. But not just basic school girl uniformed Hermione. No, my kid wanted to specifically be Hermione from the end of the movie version of Prisoner of Azkaban, with the pink hoodie, jeans and Time Turner. It’s not so much a costume as it is more like cosplay. Not that it matters, it’s what she wanted to do, and I was more than happy to help her achieve it.

    So far, this is the kid’s Halloween Costume History:

    1. Baby Dalek from Doctor Who
    2. Butterfly
    3. Witch from Room on the Broom
    4. Dee Snider from Twisted Sister
    5. Wonder Woman
    6. Hilda from the Hilda book series
    7. Hermione Granger from Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban movie

    Except for the first two costumes on the list, all the others have been her idea.

    When I thought about the kid’s costumes last night, and made this little list, I had the hardest time remembering what I dressed up as on Halloween. I know I did Indiana Jones, and a California Raisin, but I can’t remember any of the others. Yet, I have memories of Trick or Treating. I remember the neighborhood I grew up in, and going with a big group of friends. My mom taking us out, while dad stayed at home handing out candy. The one family on the block that turned their home into a haunted house that you could walk through. The junior high boys pulling pranks and trying to scare the little kids. I remember so much, just not what I had on.

    I don’t know if I have blocked something out, or if I’m getting older and this is just how memory works.

    This year, just like last year, my goal is to give the kid a feeling of normalcy, and just being a kid. We’ll go out, and hit up the brownstones in the neighborhood. We’ll be goofy and compliment kids on their costumes, and eat too much candy.

    (Hit the LIKE button! For the love of God, like this blog! Comment on it! Share it! Become a follower! Klaatu barada nikto!)

  • Yup, That’s a Career – Mini Golf Course Designer

    In case you missed it, I am a stay at home parent currently. Will I return to the traditional work force? Not sure yet, but it is a thought that I keep kicking around my head, as a second income would be beneficial to our family. My old career was in arts/theatre administration, but being that I am middle aged-ish, or at least I am knocking on that door, the idea of switching careers often comes when the wife and I talk about careers.

    Recently, my daughter started introducing, or insisting, depending on the evening, that we watch these mini golf videos on YouTube. They feature two people, Brooks Holt and Elisha, who go around the country playing different mini golf courses. Some of the places they go are rather basic, while others are fascinating in their ingenuity. A few courses, which are indoors, play like a Rube Goldberg machine. The videos are fun, my daughter loves them, and it has inspired us as a family to go out and play mini golf, which has been great.

    As Brooks and Elisha go around playing golf, I started wondering; do the owners of these mini golf courses design these places themselves, or are their firms out there that do this stuff?

    You guessed it, of course there are firms. Good for them, if I might add. And I wondered how one gets in that business? I am sure some are family businesses, but do these companies go out and recruit people from adjacent fields? Like, landscape designers, or set and prop builders from theatre and film? What skills do you need to have to be successful in that line of work? (I bet there is a story there.) Looking at some of their websites, a few of the companies have been around for forty plus years, so they must be good at what they do. If there is a need, you know there will be a business to provide that service.

    Not that I’m about to start a career designing mini golf courses, but I do respect the people who do it.

    (Speaking of careers; could you help me with mine? Well, it’s more like a hobby that I hope helps me buy a new laptop. Either way, if you enjoyed this blog, please take a moment to give a like, or share the post, and a comment wouldn’t hurt. I mean, following this blog would be the cat’s pajamas, but use your discretion as to what you see as appropriate.)

  • Busy Day Ahead

    I am in a hurry today. I was up at the normal time and turned the coffee maker on. I got the wife up and then the kid. Made the kid breakfast, packed her lunch. The wife got clothes out for the kid and helped her get dressed. Me and the kid brushed teeth together, put on shoes and we headed out for the school drop off with the permission slip for the upcoming field trip. I got her to school on time; said hello to her teacher and some of the other parents. Said my goodbyes and returned home. Then I made a meal plan for the week, and made a grocery shopping list. Then I balanced our check book, moved some money around, updated all of our bills to make sure everything was getting paid on time. I still need to shower and head out to Trader Joe’s before the old people and the young professionals pick over the store. Then I need to put the groceries away, make lunch for me and the wife, and then head back to school for the pickup. Hopefully the kid will want to go to the local park and play with her friends which will give me an hour or two hours to read, and write in my journal. Then home, play with the kid, make dinner, watch tv together, and then make the kid take a shower. Then that leaves snuggle and story time, with the kid hopefully going right off to sleep. Which will allow me to clean up the kitchen, and get the coffee ready for the morning. Then the wife and I will get an hour to catch up and fall asleep watching something on tv. And that’s pretty much my day.

    But before I head out to the store, I need to give myself a few minutes to write this blog thing.

    And all in all, most days, I’m pretty happy with this. Some days I do wonder if I am missing out, or I wonder if I could be doing more in the world. And then there are days where I am really terrible at this stay at home dad thing.

    This is where I am and I am happy. I know this because I don’t dread waking up in the morning.

    Okay, off to the store. Maybe there will be a Tottenham blog later in the day. We’ll see.

    (AND, please be kind and rewind and also take a moment to give a like, share, comment, or the greatest gesture of all, follow this blog. Please, it would mean a lot to me because I don’t want to start making TikTok videos.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Apple Picking, I Like Teams that Frustrate Me, and Halloween Costumes

    (By Mennen!)

    It’s Fall, which means apple picking. This is the one stupid Autumn tradition we have that I cannot quit. It’s… it’s just dumb. We go to a farm and pay the farmer to go out and harvest his crop for him. It feels like such a con, but damn do I love doing it. And we do take it too seriously. We’ll get up at the crack of dawn and drive way out to a farm in upstate New York, so we can be the first people there. And we’re gun’na buy a pumpkin too, maybe pickles as well, because I think we did that last time. The dog will be with us, and we’ll wander around the orchard, picking, then sampling apples, and if they don’t meet our standards, we’ll toss the half-eaten fruit on the ground, like some inconsiderate Patrician. Then for a week afterward, we’ll find a way to work apples into every meal. But the wife will make a really great apple pie, so that does make it worth it. It is a little bit of a cliché thing to do, but aren’t stupid traditions the ones we love the most?

    Oh, I sure know how to pick sports teams that end up confounding and frustrating me. I will say this, Tottenham accomplished the bare minimum in their Champions League Group match against Frankfurt – They didn’t lose. At the half way point in the group stage matches, Spurs are in second place with four points, so they are not out of the woods, and could still blow this. And that is the thing with this team – they still don’t seem to have found their groove. The Kane/Son duo still hasn’t shown up this season, and I think without that threat up front, it gives opponents the confidence to try added pressure against Tottenham’s back line, especially in the final ten minutes. And this Saturday will be another test against upstart Brighton, who is in fourth place behind Tottenham in the Premiere League. With only a month left to go before the World Cup break in November, Conte has to get this club into some cohesive championship form. The goal this season wasn’t to just be good, it was to win trophies.

    And, I spent two hours this morning searching and ordering a Hermione Granger costume for my daughter. Not that tie and robes boarding school stuff, no sir! She wants a very specific version of Hermione from a certain scene from a movie. I didn’t mean to, but I think I am teaching my daughter how to Cosplay.

    (Don’t forget! If you are enjoying this blog, please be kind and give a like, share, comment, or even start following! It would help my case to the wife why I need to stay in my pajamas on the sofa all morning writing this stuff.)

  • Parenting: Dealing with Disappointment

    I had mentioned back on Friday that my daughter didn’t get into the free After-School program at her school. We broke the news to her over the weekend to allow her time to process the development, and talk it out. On the whole, she said that she was okay with it. What she wanted was to spend more time with her friends at the playground and with me.

    That sounded sweet, but I had my suspicions.

    Sadly, I was correct on Monday. Drop off in morning at school was fine. I reminded her that I would be back when school let out, and that we could go to the playground if she wanted. Again, she said that was what she wanted to do. When I came back to pick her up, I could see in her eyes that it was beginning to dawn on her that virtually all of her friends, save two, got into the After-School program. We did go to the playground, and she played with her two good friends, but I knew, I mean I could feel it, that she was having the feelings of being left out and rejected. After about forty-five minutes of half-assed, her heart wasn’t into it, playing, she asked me if we could go home.

    At home, we all talked about what she was feeling, and how it hurts. We also talked about things we could do tomorrow to make after school more fun than today. When it was bedtime, she had bounced back, and was that silly goofy kid.

    When it was pick up time yesterday, she had that same gloomy face, and looking longingly at all her friends that are taking part in the After-School. When went to the playground again, but this time, her two friends weren’t there. Though there were a few kids from her class running around, she refused to play with them, because she only wanted to play with “her” friends.

    It was just breaking my heart to see her hurt in this way. I know that she originally didn’t want to do the After-School, and she really didn’t like it last year. I know it took a long time for me and the wife to convince her that we should apply for the program. I know all of this.

    And I don’t know how to fix this, and I also don’t know if I should. Disappointment is a part of life, and something that everyone has to learn to deal with. But I can’t shake the feeling that my job as her dad is to not let her suffer needlessly. Even if this is a small hiccup on the path of her life, right now to her, this is the biggest set back she’s faced. Asking her to put this in perspective is a futile act because she is too young to have a perspective. (And also, I hated when parents and teachers would tell me that what I was feeling wasn’t that big of a deal. It was a big deal to me, and that’s all that mattered.) In her life, and I know she has been very lucky so far, this is the most complicated emotional issue she has had; She wanted something, didn’t get it, and has to be reminded daily that she’s not included. She’s feeling disappointment, a little embarrassment, shame, loss, sadness, and the dreaded fear of missing out.

    I feel powerless to help her. I know we need to keep talking about her feelings, but my gut instinct is to take action – do something to better the situation. Other after school activities cost money, which we are in short supply of, so I think I’m going to have to be a little creative. Maybe we come up with a library day once a week, or visit museums? Maybe we go and volunteer at local arts organizations? Maybe we do art projects at home? Maybe I put her to work painting the apartment?

    I think the lesson I need to teach her, and reinforce in myself, is that getting disappointed is something that is inevitable and sometimes out of our control. How we deal with that disappointment is what we can control. Taking those feelings of disappointment and channeling them into something positive might be the best way to handle this situation.

    I hate seeing the kid upset, though. That one stings.

    (Say, I have a favor to ask of you. If you enjoyed this blog post, please share the love and give it a like, or a comment, or a share, or whatever combination works best for you. You’d be doing a body good.)