Category: Parenting

  • Rain Sounds and Rumbling Thunder

    The kid has been having issues with falling asleep lately. Polling the other parents at her school, this seems like a very common phenomenon that is occurring in many households at bedtime; kids just don’t want to go to sleep. For my daughter, her unwillingness to go to bed falls in two categories; scary dreams, and FOMO.

    When it comes to scary dreams, the wife and I have been working with the kid by reading stories and books where the hero character over comes a fear or anxiety. We also talk to her about focusing on the best parts of her day, or what she would like to do the next day. This generally works. The FOMO, on the other hand, has everything to do with mom and dad watching cool tv shows after she’s in bed. She’s already an eager fan of prestige television.

    The other night, the wife came up with an idea to help the kid fall asleep, which was to play an eight-hour track of rain sounds and rumbling thunder. The results of this addition to our nighttime routine has been wonderful, as the kid easily and quickly falls asleep. No scary dreams, no fear of missing out on what happens next to Ted Lasso. Just a calm and peaceful sleeping child and the gentle rolling of rain and thunder.

    There is another side effect of this sound addition to our home; I have discovered that I remember all the lyrics to “Riders on the Storm.” (If you know the song, you know what I am talking about.) And I can’t help myself. The second the rain sound starts in the kid’s room, I begin hearing Jerry Scheff’s bass, Ray Manzarek’s Rhodes piano, and John Densmore’s drums. Then my inner Jim Morrison comes out, and the lyrics just roll along with the thunder. It might not be the best song to sing to your kid before she goes to bed, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

  • Staten Island Ferry

    I need to admit to myself, that as long as the kid is young enough to need me to get around the City, that every Spring Break will be a week of me entertaining the kid. There is a voice in my head that keeps saying that it’s not my job to keep the kid entertained, and that is true. But “entertaining the kid” for me means that I am keeping her off a screen for a couple of hours.

    To that end, we rode the Staten Island Ferry yesterday. It’s free, runs every thirty minutes, and gives you an amazing view of the Statue of Liberty, and Ellis Island. That also means the ferry is loaded with tourists. But if you know what you’re getting into, it can be a lot of fun.

    The kid had never been on the ferry, and she also hadn’t been to Staten Island before. I mean, she is a natural born New Yorker, and if you’re going to be a New Yorker, you have to have visited all five boroughs.

    I love riding the ferry. It used to be one of the “go to” attractions I would take people to when they came to visit, but I hadn’t been on the thing in close to eight years. It’s fun to cross the upper harbor and see the City from the water. I like trying to imagine what it was like to live there, 500 years ago, before the Dutch arrived. But then to also think what it must have looked like when the British Navy blockaded the harbor and invaded Brooklyn. The history buff side of me goes into over drive thinking about how many events and persons have passed through that harbor. You know, once it got so cold that the harbor froze, and you could walk across the ice from Manhattan to Staten Island.

    Watching the kid experience the ferry was a parental treat that I enjoyed deeply. Seeing her enjoy the cold air whipping her hair around, and asking me questions about ships, and New York, and the old forts that ring the harbor. It was fun to have these moments of entertaining her for the afternoon.

  • SPRING BREAK!

    The kid is on Spring Break! Not only am I the primary caregiver in our home, I am also the primary entertainer! I need to keep our daughter occupied for the next week, so the peace can be kept. See, the wife works from home, and I do as well for that matter, but I need to strike a balance between all parties, so the wife can work, and I can get my stuff done, and the kid doesn’t stare at a screen for the next ten days.

    In some far-off magical future, I’ll have a vacation home upstate that we will go to. Way off in the woods, a creek would run through the property. We would hike, and camp, and do outdoorsy things. At night we’ll build a fire in the back yard, roast marshmallows. You name it, right?

    One day…

    For now, I am forcing her to do chores with me like grocery shopping and doing the laundry. All the stuff grade school kids love to do. Maybe I’ll make her clean her room! Vacation time is chore time.

    No, I won’t be that dad. I’ll take her to a museum, probably the Whitney. We’ll head out and do some book shopping at the Strand. I’ll take her out to lunch. Last year we went disc golfing, and I think we’ll try that again.

    The one thing that I did do on this first day of Spring Break, was make her take a walk with me in the local park. Just us, walking and talking. Well… she talked and I just listened. She told me about school and her friends, and her American Doll that she got for her birthday. The kid still likes me enough to talk to me, and not that I think she ever stop talking to me, I just know teenage years can be trying, and there might be a hiatus of her sharing her life with me.

    So, I’m going to enjoy the time I’m getting with her.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Taking Water, Princeton, and Distraction

    (Smokin’ and Drinkin’ on a Tuesday night…)

    The wife and I have been taking tours of other schools around NYC. The kid is in a good school, but we just wanted to see what else is out there – weighing options. On all of these tours, they offer the parents free water, which is normal. But having done a couple of these now, I noticed that there are two different types of people when it comes to free water; either you take the water because you are thirsty, or you take the water only because it’s free.

    Princeton is the only team left in the Men’s NCAA Basketball tournament that is a double digit ranked team. And as such, I have to keep rooting for them. And I am supporting FAU as they are #9. Also, I am really going out of my way to hope and pray that Alabama and Houston lose tonight. Even though I have a funny feeling Alabama could take the whole thing.

    I get distracted very easily. For the past half hour, I went down a rabbit hole of looking at information on the death of Horatio Nelson. Why? No real reason. I know that he was shot and killed at the Battle of Trafalgar, but I didn’t know much more that that. After he died, his body was placed in a cask of brandy mixed with camphor and myrrh. I am assuming that this was a normal way to preserve a body for a long voyage back home, but did that mean that the Royal Navy had casks of brandy on ships for this reason? Or was it that a cask of brandy was the only thing around that could be used? I couldn’t find any information to answer that question. See… I got distracted.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Old Debates, It’s Okay to Not Have Kids, and Dog Shit

    (Fries are done…)

    I have been blessed, or cursed, depending on how you look at it, with the ability to stay up very late at night, and still wake up early. Though I may need a nap in the middle of the day, it’s given me one true positive advantage; I get to watch lots of useless things. Lately, I have started watching old episodes of Siskle & Ebert. The original purpose of watching was to remind myself of good movies that I had forgotten about. But as I watched these shows, I noticed something about how Gene and Roger argued. My memory was that there were passionate about their opinions and were willing to really get in there and fight for what they believed, even to the point of personally insulting the other. Yet, when I rewatched, I was struck by how they were very respectful in their arguing. And often, they looked amused when they argued. It wasn’t at all the cat and dog fights that I remembered. In one sense, I could just chalk this up to a faulty memory and a little Mandela effect. Or, maybe, televised arguing has become more brutal and bare knuckled over the past thirty years. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe people were nicer and more respectful in the past.

    Yesterday, I read about Seth Rogen and his thoughts on being married and not having kids. (Good for BuzzFeed, still staying relevant. That’s where I read it.) He made is case of what is right for him and his wife, and he did a good job of articulating his thoughts on the issue. I got a lot of married friends that don’t have kids, and I have a lot of unmarried friends that have kids. And I know some people who have kids and wish they didn’t. Look, I’m married and have a kid and I love it. I also love having one kid, and want it to stay that way. That’s what’s right for the wife and I, and we’re very happy. And no one questions our decision. Our decision gets respected, and it ceases to be an issue. I just think that courtesy should be extended to everyone, regardless of what their reason is for having or not having kids.

    But if you’re not willing to pick up your dog’s shit, then you shouldn’t have a dog. Seriously, turds are part of the deal. So, stop being a tourist and take some responsibility.