Category: Parenting

  • ODDS and ENDS: Not Bad, Bad Words, and Words

    (Corinthian Leather wasn’t a real thing…)

    I stand corrected, and Tottenham Hotspur proved me wrong yesterday. And as promised, I’m writing about the team again. They went down two goals to Man United by halftime, and it looked like it was over. All that was left was forty-five minutes of agony. But the second half can also be a different game, match and attitude. Spurs came out and played like they wanted it. Both teams had plenty of opportunities to put the game away, but what we got was a 2-2 draw. I’ll take it. This has made the race for fourth place more interesting, and shows that there is still a good team in that Spurs squad. Ultimately, I believe they will fall short of this goal, but my hope lives on the dream that there is a manager somewhere in the world watching this team knowing what they would do to make this team win.

    My daughter, who is eight, knows most of the curse words in the English language. We do live in New York City, and the populace here is legendary for their use of swears in odd but expressive combinations. So, it’s difficult to shield her from these words. And she also goes to school which is an incubator of curse usage. But my daughter does her best to refrain from using theses words at home, though her parents fail often at trying to do the same thing. What my kid does at home to swear but not swear is use similar sound words as replacements. While playing games on the family Switch. We are peppered with her use of “frick” and “dang” and “shoot.” Sometimes she will glance at me to see if I am reacting to her use of these words, like she’s testing the waters. For I know that she wants to dive deep into the pool of four letter bad words, but doesn’t want to get grounded.

    I should be reading more. Just saying…

  • Banning Books Never Works

    Was there ever a time in history when the group that was banning books ended up being the good guys? It’s like calling your country an “empire” because you might as well just say that “we have come to kill you and take your land.” There is no “good” empire, just like there isn’t a “good” book banning.

    I say all of this because on Sunday, CBS’ SUNDAY MORNING show did a story on the movement to ban books in schools and public libraries. In the story, they include the group, Moms for Liberty, who are spearheading the book banning. (I would tell them that their group name is rather Orwellian, but I fear they haven’t read any books by Orwell.) The mom’s claim that they are out to protect children from pornography, and LGBTQ+ influence by giving parents more authority over schools and libraries.

    These women are idiots, and should be reminded of it often and always. Clearly they have never read any history because banning books never works. It never has and never will. In fact, when someone tries to ban a book, the sales of said banned book explode. Just check the numbers. Also, when you start trying to ban books, you join the likes of other book banners like Nazis, Brown Shirts, Segregationists, Francoists, and the Spanish Inquisition (which no one suspects…) It’s a Murderer’s Row of suppression and, ultimately, failure. And yet these groups, Moms and Moral Majorities, keep thinking that they are different from the past, when they are only repeating it.

    So, yet again, books need to be protected, as well as our public libraries. Here is PEN AMERICA’s Books Ban page, with their report book banning in the USA. Also, here is Brooklyn Public Library’s Books Unbanned initiative, as well as American Library Association’s Banned and Challenged Books program.

  • Rain Sounds and Rumbling Thunder

    The kid has been having issues with falling asleep lately. Polling the other parents at her school, this seems like a very common phenomenon that is occurring in many households at bedtime; kids just don’t want to go to sleep. For my daughter, her unwillingness to go to bed falls in two categories; scary dreams, and FOMO.

    When it comes to scary dreams, the wife and I have been working with the kid by reading stories and books where the hero character over comes a fear or anxiety. We also talk to her about focusing on the best parts of her day, or what she would like to do the next day. This generally works. The FOMO, on the other hand, has everything to do with mom and dad watching cool tv shows after she’s in bed. She’s already an eager fan of prestige television.

    The other night, the wife came up with an idea to help the kid fall asleep, which was to play an eight-hour track of rain sounds and rumbling thunder. The results of this addition to our nighttime routine has been wonderful, as the kid easily and quickly falls asleep. No scary dreams, no fear of missing out on what happens next to Ted Lasso. Just a calm and peaceful sleeping child and the gentle rolling of rain and thunder.

    There is another side effect of this sound addition to our home; I have discovered that I remember all the lyrics to “Riders on the Storm.” (If you know the song, you know what I am talking about.) And I can’t help myself. The second the rain sound starts in the kid’s room, I begin hearing Jerry Scheff’s bass, Ray Manzarek’s Rhodes piano, and John Densmore’s drums. Then my inner Jim Morrison comes out, and the lyrics just roll along with the thunder. It might not be the best song to sing to your kid before she goes to bed, but she doesn’t seem to mind.

  • Staten Island Ferry

    I need to admit to myself, that as long as the kid is young enough to need me to get around the City, that every Spring Break will be a week of me entertaining the kid. There is a voice in my head that keeps saying that it’s not my job to keep the kid entertained, and that is true. But “entertaining the kid” for me means that I am keeping her off a screen for a couple of hours.

    To that end, we rode the Staten Island Ferry yesterday. It’s free, runs every thirty minutes, and gives you an amazing view of the Statue of Liberty, and Ellis Island. That also means the ferry is loaded with tourists. But if you know what you’re getting into, it can be a lot of fun.

    The kid had never been on the ferry, and she also hadn’t been to Staten Island before. I mean, she is a natural born New Yorker, and if you’re going to be a New Yorker, you have to have visited all five boroughs.

    I love riding the ferry. It used to be one of the “go to” attractions I would take people to when they came to visit, but I hadn’t been on the thing in close to eight years. It’s fun to cross the upper harbor and see the City from the water. I like trying to imagine what it was like to live there, 500 years ago, before the Dutch arrived. But then to also think what it must have looked like when the British Navy blockaded the harbor and invaded Brooklyn. The history buff side of me goes into over drive thinking about how many events and persons have passed through that harbor. You know, once it got so cold that the harbor froze, and you could walk across the ice from Manhattan to Staten Island.

    Watching the kid experience the ferry was a parental treat that I enjoyed deeply. Seeing her enjoy the cold air whipping her hair around, and asking me questions about ships, and New York, and the old forts that ring the harbor. It was fun to have these moments of entertaining her for the afternoon.

  • SPRING BREAK!

    The kid is on Spring Break! Not only am I the primary caregiver in our home, I am also the primary entertainer! I need to keep our daughter occupied for the next week, so the peace can be kept. See, the wife works from home, and I do as well for that matter, but I need to strike a balance between all parties, so the wife can work, and I can get my stuff done, and the kid doesn’t stare at a screen for the next ten days.

    In some far-off magical future, I’ll have a vacation home upstate that we will go to. Way off in the woods, a creek would run through the property. We would hike, and camp, and do outdoorsy things. At night we’ll build a fire in the back yard, roast marshmallows. You name it, right?

    One day…

    For now, I am forcing her to do chores with me like grocery shopping and doing the laundry. All the stuff grade school kids love to do. Maybe I’ll make her clean her room! Vacation time is chore time.

    No, I won’t be that dad. I’ll take her to a museum, probably the Whitney. We’ll head out and do some book shopping at the Strand. I’ll take her out to lunch. Last year we went disc golfing, and I think we’ll try that again.

    The one thing that I did do on this first day of Spring Break, was make her take a walk with me in the local park. Just us, walking and talking. Well… she talked and I just listened. She told me about school and her friends, and her American Doll that she got for her birthday. The kid still likes me enough to talk to me, and not that I think she ever stop talking to me, I just know teenage years can be trying, and there might be a hiatus of her sharing her life with me.

    So, I’m going to enjoy the time I’m getting with her.