Category: Parenting

  • It’s Beginning to Feel A Lot Like Thanksgiving

    Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love the whole thing. From big family gatherings, to small family gatherings, to couples Thanksgiving, to friends-Thanksgiving, and any other combination you can throw together. Thanksgiving, with roots that go back to the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag, revived by Lincoln during the Civil War, and in our modern-day form of “That Day We Eat Before We Get Up Early to Shop,” this is a holiday that will continuously evolves to fit our needs.

    For me, it is the food holiday with a huge helping of all-day relaxing. In my little family, we buy new pajamas and spend all of Thanksgiving in them. We eat homemade cinnamon rolls, watch the parade, cook, snack, drink, and eat when the food is ready. There is no set time, we eat when we eat. Some years it’s early, sometimes late, but whatever the year, it is always relaxed and is what it is.

    This year, we have already bought our pajamas. The menu is planned, and we just have yet to do the final shopping. The decorations are out, and in place. The kid has a real job this year; she is putting together the charcutier board, and she is very excited. And, I am more excited about watching the Lions than the Cowboys. So, how’s that for a change.

    But, as I get older, it becomes more apparent that the Thanksgiving holiday is a limited resource in my life. I never doubt that each year I will have something, if not a great many things, to be thankful for. It’s just that I know that it will, eventually, change. Now, change isn’t always bad. Every year we have the chance to add to our family and friends, and welcome new people to our table. I try to be thankful, each year, that I have the people that I have in my life.

  • Learning How to Lose

    My kid had to deal with her first big loss yesterday; she failed a test at school. Not only that, but it was a test that she thought she had aced, so it was a double shock.

    She didn’t take it well.

    No, she was pretty upset, and there were many factors as to why she was so mad. Embarrassment, feelings of inferiority, fear that she would fail her class, fear that she would fail the whole year, fear the would have to repeat the grade, and just a general disappointment in herself. All hard things for a kid to deal with, but they are things that a kid has to learn to deal with. My approach was to let her be upset and get all of that pent-up anger out of her system.

    My grandfather used to say that when you get mad, you should give yourself a day to wallow in it, but then you have to start making changes in the morning. It’s generally worked for me. Some losses are harder than others. Instead of a day, in some situations I needed days, weeks, even a month. Anger can tell you many things – and when I listen to why I’m angry, it tells me what changes I need to make.

    That might be too much for the kid to dwell on for right now.

    I thought it best to help her try to forgive herself, relax enough to get some sleep, and then discover that tomorrow did arrive in the morning, and it all wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. As long as you have a tomorrow, you always have a chance to make it better.

  • When Halloween Was Fun, Then It Wasn’t, Then Was Again

    The other night, my daughter was asking me a bunch of questions about what Halloween was like when I was a kid. I mean, it was only thirty-eight years ago, not like it was a million years, but it was a million years ago. When it comes to this holiday, not much has really changed; you dress up, you get a bag, knock on doors, say the magic phrase, and you get candy. There are teenagers that are too old to be Trick or Treating, in both epochs, and grownups openly sneak their drinks on the street as they escort their kids around the neighborhood. Nothings changed.

    Then she followed up with asking me what I did when I stopped Trick or Treating? Like, when I was in junior high and high school. And I had a hard time remembering. I remember the last Halloween I went out, and I had this feeling that I was too old to be doing this. I think I was twelve. After that, it gets a little fuzzy. I think in junior high, I handed out candy at home, or watched horror movies at friend’s houses, which entailed handing out candy. As for high school, I was in theatre, so I went to some costume parties, but I remember them being really lame. One year, whoever hosted it, put “When Harry Met Sally” on the VCR, and they wanted everyone to watch it. So, there was like a six-year period where it wasn’t fun.

    Then I went to college, and it started to be fun again. Still was in a theatre department, but the costuming game was totally upped, and rather awesome. Having costume designers as friends lead to some really amazing outfits. But also, the parties got way better. Maybe alcohol and pot had something to do with that… not sure, might be up for debate. My point here, at least the one I want to make, is that I had to do a very delicate dance with my daughter as to why college parties were so much better, and I made the costumes the reason why it was better.

    Then I had a kid, and things got fun and sweet again. It’s fun when late September rolls around and the kid starts trying out ideas on us. “What if I went as…” or “Could I go as…” We let her decide what she wants to dress up as, and we help out as needed. Sometimes we are included in her costume, but not always. (I have been wanting to go as The Intergalactic Beastie Boys, but she still isn’t game.) Limited time on this, and trying to take sit as it comes. Maybe we have two or three left before she starts to feel too old. It will happen, it always happens, but that isn’t a bad thing.

    She’ll get older and we’ll all head out to the Village Halloween Parade.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Candy, Tottenham Stuff, and Merch Store

    (So sue me if I go too fast…)

    The dirty secret of Halloween is that parents eat their kids candy when they aren’t looking. Any parent who denies this happens is a liar. We all do it. When we parents get together while taking the kids out Trick or Treating, it’s what we talk about; “What candy did they get? How much did they get? It’s just not healthy to let kids eat that much candy. We’re doing them a service.” The wife and I do buy a mixed bag of candy that we hide in the apartment and snack off of… but eventually, late one night, possibly after a few drinks, we reach into the kid’s bucket and see that she has three Skittles pouches, so she won’t miss one. And it’s awful when we do it, and we feel so guilty, but forbidden candy goes so well with watching Great British Baking Show.

    Seems like Tottenham is the only team I have left to support for the foreseeable future. Cowboys have crapped out, and I could care less about the World Series. Sure, I guess I could again try my hand at following the Knicks, they look like they should have a good season. No, it’s Tottenham Hotspur or bust! They are playing really well in the Europa League, and are sitting at 2nd in that tournament’s table. It just them in the Premier League that is pulling me down. Those three losses are like an albatross, and it also seems like they give up a goal right away at the start of each match… But… it’s still early.

    Oh, the Merch Store is open. Go get all your 1999 Blogging Gear are great low prices. Remember, each item sold goes to a good cause which is helping me buy a new MacBook Air, or sending my kid to college. All depends on how much we raise.

  • This is What My Kid Thinks Everyone Was Like in the 90’s

    (She’s not too far off…)

    I think everyone was like this in the 60’s