Category: Parenting

  • I Like Coats, Scarves, and Gloves

    It’s cold in New York City, and I love it.

    For years now, winter around here hasn’t felt like winter. More like a “Perpetual End of Autumn” that carried on till the start of April. At least one Nor’easter would blow through every year, and dump four to six inches of snow on us, but within a week it would all be gone, and the reign of light coats would return. This was such a reliable pattern that the wife and I started to wonder if the winters of our first years in the City were a thing of memory.

    But starting Christmas week, the winters of the past returned; Snow fell and stayed on the ground, the temperature hung around freezing, and a feeling needing to be wrapped up on the couch was ever present.

    Perhaps I am a bit romantical when it comes to winter. I did grow up in Texas, where it rarely got below forty degrees in the deepest part of winter, and just the hint of snow was enough to close down the schools and services. I think it is true that most people are drawn to the thing they are most denied, and for me that was cold weather.

    For you see, my whole family was born and raised in Illinois. All, except me. I mean, I was born there, but we moved south when I was six months old, so my experience was the opposite of everyone else. My family would talk about snowball fights, building snowmen and snow-forts. There were foreign chores of shoveling out driveways and sidewalks. Keeping blankets, kitty litter, and chocolate bars in the car just in case. I remember seeing a pair of my father’s old snow boots, black rubber, that were up on a self in the garage, where they only thing they did was gather dust and become a relic of his other life.

    When I moved to New York back in 2006, it briefly snowed on my first Thanksgiving here, and it was close to the most magical thing that ever happened to me. That first snowstorm the following January was a moment of excitement, but also hammered home how unprepared I was for winter. I only had a Texas winter coat, which wasn’t a winter coat. No snow boots, but I did have a huge scarf that a good friend had given to me before I moved. I soon got a peacoat from an Army/Navy store on 16th and 6th, and still own it to this day. I have gone through several different pairs of snow shoes, and I am proud to tell you that I also still have that original scarf I was given – As it is rather long and thick, I pull it out to wrap my face on exceptionally cold days.

    The last time I talked to my dad, about a week ago, he was telling me of the coming winter storm headed his way in Texas. He dreaded it, and honestly, I think it annoyed him highly that it will get so very cold. “I moved down here to get away from all of that,” he told me, “I had enough cold to last me several lifetimes.” When he got the opportunity in his life, he ran to where it was hot, and took all of along with him.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Talking to the Dog, Shopping for Quirk, and Wrapping Up

    (Jump back, what’s that sound?)

    I know that I am not the only person who does this, because I have seen other people in my neighborhood do it, especially at night. And that’s talking to your dog on a walk. Now, I’m not talking about telling your dog that they are a good boy, or asking them to hurry up, or to slow down. No, I mean having a conversation with the dog. At home, I talk to the dog all the time. Like, if I have an idea, and I need to talk through it, the dog will be the recipient of my line of thinking. But out for a walk? No, I don’t want to look like the crazy guy on the block. Until, the other day, when I did it. I had several things I needed to take care of the next day, and I thought when the dog was trying to poop, that would be a good time to ask her if my agenda was in good order. She seemed to agree, or at least she had to no where else to go.

    As we are approaching Christmas, the wife and I have started looking for gifts for our family members who have a very excellent sense of humor. Last year, the winner was the fat plush cat with balls, which, for some odd reason, is no longer available on Amazon. For us, the quirk gift needs to revolve around a cat or cats. They do seem to be the funniest. Something with cat butts, or an art piece of cats watching use the bathroom are our winning ideas so far. No matter what we select, we do have to hope that it lands well, hence the good sense of humor being a requirement, but we also have to imagine and wonder what the reaction will be.

    AND as we approach Christmas, that will also mean that I need to wrap up my year on the blog. I only have two weeks left of live or daily created blogs left, and then I will start scheduling the final two weeks of the year. Lot’s of Christmas jokes, but I will again do a “Best Of…” week as well. In the past few years, I have let the “Best Of…” be the posts that received the most views, so you, the readers, have decided. This year I am going to change it up and select what I think were the five best blogs I put out. Maybe this is a good idea, maybe no one cares. Maybe it’s good to change things up from time to time.

  • It’s Beginning to Feel A Lot Like Thanksgiving

    Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. I love the whole thing. From big family gatherings, to small family gatherings, to couples Thanksgiving, to friends-Thanksgiving, and any other combination you can throw together. Thanksgiving, with roots that go back to the Pilgrims and the Wampanoag, revived by Lincoln during the Civil War, and in our modern-day form of “That Day We Eat Before We Get Up Early to Shop,” this is a holiday that will continuously evolves to fit our needs.

    For me, it is the food holiday with a huge helping of all-day relaxing. In my little family, we buy new pajamas and spend all of Thanksgiving in them. We eat homemade cinnamon rolls, watch the parade, cook, snack, drink, and eat when the food is ready. There is no set time, we eat when we eat. Some years it’s early, sometimes late, but whatever the year, it is always relaxed and is what it is.

    This year, we have already bought our pajamas. The menu is planned, and we just have yet to do the final shopping. The decorations are out, and in place. The kid has a real job this year; she is putting together the charcutier board, and she is very excited. And, I am more excited about watching the Lions than the Cowboys. So, how’s that for a change.

    But, as I get older, it becomes more apparent that the Thanksgiving holiday is a limited resource in my life. I never doubt that each year I will have something, if not a great many things, to be thankful for. It’s just that I know that it will, eventually, change. Now, change isn’t always bad. Every year we have the chance to add to our family and friends, and welcome new people to our table. I try to be thankful, each year, that I have the people that I have in my life.

  • Learning How to Lose

    My kid had to deal with her first big loss yesterday; she failed a test at school. Not only that, but it was a test that she thought she had aced, so it was a double shock.

    She didn’t take it well.

    No, she was pretty upset, and there were many factors as to why she was so mad. Embarrassment, feelings of inferiority, fear that she would fail her class, fear that she would fail the whole year, fear the would have to repeat the grade, and just a general disappointment in herself. All hard things for a kid to deal with, but they are things that a kid has to learn to deal with. My approach was to let her be upset and get all of that pent-up anger out of her system.

    My grandfather used to say that when you get mad, you should give yourself a day to wallow in it, but then you have to start making changes in the morning. It’s generally worked for me. Some losses are harder than others. Instead of a day, in some situations I needed days, weeks, even a month. Anger can tell you many things – and when I listen to why I’m angry, it tells me what changes I need to make.

    That might be too much for the kid to dwell on for right now.

    I thought it best to help her try to forgive herself, relax enough to get some sleep, and then discover that tomorrow did arrive in the morning, and it all wasn’t as bad as you thought it was. As long as you have a tomorrow, you always have a chance to make it better.

  • When Halloween Was Fun, Then It Wasn’t, Then Was Again

    The other night, my daughter was asking me a bunch of questions about what Halloween was like when I was a kid. I mean, it was only thirty-eight years ago, not like it was a million years, but it was a million years ago. When it comes to this holiday, not much has really changed; you dress up, you get a bag, knock on doors, say the magic phrase, and you get candy. There are teenagers that are too old to be Trick or Treating, in both epochs, and grownups openly sneak their drinks on the street as they escort their kids around the neighborhood. Nothings changed.

    Then she followed up with asking me what I did when I stopped Trick or Treating? Like, when I was in junior high and high school. And I had a hard time remembering. I remember the last Halloween I went out, and I had this feeling that I was too old to be doing this. I think I was twelve. After that, it gets a little fuzzy. I think in junior high, I handed out candy at home, or watched horror movies at friend’s houses, which entailed handing out candy. As for high school, I was in theatre, so I went to some costume parties, but I remember them being really lame. One year, whoever hosted it, put “When Harry Met Sally” on the VCR, and they wanted everyone to watch it. So, there was like a six-year period where it wasn’t fun.

    Then I went to college, and it started to be fun again. Still was in a theatre department, but the costuming game was totally upped, and rather awesome. Having costume designers as friends lead to some really amazing outfits. But also, the parties got way better. Maybe alcohol and pot had something to do with that… not sure, might be up for debate. My point here, at least the one I want to make, is that I had to do a very delicate dance with my daughter as to why college parties were so much better, and I made the costumes the reason why it was better.

    Then I had a kid, and things got fun and sweet again. It’s fun when late September rolls around and the kid starts trying out ideas on us. “What if I went as…” or “Could I go as…” We let her decide what she wants to dress up as, and we help out as needed. Sometimes we are included in her costume, but not always. (I have been wanting to go as The Intergalactic Beastie Boys, but she still isn’t game.) Limited time on this, and trying to take sit as it comes. Maybe we have two or three left before she starts to feel too old. It will happen, it always happens, but that isn’t a bad thing.

    She’ll get older and we’ll all head out to the Village Halloween Parade.