Category: Parenting

  • Man, Am I Tired

    Not sure what happened. I went to bed at my normal-ish time last night. I did stay up and watch the Oscars, so maybe that had something to do with it.

    I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the Oscars, but it has been over 15 years since I have seen all the best picture nominees, let alone half of them. But I am a movie fan, and I like the spectacle, and it is something fun to debate with friends, and I wanted to see what Conan would do. With all of that said, it was a rather dull affair. My kid wanted to stay up and watch it with me, which I agreed to, but she was out by 9pm.

    When the Oscars were over, and the kid off to bed, I started to watch Becket. I hadn’t seen it since high school, and I didn’t get too far into it. I found Peter O’Toole’s Henry II grating on my nerves, which I understand was the point. Then I thought about watching Lion in Winter, which is also about Henry II but at the end of his life and with succession being the driver of that plot. Though Lion in Winter is not a sequel to Becket, with O’Toole playing Henry II in both films, it sort of very loosely, kind’a is.

    I bring all of this up for no other reason than it occurred to me last night.

    And this morning, I just felt off. Very tired, a little anxious, and all around uneasy about myself and the day before me. The last time I felt like this was when I was working a particular job that I started to despise, and knew it was time for me to leave. But I couldn’t pin down why I was feeling this way, especially on a day like today.

    But there is a very harsh reality with being the age that I am and also having responsibilities of my family; I had to push through it. I had to make breakfast for the gang. I had to get people up and on their way. I had to do laundry and clean up. I had to making chicken stock for dinner, and lunch for the wife. In a little bit, I will take that chicken stock and tech my kid how to make Greek Lemon Soup.

    I just have to keep pushing through, but that feeling hasn’t gone away today.

  • Random Pictures

    Busy day, and trouble finding a topic, so how about the last five pictures off my phone.

  • Helping My Kid with Math Homework

    I don’t know about you, but when I found out that I was going to become a father, I had visions of all kinds of stuff I would do with my kid – like teaching them how to drive, or tucking them into bed, or dropping them off at college. But never in a million years did I ever contemplate in those early days how much time I would spend helping my kid with math homework.

    And to set the record straight from the beginning, my kid is really good at math. Like, it just makes sense to her, and she finds it fun. I am very proud of her.

    Me? I suck at math. I mean, I’m not awful at it, but there is a point where I am very proficient at all things math, and then there is this line, usually involving fractions, that I no longer have a mastery of mathematics, and start getting nervous that I don’t know what I am doing. I first encountered this feeling in 5th grade when everyone in my class seemed to understand how to multiply fractions, and… I didn’t. And it’s not that I felt dumb, it’s that I felt lost, like I didn’t know which way to go to find a solution. It’s a very unsettling feeling.

    I was able to dance around math in junior high, and high school, kept a B average but I had to work at it. Never took a calculus class, though now I wish I would have. I did the very unwise thing in college that I was warned not to do, which was save my final math class for final senior semester. Luckily, my university had a math class for arts majors – it was “Intro to Statistics.” I got a B.

    So, when the kid comes to me for help, there is a little wave of panic that wiggles through me, but I know I am just having a flashback to 5th grade. I am lucky that 4th grade math is completely in my wheelhouse, so in front of my kid, I still appear that I have a mastery on the subject. Though I might not be the best at explaining everything, I do at least come up with the correct answer.

    I know to enjoy this 4th grade year, because when she gets to 5th grade, I will be closing in on that line.

  • Spending the Night

    The kid is at the age of “Peek Sleepovers.” Such as, the success or failure of a weekend can be determined if a sleepover occurs, regardless if the sleepover is a success or not. The kid has taken part in a few “slumber birthday parties,” and a weekend away with a friend whose family has a place out of the City. I do use the term “Peek” not only because the kid is super excited about having a sleepover, but also because the kids are still at the age where they will go to bed at a relatively decent hour, so we can all get some sleep. Once they get to middle school age, then it turns into staying up all night and watching movies, and there is no guarantee that I or the wife will be able to get any rest. But, as of now, the kid is happy, and that makes everyone happy.

    There other thing that I am happy for is that the kid has no issues with spending the night and being away from us. Not all kids are like that.

    I wasn’t – I went through phases though. When I was little, I had no problem sleeping over. Then somewhere around nine, it began to bother me being away from home. Like the first few hours would be fine, then all of a sudden, a feeling of dread came over me, like I would never see my family again, or ever be happy. I know that I was feeling home sick, and that’s natural, but the feeling was so controlling and paralyzing, and the only thing I could think of was getting home. And then when I got home, I was overcome with shame, that I didn’t have the courage of strength to spend the night, and, you know, be a normal kid. When friends would invite me over to spend the night, I would come up with excuses why I couldn’t.

    Then, it just all went away. The fear, the anxiety, all of it was just gone. I remember it was 6th grade, and I was over at my friend David’s house with some other kids. We all stayed for dinner, and then his parents said if we wanted to spend the night we could. There clearly was a bit of it was peer pressure to stay over, but also, I didn’t get that sinking feeling in my stomach. I remember calling my parents to ask if I could stay, and my mother asking me over and over and over if I was sure I wanted to do this. I said that I was, and then not thinking about it again. I ran home and grabbed some clothes and a sleeping bag, and I was just excited to hang out with friends, and stay up all night.

    I think we watched “Let’s Get Harry” on Cinemax because we thought it was a dirty movie. It’s not a dirty movie, it’s just a really bad and dull movie.

  • Soccer Travel Team and Sports in General

    So, over the weekend, the kid got an invitation to tryout for a youth travel soccer team. This is something that she has wanted for some time, and was excited that the club had kept her in mind. I mean, who doesn’t like being asked to dance, right? There was a flurry in our home of making sure we had all the right equipment, and socks, and shin guards. Not that you need to have perfect equipment to be good at a sport, (Is it not the bad carpenter who complains about their tools?) but having the right stuff sure can boost your confidence.

    In my parenting philosophy, I believe that kids should play a sport, up to the age of sixteen. It was the way my parents raised me, and I have to say that it did me good. I played baseball up until twelve, and then I switched over to tennis. No real surprise here, but baseball taught me the importance of teamwork, and working toward a common goal. I loved tennis because, I was all on my own to make it happen; just me versus the other guy – which left no room to blame anyone for a mistake, other than yourself. Both sports don’t use a clock, which I guess is why I enjoy taking my time at things?

    I hope that the kid makes the team, but I also know that it’s not the end of the world if it doesn’t work out. There are plenty of other sports and teams in the City, so she will get the experience of being on a team and all the joy, excitement and disappointment that comes along with it.

    Because learning to lose and not giving up is the biggest lesson one can learn. And there is also something wonderful about being on a truly awful team. And still showing up week after week, hoping that this is the day that your fortunes change, and you win just one.

    Maybe that was my experience…