Tag: #family

  • I’m a Soccer Dad, Now

    This past weekend, the wife and I reached a huge milestone in our parenting adventure; we attended our daughter’s first soccer match. Actually, it was a mini soccer tournament between different elementary schools, which meant that we sat through seven, ten-minute matches. (It was co-ed teams that played five on five.) Though the day was colder than we expected, we had a good time watching, and the kid’s team came in second place.

    But getting back to the point – the kid is now at the age where she is playing sports that have games. This isn’t like the sports classes we put her in when she was little, where the kids learn how to dribble a basketball, or pass a soccer ball. Nope, she’s on a team that plays games, therefore these kids will experience winning and losing, and all the emotions that come with that. It is a bit of a rite of passage.

    And that passage has begun for some of the families there. When the tournament started, and teams began to be eliminated, kids started crying. By my observation; all the crying was coming from the boys. Even on my daughter’s team, when they lost the final by one goal, everyone was disappointed, but only the boys sat down and cried.

    My kid, and she is very competitive, wasn’t happy at first, but once the sting of losing wore off, she started getting more philosophical about the whole thing. She told us that second place was better than how the four other teams did, and getting to the final is pretty impressive. It also helped that she went home with a medal, which was her first, and is hanging up on her wall.

  • SNOW DAY!

    For real! No Fooling! An honest to God snow day has befallen the City!

    Sadly, most kids have to “remote in” to school today, so they aren’t off.

    But not my kid!

    Nope, her school closed, and she gets the joy of having a bonus day! She got to sleep in, and when she did wake up, she got a super sugary cereal for breakfast. There was an art project of making her own trading cards. Then we went out in the snow and walked the dog. That took it out of us, so we had hot chocolate and she curled up in her bed to read the first book in A Series of Unfortunate Events. Then she finished her homework, and is watching TV next to me on the couch as I work.

    Looking out the window, huge fat and chunky wet snowflakes are blowing sideways. For me, a kid who grew up in Texas, snow has never stopped being amazing and magical. I also remember that on those completely rare occasions when it would snow in North Texas, as we’re talking a total of 2 inches was like a blizzard there, there was this running clock in my head that I had to get out there and play in it before it went away, because it would go away. My parents grew up in Illinois, so snow was nothing new to them, and I know there were highly amused at my excitement for that least amount of snow.

    My kid has a much more chill attitude toward snow, clearly due to being born in a blizzard and having grown up in NYC. Though we haven’t had a major snow event in almost two years, we do get one good storm a season. The kid owns her own sled after all.

    But the day feels lazy and relaxing. The running clock in my head doesn’t tick anymore, and we’ll hit up the local sledding hill after lunch.

  • This is What Dad Does

    I got to do something last night with my daughter that I have been looking forward to for years. We went to a presentation of four works-in-progress puppet shows. The venue was Dixon Place down in the Lower East Side, and the showing was part of their Puppet Blok series. And, it was a school night, so this was a very special occasion. My daughter got to experience the world of puppets that I had been in, and meet some of the people I have been working with for over 15 years.

    The kid has known since forever that puppetry was the “thing” that I did in New York, but for most of the time when she thought of Dad and puppets, she was thinking “Muppets.” Slowly, as she’s grown, and I have shown her videos, and pictures of the type of work I was involved in. Some of it was traditional puppets, and some of it was mime, and other shows were more about movement and physical theatre. I never did marionettes because that is a hard skill to hone, and those guys are crazy.

    Last night, the kid got to have her first experience in seeing what it was that her father did. And I was especially happy that we chose last night because two good friends were showing their work, and both of them are very talented women who I have worked for. I wanted my daughter to see women being themselves, out front, creating art, and leading their projects.

    I was also a little nervous that the kid would get bored with the show. I learned a while ago that just because something is important to me, doesn’t mean it will be important to her. I’m not looking for her to want to become an artist or a performer. I just would like for her to have an appreciation of the arts, and the creative process. And works at this stage can be rough, very much “in progress,” and still a ways from a final form.

    But I needn’t have been concerned. She got it. She was into it. She was a great audience member as well. All four of the pieces engaged her, and lead her not to ask a bunch of questions, but to tell me how each piece made her feel. At the talk back after the show, she was a little shy to give her comments, but she whispered them to me, and I spoke up for her. Yeah, she got it.

    And it was a late night. We were riding the D train home, and she snuggled up next to be with her show program in her hand. I’m pretty sure she had a good time. I got what I wanted, which was to share a part of me with the kid.

  • Moving Stuff Around

    After Thanksgiving, like the day after, is when we put up our Christmas decorations. And to be honest, we never had a good place to put our tree. The curse of a small NYC apartment: There is a never a good place for anything.

    But this year, the wife came up with a good idea, which was to move our lounge-sofa away from our windows, and place the tree there. The tree looked nice in that location, and with all the other decoration we put up, it looked very festive, but cluttered – a Christmas explosion.

    Anyway, I mentioned before that we take everything down after New Year’s, but with the holiday on a Monday, and everyone back to life on Tuesday, we didn’t get around to cleaning up until this weekend. It took all day Saturday, but we got it done. Life had returned to normal, but we decided not to move the sofa back. We were tired, and ready to relax.

    And something amazing happened.

    The new placement of the sofa has changed the whole mood and flow of our apartment. You could logically assume that we were just reacting to something being “new” and in time it will wear off. But I have to admit, for the past two days our home has felt different, more home like, peaceful, calmer even.

    Is it possible that the placement of the sofa was holding us back? Does anyone remember Feng Shui? That was a pop-culture thing, right? Was that real or something made up to sell sofas?

    The funny thing is that I remember being a kid and my parents would do something like this very randomly, like every few years; that they would get a bug in their ear and just start rearranging the furniture in the home, and then talk about how much better everything felt.

    So, I have discovered another way that I am slowly becoming my parents. Not that I mind.

    No… Maybe the better way to think about this is that I am coming to a better understanding of who my parents were.

  • Short Story Review: “Once Removed” by Alexander MacLeod

    (The short story “Once Removed,” by Alexander MacLeod appeared in the February 7th, 2022 issue of The New Yorker.)

    Sometimes I think that half of life is just dealing with family. And when you get married, or have a partner, you adopt their family, and that takes up more time. I do think three quarters of all fiction is about dealing with families; the trauma, hypocrisy, illogic, and old feuds. Families know how to push buttons, and get you to agree to things that you would never agree to if it came from anyone else. And families somehow can make us take on roles and personas that we thought we had gotten past and stopped playing. Ah, the never ending well of drama that families can produce. And, don’t forget about minor annoyances. Families are really good at that, too.

    “Once Removed,” by Alexander MacLeod, is a minor annoyance family story. There is a thin, under the surface family issue that is hinted at, but it is not fully engaged. The story is about a Montreal couple who isn’t married, Matt and Amy, and their four-month old daughter Ella, going to visit Matt’s very distant relative, Greet. I will not explain how Greet is related to Matt as it is one of the ongoing jokes in the story, and this is a cute, funny piece. The perspective is from Amy’s point of view, and she is suspicious as to why they are being asked to a Sunday afternoon dinner; it couldn’t be as simple as Greet wanting to see the new baby, right? Lunch happens, a favor is asked, a neighbor is visited, maybe a heist happens, and Greet’s guest room is explored. The story hints that Greet has been banished from Matt’s Nova Scotia family, though never explained why, which also brings about an understanding between Greet and Amy, as Amy has never felt at place with that side of the family either.

    “Once Removed” is an enjoyable work, humors, and light in tone, and that is not meant to be derogatory. And then the story has a denouement, which I questioned. (I am aware that “denouement” may not be the correct literary term, but MacLeod isn’t the first short story writer to use this technique, or trick, and I am not sure what is a better term to use.) The climax of the story comes, and then Amy has this vision of the future involving Ella and telling her this story, of the Greet visit. The tone of writing even changes, going from realistic to more of an abstract feel, as if we are wrapping up what all of this meant. Like I said, MacLeod isn’t the first short story writer to do this, but I question the modern usage of it in a short story. I feel that a denouement is needed for longer work such as a novel, as there are many tangents that need to be brought together after the climax to bring about resolution. In a short story, enough time hasn’t been given for these tangents to be created, so a denouement feels like an add on, a trick to signal conclusion, rather than truly functioning as a conclusion to the story. I wouldn’t say it took away from the story, which I enjoyed, but made me wonder if this technique is really needed anymore.