Tag: #family

  • Short Story Review: “Once Removed” by Alexander MacLeod

    (The short story “Once Removed,” by Alexander MacLeod appeared in the February 7th, 2022 issue of The New Yorker.)

    Sometimes I think that half of life is just dealing with family. And when you get married, or have a partner, you adopt their family, and that takes up more time. I do think three quarters of all fiction is about dealing with families; the trauma, hypocrisy, illogic, and old feuds. Families know how to push buttons, and get you to agree to things that you would never agree to if it came from anyone else. And families somehow can make us take on roles and personas that we thought we had gotten past and stopped playing. Ah, the never ending well of drama that families can produce. And, don’t forget about minor annoyances. Families are really good at that, too.

    “Once Removed,” by Alexander MacLeod, is a minor annoyance family story. There is a thin, under the surface family issue that is hinted at, but it is not fully engaged. The story is about a Montreal couple who isn’t married, Matt and Amy, and their four-month old daughter Ella, going to visit Matt’s very distant relative, Greet. I will not explain how Greet is related to Matt as it is one of the ongoing jokes in the story, and this is a cute, funny piece. The perspective is from Amy’s point of view, and she is suspicious as to why they are being asked to a Sunday afternoon dinner; it couldn’t be as simple as Greet wanting to see the new baby, right? Lunch happens, a favor is asked, a neighbor is visited, maybe a heist happens, and Greet’s guest room is explored. The story hints that Greet has been banished from Matt’s Nova Scotia family, though never explained why, which also brings about an understanding between Greet and Amy, as Amy has never felt at place with that side of the family either.

    “Once Removed” is an enjoyable work, humors, and light in tone, and that is not meant to be derogatory. And then the story has a denouement, which I questioned. (I am aware that “denouement” may not be the correct literary term, but MacLeod isn’t the first short story writer to use this technique, or trick, and I am not sure what is a better term to use.) The climax of the story comes, and then Amy has this vision of the future involving Ella and telling her this story, of the Greet visit. The tone of writing even changes, going from realistic to more of an abstract feel, as if we are wrapping up what all of this meant. Like I said, MacLeod isn’t the first short story writer to do this, but I question the modern usage of it in a short story. I feel that a denouement is needed for longer work such as a novel, as there are many tangents that need to be brought together after the climax to bring about resolution. In a short story, enough time hasn’t been given for these tangents to be created, so a denouement feels like an add on, a trick to signal conclusion, rather than truly functioning as a conclusion to the story. I wouldn’t say it took away from the story, which I enjoyed, but made me wonder if this technique is really needed anymore.

  • Losing a Best Friend

    Yesterday, my Uncle Arnie passed away. He was my godfather, and he was goofy, silly, and had a very original midwestern accent that I have never been able to replicate. He was a good uncle, a great father, a dedicated husband, and he was my dad’s best friend. They grew up together, and in a funny twist of fate, they ended up marrying sisters, which meant they legally became family to each other. They liked martinis, and in family gatherings, sometimes they had to be separated at the table, because they could be a little rowdy and obnoxious. You know, just like best friends do. My heart just breaks for my Aunt Margaret, who lost her best friend, too. He was a good man, and he will be missed greatly.

    Then the other day, a friend from high school posted that another classmate of ours had died. My friend wrote a very moving post in Facebook, talking about how close they were in school, and even when they followed different paths and lived in different places, they stayed in contact, and stayed close. You could feel through her words how devastated she was in his passing, that there was a hole in her heart now.

    So, best friends, old friends, have been on my mind this weekend. We all make friends, and then those friends end up becoming family. And I miss my friends. I think what I miss most is just listening to them tell me about their lives. Their loves and adventures and experiences. To make them laugh, and vice versa. It is a motley crew of people we choose to share our lives with. Some for a short while, some forever. A friendship really is one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone.

  • First Day of Winter

    I couldn’t sleep last night, or I guess, more accurately, this morning. It was about 4:30am when I looked at my phone to see what time it was, and I wanted to try to get back to sleep. I tried. I rolled over to a different position, but it didn’t help. It was too hot in bed, I couldn’t get comfortable, and my beard was very itchy. By 5:30, I had to admit that I was awake and that I wouldn’t get back to sleep. I didn’t want to wake anyone, so I went to the office, and sat down with my journal.

    I could hear classical music coming from my daughter’s room, as she listens to that now, to help her fall asleep. The music plays all night, and there is something very innocent and endearing about it. That the kid is starting her own music education.

    I took out the journal and just started writing about the day; what I need to do, and hopefully, what I can accomplish. I also started writing about the next project that I want to work on, and how to use short stories, and story sketches together to tell a complete narrative of family dealing with mental issues.

    And I continue to write about writing. Writing about something that I would like to write about. How will I write about it? What style will I use? Will I try to craft 10 stories that each have an individual style to them? Is that possible?

    Then it dawns on me as the dawn is dawning; that this is the first day of Winter, and the shortest day with the longest night. It begins again, the growing of the day, the receding of the darkness. All things must pass, and the daylight is good at arriving at the right time, right?

    Sometimes things happen at the right time for the right reason.

  • Missing the Joy of the Holidays

    I have been trying to get in a Christmas mood, but it just isn’t taking. It’s a bit easier when the kid is around, but I think every parent would give that answer. We have done all the things that we normally do. We have decorated, made cookies, and gone out shopping. We have watched Christmas movies, wrapped gifts, and made our plans for Christmas-Eve.

    But it’s still not taking.

    Last year was weird, don’t get me wrong. The first Christmas under Covid wasn’t great, but it did feel a little like we were stealing a piece of normal back. That, out of all the awful changes, this was one old thing that was good to be doing. I think it also helped that Trump lost the election, and the first vaccines were going out, which made it feel like the world was getting better.

    I did think that by the time we hit December 2021, that we would be putting Covid behind us, the kid would have a vaccine, and no more masks. That’ll teach me to be optimistic.

    But, I don’t think I want to be a person that stops being optimistic. That today can still be a good day, and tomorrow can be even better. That I don’t have the answers but I know it will work out.

    It’s the old theatre adage; A shitty dress rehearsal makes for a great opening night. Today might be bad, but tomorrow it will all come together.

    Anyway, kind’a got off subject there. I was talking about Christmas and the Holidays.

    Let’s focus on the positive, as that is what I tell the kid to do.

    We are going to see a movie in a theatre this year. We’ll get lobster rolls on Christmas Eve, and Mom and Dad will toast a martini, though it might be a bourbon this year. Christmas coffee cake will be made, and the kid will not be able to sleep, anticipating Christmas morning.

    And we’ll be together. Which is what really counts.

  • Having a Family

    I didn’t always want to be a parent. At first, it felt like something that I had to do, or was inventible. And then when I went away to college, I started to think that being a parent wasn’t for me. The fact that I wanted to go into the arts made me feel like I couldn’t be counted on to provide. And then I met my wife, who was open with me, that one day she would want to be a mother. Not that it had to be with me, or that we had to agree on it right now, but it was important to her. I did come around to wanting to become a father, and a parent with her. Not that it didn’t scare the shit out of me, and still does, but the change was that I wanted to do it, even though it was scary.

    I think there is a big difference in wanting to do something and it scares you, and that thing scares me and I don’t want to do it.

    That is also why I am completely understanding people who don’t want to have kids for that reason; I don’t want to do it. If you have taken the time to search your soul, and that is the answer you came up with, Great! And if you have never spent any time thinking about it, and that is also you’re conclusion, Super Great!

    Because we all know the horrible truth of this world; there are people out there who should not be parents, or they became parents for the wrong reasons. And in those situations, the kids are the ones who sufferer, and for no fault of their own.

    Yes, I know there are people out there that learned to love being a parent, but that’s an awful gamble with a kid’s wellbeing.

    I say all of this because, it was a hard-parenting weekend with my daughter. Arguments, and tears, and misunderstandings, and some pretty selfish behavior. It was not fun. What it was, was a whole lotta work. And come this morning, I was tired, and sore for some reason.

    But then, I walked the kid to school, and she asked me if we could play Legos this afternoon, and listen to music.

    And not that it made up for the difficult weekend, but it reminded me of why I wanted to be a parent. Even though it is scary as shit.