Category: Writing

  • Dispatch from the Car: Schedule Issues?

    Let me establish this from the beginning, it is 9am and I have my computer on my lap while I sit in my car. I’m doing the Alt Side Parking dance, and any minute the street sweeper will coming rolling by. I bring all of this up because I’m having more issues with scheduling my life. The only time I would have today to get any writing done is this magical hour and a half; sitting in the car on the streets of New York.

    I write about scheduling often, I know. I just might be on a Quixotic quest to somehow find the perfect way to lay out all the tasks I must accomplish in a week, and like puzzle pieces, find a way to make them all fit together for maximum efficiency, and minimum effort. I am positive that I can create this system.

    And the reason that I think this is because for ten plus years, my day job was scheduling. I scheduled, rehearsals, classes, and events for a couple of studios in New York. The more efficient and tighter I could make a schedule of studio spaces, the more money I could make for the company, and the better off we all were. I wasn’t the greatest at it, but I was pretty good, and had a decent career because of it.

    Yet, in my personal life, I am really shitty at it.

    I could also argue to myself that what I am really trying to do is put order on the uncontrollable. It’s like I’m taking chicken nuggets, and trying to assemble them to recreate a chicken. Sadly, those pieces, no matter how much energy is devoted to this endeavor, will never fit together to form anything resembling a chicken. Let alone, I’m not even sure nuggets are chicken.

    I hope you get my metaphor.

    The point here people, is that I feel compelled to blame my lack of an effective schedule as the reason why I am not accomplishing more in my day. I need to complete something every day, check a box, cross it off my list, as long as I get something done. (I think this is the real reason I blog every day. I accomplish a task five days a week regardless if anyone sees it.) And right now, I don’t feel like I am accomplishing anything.

    And I haven’t gone to the gym in three weeks, but that’s a different story.

    (Like, Comment, Share, or Follow. Any one of those will do, but a combination, or selecting all four will make me a very happy blogger out here in the sticks. And Thank you for taking the time to read it.)

  • Personal Review: One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories by B.J. Novak

    I had received One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories by B.J. Novak as a Christmas present back when it came out a couple of years ago. Friends had recommended it to me, saying that this is a really funny book that I’d love. So, I have kept it close to me on my night stand over the years. It even moved cross country with me, but I never got past the reading the first few stories. Not because they were bad, or that they weren’t funny. Just, something would come up, I’d put the book down, and then time would pass before I would pick it up and try again.

    I made a promise to myself that this year I would get back to reading as much as I can, and I am up to about a book a month now. (Last year I read two books, and this year I should complete twelve. That number might not be something to brag about, but it is a vast improvement from the year before.) I am also trying to clean out my huge back log of books that I bought or received and never read. Hence how One More Thing: Stories and Other Stories got back in the rotation.

    I read through it pretty fast, and I appreciated that many of the 64 stories were short; two or three pages. The writing was impressively efficient, both in storytelling and humor. There weren’t crap sentences filling the space, everything felt like it was there for a reason. It made me feel that Novak was very seriously not trying to waste my time while making me laugh. That’s not to say that he didn’t have longer stories, or jokes that had huge set ups, but in both cases, they landed.

    There was one minor issue that had had with this book. It was the final story, “J.C. Audetat, Translator of Don Quixote.” There is nothing wrong with the story, so to speak. It’s a longer piece, that isn’t knee slapping hilarious, but it is very witty and which makes a fine point. The issue I have is its placement in the collect, as the last story. (I am aware that “Discussion Questions” is the last piece, but that is more of a running gag, and not a complete story.) For a book that had so many, for lack of a better word, laugh out loud funny stories, I found the choice to end with an “internal acknowledgement of wit” type of story rather than choosing a story that would garner an external involuntary laugh, odd. Maybe the choice was made because “Translator” was the longest story in the collection, and that seems to be the unwritten rule of short story books; you end with the longest one.

    It’s a minor complaint, and I enjoyed the running gags between stories, and the sense that I was being included in a very funny ride.

    With someone as talented as Novak is at writing stories, I wonder is why he hasn’t written more books? I know he did the “Book with No Pictures” as we have that one in our house, and my daughter loves it. And not too long ago he wrote and directed the movie Vengeance, So I guess he’s been busy. It would be nice to see another collection is all.

    (Okay, we all know how this works. I am in need of “likes” and “shares” and “comments” and followers. If you enjoyed what you have read here, then if you could, please, do one of those four things. I appreciate it. Thanks.)

  • A Little Fish in a Little Pond

    I was getting ready to work on the blog this morning, and I had been thinking that I was going to write about either Tottenham beating Frankfurt, or buying shoes for my kid’s Halloween costume, and then I saw the WORDPRESS.COM ad come up for monetizing my blog. Hell, who doesn’t like making money, right? And who out there wouldn’t like making money from the thing they like to do most; for me that’s writing about my observations that are neither revolutionary nor revelatory, but might slightly be funny. I went down the rabbit hole of having ads on my blog, and the bottom line is that if I want to see any substantial money to, let’s say, pay my family’s phone bill, then I would need thousands of people to visit my site a month. Currently, the most views I have every received on my site for a single month was 228. Though my numbers have been growing almost every month for the past year, I am a long way off from having views that would generate an income.

    The other fact that must be shared is that I am not working very hard to make this blog successful. You reap what you sow? Sure, I guess that’s true. I put forth a minimum effort, as I don’t think about design or social media, and I’m very terrible about following other blogs, and commenting on them. These are all the things you are “supposed to do” to make a blog successful, and for the life of me, I suck at it.

    What I really want to do is just write, and I do that. And this is the result.

    And you know, there is a reason why I don’t tell people about this blog, or the writing that I am doing, because when I tell them that I have a blog, and I’m writing stories, some of them will immediately start telling all the things I should do the be successful at it. I know that these friends are doing this because they care about me, and want to support me to be successful at what I am doing. Yet, when this happens, it leaves me feeling annoyed because it’s like they didn’t listen to the part of why I am doing this.

    I’m doing this because I like to do it, and I want to share it, and I’m not too concerned with how many people I share it with. I’m not saying that I’m not looking for validation, as there is a little bit of vanity in me for I do check my numbers daily. (There is something nice about seeing my four to six regular readers like a post. That does make me happy.) No matter how many people read this blog today, it will not affect my resolve to write one tomorrow.

    But I will add this, as I do think about it often if not daily; My Grandma Groff used to say that in life you need at least these three things – 1. A reason to get up in the morning. 2. You gotta have a goal. 3. A little spending money doesn’t hurt. I’m not sure if this blog, or my writing in general is fulfilling those three points, but I do feel that they are intertwined. I like getting up in the morning, and I have a goal, but it’s just that “spending money” point seems to be lacking.

    The point here people – I currently won’t be putting ads on my site.

    (So… Hey Ya! Now that you have made it this far, if you would be so kind, please take a moment to give a like, or a share, throw a comment at me, or follow this blog. Because, you know, I am a little vain.)

  • Busy Day Ahead

    I am in a hurry today. I was up at the normal time and turned the coffee maker on. I got the wife up and then the kid. Made the kid breakfast, packed her lunch. The wife got clothes out for the kid and helped her get dressed. Me and the kid brushed teeth together, put on shoes and we headed out for the school drop off with the permission slip for the upcoming field trip. I got her to school on time; said hello to her teacher and some of the other parents. Said my goodbyes and returned home. Then I made a meal plan for the week, and made a grocery shopping list. Then I balanced our check book, moved some money around, updated all of our bills to make sure everything was getting paid on time. I still need to shower and head out to Trader Joe’s before the old people and the young professionals pick over the store. Then I need to put the groceries away, make lunch for me and the wife, and then head back to school for the pickup. Hopefully the kid will want to go to the local park and play with her friends which will give me an hour or two hours to read, and write in my journal. Then home, play with the kid, make dinner, watch tv together, and then make the kid take a shower. Then that leaves snuggle and story time, with the kid hopefully going right off to sleep. Which will allow me to clean up the kitchen, and get the coffee ready for the morning. Then the wife and I will get an hour to catch up and fall asleep watching something on tv. And that’s pretty much my day.

    But before I head out to the store, I need to give myself a few minutes to write this blog thing.

    And all in all, most days, I’m pretty happy with this. Some days I do wonder if I am missing out, or I wonder if I could be doing more in the world. And then there are days where I am really terrible at this stay at home dad thing.

    This is where I am and I am happy. I know this because I don’t dread waking up in the morning.

    Okay, off to the store. Maybe there will be a Tottenham blog later in the day. We’ll see.

    (AND, please be kind and rewind and also take a moment to give a like, share, comment, or the greatest gesture of all, follow this blog. Please, it would mean a lot to me because I don’t want to start making TikTok videos.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Apple Picking, I Like Teams that Frustrate Me, and Halloween Costumes

    (By Mennen!)

    It’s Fall, which means apple picking. This is the one stupid Autumn tradition we have that I cannot quit. It’s… it’s just dumb. We go to a farm and pay the farmer to go out and harvest his crop for him. It feels like such a con, but damn do I love doing it. And we do take it too seriously. We’ll get up at the crack of dawn and drive way out to a farm in upstate New York, so we can be the first people there. And we’re gun’na buy a pumpkin too, maybe pickles as well, because I think we did that last time. The dog will be with us, and we’ll wander around the orchard, picking, then sampling apples, and if they don’t meet our standards, we’ll toss the half-eaten fruit on the ground, like some inconsiderate Patrician. Then for a week afterward, we’ll find a way to work apples into every meal. But the wife will make a really great apple pie, so that does make it worth it. It is a little bit of a cliché thing to do, but aren’t stupid traditions the ones we love the most?

    Oh, I sure know how to pick sports teams that end up confounding and frustrating me. I will say this, Tottenham accomplished the bare minimum in their Champions League Group match against Frankfurt – They didn’t lose. At the half way point in the group stage matches, Spurs are in second place with four points, so they are not out of the woods, and could still blow this. And that is the thing with this team – they still don’t seem to have found their groove. The Kane/Son duo still hasn’t shown up this season, and I think without that threat up front, it gives opponents the confidence to try added pressure against Tottenham’s back line, especially in the final ten minutes. And this Saturday will be another test against upstart Brighton, who is in fourth place behind Tottenham in the Premiere League. With only a month left to go before the World Cup break in November, Conte has to get this club into some cohesive championship form. The goal this season wasn’t to just be good, it was to win trophies.

    And, I spent two hours this morning searching and ordering a Hermione Granger costume for my daughter. Not that tie and robes boarding school stuff, no sir! She wants a very specific version of Hermione from a certain scene from a movie. I didn’t mean to, but I think I am teaching my daughter how to Cosplay.

    (Don’t forget! If you are enjoying this blog, please be kind and give a like, share, comment, or even start following! It would help my case to the wife why I need to stay in my pajamas on the sofa all morning writing this stuff.)