Category: Parenting

  • Busy Day Ahead

    I am in a hurry today. I was up at the normal time and turned the coffee maker on. I got the wife up and then the kid. Made the kid breakfast, packed her lunch. The wife got clothes out for the kid and helped her get dressed. Me and the kid brushed teeth together, put on shoes and we headed out for the school drop off with the permission slip for the upcoming field trip. I got her to school on time; said hello to her teacher and some of the other parents. Said my goodbyes and returned home. Then I made a meal plan for the week, and made a grocery shopping list. Then I balanced our check book, moved some money around, updated all of our bills to make sure everything was getting paid on time. I still need to shower and head out to Trader Joe’s before the old people and the young professionals pick over the store. Then I need to put the groceries away, make lunch for me and the wife, and then head back to school for the pickup. Hopefully the kid will want to go to the local park and play with her friends which will give me an hour or two hours to read, and write in my journal. Then home, play with the kid, make dinner, watch tv together, and then make the kid take a shower. Then that leaves snuggle and story time, with the kid hopefully going right off to sleep. Which will allow me to clean up the kitchen, and get the coffee ready for the morning. Then the wife and I will get an hour to catch up and fall asleep watching something on tv. And that’s pretty much my day.

    But before I head out to the store, I need to give myself a few minutes to write this blog thing.

    And all in all, most days, I’m pretty happy with this. Some days I do wonder if I am missing out, or I wonder if I could be doing more in the world. And then there are days where I am really terrible at this stay at home dad thing.

    This is where I am and I am happy. I know this because I don’t dread waking up in the morning.

    Okay, off to the store. Maybe there will be a Tottenham blog later in the day. We’ll see.

    (AND, please be kind and rewind and also take a moment to give a like, share, comment, or the greatest gesture of all, follow this blog. Please, it would mean a lot to me because I don’t want to start making TikTok videos.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Apple Picking, I Like Teams that Frustrate Me, and Halloween Costumes

    (By Mennen!)

    It’s Fall, which means apple picking. This is the one stupid Autumn tradition we have that I cannot quit. It’s… it’s just dumb. We go to a farm and pay the farmer to go out and harvest his crop for him. It feels like such a con, but damn do I love doing it. And we do take it too seriously. We’ll get up at the crack of dawn and drive way out to a farm in upstate New York, so we can be the first people there. And we’re gun’na buy a pumpkin too, maybe pickles as well, because I think we did that last time. The dog will be with us, and we’ll wander around the orchard, picking, then sampling apples, and if they don’t meet our standards, we’ll toss the half-eaten fruit on the ground, like some inconsiderate Patrician. Then for a week afterward, we’ll find a way to work apples into every meal. But the wife will make a really great apple pie, so that does make it worth it. It is a little bit of a cliché thing to do, but aren’t stupid traditions the ones we love the most?

    Oh, I sure know how to pick sports teams that end up confounding and frustrating me. I will say this, Tottenham accomplished the bare minimum in their Champions League Group match against Frankfurt – They didn’t lose. At the half way point in the group stage matches, Spurs are in second place with four points, so they are not out of the woods, and could still blow this. And that is the thing with this team – they still don’t seem to have found their groove. The Kane/Son duo still hasn’t shown up this season, and I think without that threat up front, it gives opponents the confidence to try added pressure against Tottenham’s back line, especially in the final ten minutes. And this Saturday will be another test against upstart Brighton, who is in fourth place behind Tottenham in the Premiere League. With only a month left to go before the World Cup break in November, Conte has to get this club into some cohesive championship form. The goal this season wasn’t to just be good, it was to win trophies.

    And, I spent two hours this morning searching and ordering a Hermione Granger costume for my daughter. Not that tie and robes boarding school stuff, no sir! She wants a very specific version of Hermione from a certain scene from a movie. I didn’t mean to, but I think I am teaching my daughter how to Cosplay.

    (Don’t forget! If you are enjoying this blog, please be kind and give a like, share, comment, or even start following! It would help my case to the wife why I need to stay in my pajamas on the sofa all morning writing this stuff.)

  • Parenting: Dealing with Disappointment

    I had mentioned back on Friday that my daughter didn’t get into the free After-School program at her school. We broke the news to her over the weekend to allow her time to process the development, and talk it out. On the whole, she said that she was okay with it. What she wanted was to spend more time with her friends at the playground and with me.

    That sounded sweet, but I had my suspicions.

    Sadly, I was correct on Monday. Drop off in morning at school was fine. I reminded her that I would be back when school let out, and that we could go to the playground if she wanted. Again, she said that was what she wanted to do. When I came back to pick her up, I could see in her eyes that it was beginning to dawn on her that virtually all of her friends, save two, got into the After-School program. We did go to the playground, and she played with her two good friends, but I knew, I mean I could feel it, that she was having the feelings of being left out and rejected. After about forty-five minutes of half-assed, her heart wasn’t into it, playing, she asked me if we could go home.

    At home, we all talked about what she was feeling, and how it hurts. We also talked about things we could do tomorrow to make after school more fun than today. When it was bedtime, she had bounced back, and was that silly goofy kid.

    When it was pick up time yesterday, she had that same gloomy face, and looking longingly at all her friends that are taking part in the After-School. When went to the playground again, but this time, her two friends weren’t there. Though there were a few kids from her class running around, she refused to play with them, because she only wanted to play with “her” friends.

    It was just breaking my heart to see her hurt in this way. I know that she originally didn’t want to do the After-School, and she really didn’t like it last year. I know it took a long time for me and the wife to convince her that we should apply for the program. I know all of this.

    And I don’t know how to fix this, and I also don’t know if I should. Disappointment is a part of life, and something that everyone has to learn to deal with. But I can’t shake the feeling that my job as her dad is to not let her suffer needlessly. Even if this is a small hiccup on the path of her life, right now to her, this is the biggest set back she’s faced. Asking her to put this in perspective is a futile act because she is too young to have a perspective. (And also, I hated when parents and teachers would tell me that what I was feeling wasn’t that big of a deal. It was a big deal to me, and that’s all that mattered.) In her life, and I know she has been very lucky so far, this is the most complicated emotional issue she has had; She wanted something, didn’t get it, and has to be reminded daily that she’s not included. She’s feeling disappointment, a little embarrassment, shame, loss, sadness, and the dreaded fear of missing out.

    I feel powerless to help her. I know we need to keep talking about her feelings, but my gut instinct is to take action – do something to better the situation. Other after school activities cost money, which we are in short supply of, so I think I’m going to have to be a little creative. Maybe we come up with a library day once a week, or visit museums? Maybe we go and volunteer at local arts organizations? Maybe we do art projects at home? Maybe I put her to work painting the apartment?

    I think the lesson I need to teach her, and reinforce in myself, is that getting disappointed is something that is inevitable and sometimes out of our control. How we deal with that disappointment is what we can control. Taking those feelings of disappointment and channeling them into something positive might be the best way to handle this situation.

    I hate seeing the kid upset, though. That one stings.

    (Say, I have a favor to ask of you. If you enjoyed this blog post, please share the love and give it a like, or a comment, or a share, or whatever combination works best for you. You’d be doing a body good.)

  • School Has Started! AGAIN!

    School started today in New York City. I know we start later than most of the country. My nieces and nephews back in Texas started school in the middle of August, and just about everywhere else gets their kids back into class before Labor Day. Either way, today was the day that the kid went back to school.

    The kid was ready to explode this morning! When I went to wake her up, she was buried deep in her blankets. I opened the shades to let in the sunlight and got a weak groan from her. But when I announced in her general direction, that today was the first day of school, she shot up in bed, eyes wide, and told me what friends she was hoping would be in her class. Her backpack was packed, and lunch made. She picked out what she wanted to wear the night before. This kid was ready.

    It was a calming reassurance getting ready for school. We brushed our teeth and took the first day pictures. We held hands as we crossed the street, and said hello to the same crossing guard who has been on that corner for years. We saw friends and parents of friends walking to the school. It was a cool, slightly cloudy September morning, but it felt perfect for going to school.

    A few things were different about this first day. There were no masks. We didn’t have to fill out a health screening. The kids weren’t kept three feet apart as the lined up to go into school. It was what I would come close to calling normal, though I am aware that this will not be a normal year. COVID isn’t fully gone, and the ramification of the past two years are still present. Students are still playing catch up, both academically and emotionally. There’s a lot that we all need to pitch in and help with.

    But, the tumbler of life has clicked into another season of the year, and things begin anew.

  • ODDS and ENDS: I Want to Watch Tottenham Live, Office Drone, and It’s Hot Out

    Tottenham is playing Wolverhampton this Saturday morning. It’s a home match for Spurs, and they should win, but I won’t be able to watch it live, because the match is being shown on USA. See, we cut the cord years ago, and I got Peacock to watch the Premier League, but not every match is shown live, so I have to wait to watch the replay later that night. I have to be very selective when it comes to going on social media Saturday, because I don’t want to accidently see the score. It’s a minor inconvenience, but it still is an inconvenience. I am sure there is a contractual reason for all for, but I still don’t understand why there isn’t one place you can go to watch all the matches live. It’s taken some time, but you can now do that with the NFL. It costs you, but there is a way for an out of market fan to watch their favorite team all season long. I’m a bit surprised that Peacock/NBC Sports hasn’t figured out a way to do this. Currently, if you want to watch your PL team live, then you need to have access to NBC, Peacock, Telemundo, Univeriso, and USA: two are free channels, two are cable channels, and one is streaming. That’s a lot of hoops to jump through, and I don’t know if that is the smartest way to build a brand. What it feels like is that NBC is just replicating their Olympic coverage system, which is terrible and no one likes. Just, come up with a better system guys.

    The wife got me to start watching Severance on Apple TV. I know that I am late to the party, as everyone has already talked about how great the show is, and I don’t disagree with that. (It’s like, if OK Computer were a tv show.) Last night as I was watching the third episode, and a thought went through my head; This show reminds me so much of working in the corporate/business world. And then I thought; I have never worked in the corporate/business world. I have worked for the past 15 years in the arts, about as far as you can get from the corporate world. Yet, this show seems to tap into something within me that makes me think that I have experienced what this show is presenting. I find that deeply fascinating.

    I love my daughter. Let’s just get that out there. I love her, and it’s my job to look after her. Today, it will be close to 90 degrees in NYC, and we have a playdate at the park. I explained to the kid that it will be hot today, and she should dress in shorts or a skirt, and a tee-shirt. Having given her these parameters, I sent her off into her room to pick out clothes, and she comes back in pants and a long-sleeved shirt. Now, my gut reaction is to tell her to go back into her room and change, but there is also part of me that wants to let her go to the park that way. You know, so she can learn to ware temperature appropriate clothing; experience is the best teacher, right? No, I chose the argument and the avoidance of heat stroke.

    (And again – please take a moment to like, share, or comment on this blog. Little kittens are counting on you.)