Category: Parenting

  • Staten Island Ferry

    I need to admit to myself, that as long as the kid is young enough to need me to get around the City, that every Spring Break will be a week of me entertaining the kid. There is a voice in my head that keeps saying that it’s not my job to keep the kid entertained, and that is true. But “entertaining the kid” for me means that I am keeping her off a screen for a couple of hours.

    To that end, we rode the Staten Island Ferry yesterday. It’s free, runs every thirty minutes, and gives you an amazing view of the Statue of Liberty, and Ellis Island. That also means the ferry is loaded with tourists. But if you know what you’re getting into, it can be a lot of fun.

    The kid had never been on the ferry, and she also hadn’t been to Staten Island before. I mean, she is a natural born New Yorker, and if you’re going to be a New Yorker, you have to have visited all five boroughs.

    I love riding the ferry. It used to be one of the “go to” attractions I would take people to when they came to visit, but I hadn’t been on the thing in close to eight years. It’s fun to cross the upper harbor and see the City from the water. I like trying to imagine what it was like to live there, 500 years ago, before the Dutch arrived. But then to also think what it must have looked like when the British Navy blockaded the harbor and invaded Brooklyn. The history buff side of me goes into over drive thinking about how many events and persons have passed through that harbor. You know, once it got so cold that the harbor froze, and you could walk across the ice from Manhattan to Staten Island.

    Watching the kid experience the ferry was a parental treat that I enjoyed deeply. Seeing her enjoy the cold air whipping her hair around, and asking me questions about ships, and New York, and the old forts that ring the harbor. It was fun to have these moments of entertaining her for the afternoon.

  • SPRING BREAK!

    The kid is on Spring Break! Not only am I the primary caregiver in our home, I am also the primary entertainer! I need to keep our daughter occupied for the next week, so the peace can be kept. See, the wife works from home, and I do as well for that matter, but I need to strike a balance between all parties, so the wife can work, and I can get my stuff done, and the kid doesn’t stare at a screen for the next ten days.

    In some far-off magical future, I’ll have a vacation home upstate that we will go to. Way off in the woods, a creek would run through the property. We would hike, and camp, and do outdoorsy things. At night we’ll build a fire in the back yard, roast marshmallows. You name it, right?

    One day…

    For now, I am forcing her to do chores with me like grocery shopping and doing the laundry. All the stuff grade school kids love to do. Maybe I’ll make her clean her room! Vacation time is chore time.

    No, I won’t be that dad. I’ll take her to a museum, probably the Whitney. We’ll head out and do some book shopping at the Strand. I’ll take her out to lunch. Last year we went disc golfing, and I think we’ll try that again.

    The one thing that I did do on this first day of Spring Break, was make her take a walk with me in the local park. Just us, walking and talking. Well… she talked and I just listened. She told me about school and her friends, and her American Doll that she got for her birthday. The kid still likes me enough to talk to me, and not that I think she ever stop talking to me, I just know teenage years can be trying, and there might be a hiatus of her sharing her life with me.

    So, I’m going to enjoy the time I’m getting with her.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Taking Water, Princeton, and Distraction

    (Smokin’ and Drinkin’ on a Tuesday night…)

    The wife and I have been taking tours of other schools around NYC. The kid is in a good school, but we just wanted to see what else is out there – weighing options. On all of these tours, they offer the parents free water, which is normal. But having done a couple of these now, I noticed that there are two different types of people when it comes to free water; either you take the water because you are thirsty, or you take the water only because it’s free.

    Princeton is the only team left in the Men’s NCAA Basketball tournament that is a double digit ranked team. And as such, I have to keep rooting for them. And I am supporting FAU as they are #9. Also, I am really going out of my way to hope and pray that Alabama and Houston lose tonight. Even though I have a funny feeling Alabama could take the whole thing.

    I get distracted very easily. For the past half hour, I went down a rabbit hole of looking at information on the death of Horatio Nelson. Why? No real reason. I know that he was shot and killed at the Battle of Trafalgar, but I didn’t know much more that that. After he died, his body was placed in a cask of brandy mixed with camphor and myrrh. I am assuming that this was a normal way to preserve a body for a long voyage back home, but did that mean that the Royal Navy had casks of brandy on ships for this reason? Or was it that a cask of brandy was the only thing around that could be used? I couldn’t find any information to answer that question. See… I got distracted.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Old Debates, It’s Okay to Not Have Kids, and Dog Shit

    (Fries are done…)

    I have been blessed, or cursed, depending on how you look at it, with the ability to stay up very late at night, and still wake up early. Though I may need a nap in the middle of the day, it’s given me one true positive advantage; I get to watch lots of useless things. Lately, I have started watching old episodes of Siskle & Ebert. The original purpose of watching was to remind myself of good movies that I had forgotten about. But as I watched these shows, I noticed something about how Gene and Roger argued. My memory was that there were passionate about their opinions and were willing to really get in there and fight for what they believed, even to the point of personally insulting the other. Yet, when I rewatched, I was struck by how they were very respectful in their arguing. And often, they looked amused when they argued. It wasn’t at all the cat and dog fights that I remembered. In one sense, I could just chalk this up to a faulty memory and a little Mandela effect. Or, maybe, televised arguing has become more brutal and bare knuckled over the past thirty years. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe people were nicer and more respectful in the past.

    Yesterday, I read about Seth Rogen and his thoughts on being married and not having kids. (Good for BuzzFeed, still staying relevant. That’s where I read it.) He made is case of what is right for him and his wife, and he did a good job of articulating his thoughts on the issue. I got a lot of married friends that don’t have kids, and I have a lot of unmarried friends that have kids. And I know some people who have kids and wish they didn’t. Look, I’m married and have a kid and I love it. I also love having one kid, and want it to stay that way. That’s what’s right for the wife and I, and we’re very happy. And no one questions our decision. Our decision gets respected, and it ceases to be an issue. I just think that courtesy should be extended to everyone, regardless of what their reason is for having or not having kids.

    But if you’re not willing to pick up your dog’s shit, then you shouldn’t have a dog. Seriously, turds are part of the deal. So, stop being a tourist and take some responsibility.

  • Inevitable Being

    Walking the kid to school this morning, she told me that she didn’t want to get married when she grew up. What she wanted was two dogs, a cat, a rabbit, and that she would be a doctor. I told that sounded like a good idea; there are a lot of people out there who don’t get married, and are very happy.

    She asked me if I always wanted to get married.

    I said no, but when I met her mother, I changed my mind. That’s what happens when you meet important people, they make you think differently about things.

    Then the kid asked me if I had a girlfriend before mom.

    I did.

    Does mom know you had a girlfriend before her?

    She does.

    Did you kiss this girlfriend?

    I did.

    DOES MOM KNOW THAT!

    She does.

    Then the kid thought about this for a while, and then concluded, I’m glad you married mom because it’s weird to think I would have had a different mom.

    And I remember thinking the same thing when I was a kid talking to my parents about how they started dating. That if things didn’t work out between my parents, I would still have been born, but just to a different mother, or by chance a different father. But whatever the pairing, I would have come into existence.

    I kind’a assumed that this childish thought that I had about my birth was due to my catholic upbringing. Having been taught that my soul was eternal, and that I would always exist, it was just a matter of God grabbing me and throwing me down to Earth to be born. That God had a plan for me, and that my birth and parents were just a necessary step in the process of my existence.

    But for my daughter, we aren’t raising her with religion. (That is a blog for a different day.) We don’t shy away from conversations about God and religion, but she hasn’t been giving the stories of how God made her soul, and sent her down to mom’s womb. She’s been told the truth, that she is a creation of a little bit of mom, and a little bit of dad, and when it’s put together, it creates an original her, unlike anyone else in the world. Yet, she still believes that her existence is inevitable. That there was nothing that would stop her coming into being.

    This isn’t a surprising revelation, now that I think about it. Can anyone really think of a world where they weren’t in it?

    Just a sweet philosophical morning with the kid.