Category: Parenting

  • Second Guessing Parent

    I have one kid, and she is an only child. Also, I’m raising my kid in New York City. These are the facts of my situation as a parent.

    I went out of my way to create my own little family in the most opposite way possible from the way I was raised. I grew up in the suburbs outside of Dallas, TX. I had two older brothers, and lived in a modest four-bedroom house with a backyard, and was surrounded by other four-bedroom houses filled with nuclear families raising lots of children. It was a neighborhood that school busses rolled through in the mornings, and was then filled with kids on bikes in the afternoon.

    I know why I live in New York City, because I wanted a career in the performing arts, and this is one of the cities you can do it in. I never wanted to get married until I met the woman who became my wife. And I never wanted kids either, again, until I met my wife, and having a family with her sounded like a wonderful idea, sprouting from the ideal place of commitment and love.

    I don’t regret anything, nor would I change anything, but there are some days that I wonder if our life would be easier, and by effect, would we be better parents, if we raised our kid in the same way we were raised – e.g. growing up in the suburbs?

    There is one running theme in my life, and that is if I am told to go right, I’ll go left. If I’m told to jump, I’ll squat. I seem to go out of my way to do the opposite of what everyone else is doing. Most of the time, to my own detriment. Am I making choices that will have a negative effect on my kid?

    The answer to that is yes. No matter what I do, there will always be unforeseen consequences. There is no right decision, only decision we learn to live with, and accept as positive. I love my parents, but they screwed up a lot with me and my brothers. (We were all stinkers, too, so I don’t blame them.) At the same time, they did most of the important stuff right, and in the end, I wouldn’t change it.

    I guess this is what I’m going for when it comes to my kid; just get the big stuff right.

  • School Recitals

    My daughter had her Spring School Recital this morning. I won’t be reviewing the performances, so to speak (I will leave that to more professional writers like Frank Rich and David Sedaris,) but I would like to talk about the kids who clearly don’t want to be there.

    When I was in grade school, I was the kid that wanted to be front and center. I tried to sing the loudest, and get the most attention. I was a drama nerd from very early on. Hence why I persuaded a professional performance and theatrical career. All be it from behind a puppet, but still. Being up in front of people is a place where I am comfortable, and watching the kids in my daughter’s class, I could see that she and a few others also enjoyed having an audience.

    Yet, I do know and understand that for most people, have a group of people eagerly stare at you is not a fun way to spend any length of time. I took a moment to watch those kids today. The kids that were told they had to be up there, and sing along. I am happy to say there weren’t any trouble makers – no one went out of their way to sabotage the proceedings. These were the kids that were looking up at the ceiling, and mouthing the words. Doing anything to just get through the three minutes of singing.

    And when the song was over, and the half hearted bow was given, then the spark of joy and excitement came across their faces as they could NOW start leaving the stage to return back to their classrooms. It was like a magic switch was thrown, and they popped back to being kids.

    My kid was awesome, by the way.

  • What I Taught My Kid

    What I Taught My Kid

    My daughter learned how to do this. I felt it was important that she understood the brilliance of “The Ministry of Silly Walks” sketch.

  • ODDS and ENDS: End of the Season, No Room, and 25-5

    (All This Can Be Yours…)

    Tottenham has two matches left to the season, and I think the best that they can do is 6th place. I predict that Spurs will lose to Brentford, and then end with a win against Leeds. There is still a chance that Tottenham will qualify for the Europa League, or the Europa Conference League next season, but being how tough the last several matches have been, they could burn out easily. I would like to see them win a trophy next season, any trophy. But all of that will depend on the next manager and if Harry Kane sticks around.

    I’m running out of room for books in my apartment. And, I have about nine file boxes in storage of more books that the wife and I have collected. I refuse to get rid of the books. That just feels like abandoning your child. Yet, I also feel compelled to go book shopping this weekend.

    I should get a move on, you know. I was able to write these first to sections of this post rather fast, and now, for the past hour I have been trying to come up with a third paragraph. Not sure why I hit this block all of a sudden. I started looking out the livingroom window, and everything just ground to a halt. I was thinking about the kid at school, and how close Summer is, and if we were going to be able to get a vacation up to Maine this year. (Rather late in the year, so I’m thinking not.) Just random idea after random idea, but nothing solid that would lend itself to a narrative. Has anyone heard of the 25 – 5-minute rule? You work for 25 minutes, and then give yourself a 5-minute break. It’s supposed to help you stay focused and not burn out. Huh?

  • ODDS and ENDS: Not Bad, Bad Words, and Words

    (Corinthian Leather wasn’t a real thing…)

    I stand corrected, and Tottenham Hotspur proved me wrong yesterday. And as promised, I’m writing about the team again. They went down two goals to Man United by halftime, and it looked like it was over. All that was left was forty-five minutes of agony. But the second half can also be a different game, match and attitude. Spurs came out and played like they wanted it. Both teams had plenty of opportunities to put the game away, but what we got was a 2-2 draw. I’ll take it. This has made the race for fourth place more interesting, and shows that there is still a good team in that Spurs squad. Ultimately, I believe they will fall short of this goal, but my hope lives on the dream that there is a manager somewhere in the world watching this team knowing what they would do to make this team win.

    My daughter, who is eight, knows most of the curse words in the English language. We do live in New York City, and the populace here is legendary for their use of swears in odd but expressive combinations. So, it’s difficult to shield her from these words. And she also goes to school which is an incubator of curse usage. But my daughter does her best to refrain from using theses words at home, though her parents fail often at trying to do the same thing. What my kid does at home to swear but not swear is use similar sound words as replacements. While playing games on the family Switch. We are peppered with her use of “frick” and “dang” and “shoot.” Sometimes she will glance at me to see if I am reacting to her use of these words, like she’s testing the waters. For I know that she wants to dive deep into the pool of four letter bad words, but doesn’t want to get grounded.

    I should be reading more. Just saying…