Category: Life

  • Busy Day Ahead

    I am in a hurry today. I was up at the normal time and turned the coffee maker on. I got the wife up and then the kid. Made the kid breakfast, packed her lunch. The wife got clothes out for the kid and helped her get dressed. Me and the kid brushed teeth together, put on shoes and we headed out for the school drop off with the permission slip for the upcoming field trip. I got her to school on time; said hello to her teacher and some of the other parents. Said my goodbyes and returned home. Then I made a meal plan for the week, and made a grocery shopping list. Then I balanced our check book, moved some money around, updated all of our bills to make sure everything was getting paid on time. I still need to shower and head out to Trader Joe’s before the old people and the young professionals pick over the store. Then I need to put the groceries away, make lunch for me and the wife, and then head back to school for the pickup. Hopefully the kid will want to go to the local park and play with her friends which will give me an hour or two hours to read, and write in my journal. Then home, play with the kid, make dinner, watch tv together, and then make the kid take a shower. Then that leaves snuggle and story time, with the kid hopefully going right off to sleep. Which will allow me to clean up the kitchen, and get the coffee ready for the morning. Then the wife and I will get an hour to catch up and fall asleep watching something on tv. And that’s pretty much my day.

    But before I head out to the store, I need to give myself a few minutes to write this blog thing.

    And all in all, most days, I’m pretty happy with this. Some days I do wonder if I am missing out, or I wonder if I could be doing more in the world. And then there are days where I am really terrible at this stay at home dad thing.

    This is where I am and I am happy. I know this because I don’t dread waking up in the morning.

    Okay, off to the store. Maybe there will be a Tottenham blog later in the day. We’ll see.

    (AND, please be kind and rewind and also take a moment to give a like, share, comment, or the greatest gesture of all, follow this blog. Please, it would mean a lot to me because I don’t want to start making TikTok videos.)

  • The Reason Why I Am Edgy This Week

    I had mentioned in my post on Friday that my family and I were going out this weekend for some apple picking, and I had joked about how silly the act of picking apples was, but deep down I really enjoy doing it. The place we went was Apple Dave’s Orchards in Warwick, NY, and we’ve gone there for several years and have always had a really enjoyable time. I recommend you head out there, and get the apple cider donuts while you’re at it.

    And after the apple picking, we ran a few errands in New Jersey before we headed home to Harlem. While we were running these errands, I felt myself getting edgy. I didn’t have an outbursts, or get mad at anyone, but I could feel this slight level of annoyance building in me. I know myself well enough to know that I needed to remind myself to relax, and not take anything serious.

    But for the rest of the weekend, this feeling of frustration never left me. It was also a feeling of stress and anxiety. My shoulders ached. I got a canker sore in my mouth. I had trouble sleeping. I was feeling like I was falling apart, but I could think why? I’m having the normal stresses in life, such as nothing has changed recently. We are plugging away, trying to get ahead like we have been trying for the past two years. Life’s normal.

    As I was taking our laundry to the laundromat this morning, I started thinking about my weekend, and how I might want to write a blog about apple picking. I took some pictures of our apple adventure on Saturday, and thought I might want to use them in the blog, which reminded me of the first time we went out to Dave’s Orchards with my parents, who had come to visit us in the fall of 2017. And the reason we go back to Dave’s every year because it is a place that we have fond memories with my mother, who passed away four years ago on October 14th.

    And then I knew.

    I had forgotten about the anniversary of my mother’s death. Well… consciously I had, but not sub-consciously.

    I know that my mother is dead. It’s not like I forgot that. I am at the point now that I can talk about my mother without an issue. I can even talk about her death and the awfulness of losing her. What does get to me is thinking about the things Ma isn’t here for; birthdays, holidays, and a simple phone call. It breaks my heart not being able to share things with her. Whether she wanted it or not, I did talk a lot to her.

    It will be a tough week, and I’ll be subdued while just feeling sad. It’s not like I won’t be able to function this week, or that I will be angry or something. What it’s like is having a blanket of melancholy around me, and all events will be filter through that feeling. And that will be manageable.

    I just miss my mom, still. That’s all.

    (Hey. Thanks for taking a second to read this. If you could, please take a moment to give a like, share, or comment, and follows are always welcomed.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Apple Picking, I Like Teams that Frustrate Me, and Halloween Costumes

    (By Mennen!)

    It’s Fall, which means apple picking. This is the one stupid Autumn tradition we have that I cannot quit. It’s… it’s just dumb. We go to a farm and pay the farmer to go out and harvest his crop for him. It feels like such a con, but damn do I love doing it. And we do take it too seriously. We’ll get up at the crack of dawn and drive way out to a farm in upstate New York, so we can be the first people there. And we’re gun’na buy a pumpkin too, maybe pickles as well, because I think we did that last time. The dog will be with us, and we’ll wander around the orchard, picking, then sampling apples, and if they don’t meet our standards, we’ll toss the half-eaten fruit on the ground, like some inconsiderate Patrician. Then for a week afterward, we’ll find a way to work apples into every meal. But the wife will make a really great apple pie, so that does make it worth it. It is a little bit of a cliché thing to do, but aren’t stupid traditions the ones we love the most?

    Oh, I sure know how to pick sports teams that end up confounding and frustrating me. I will say this, Tottenham accomplished the bare minimum in their Champions League Group match against Frankfurt – They didn’t lose. At the half way point in the group stage matches, Spurs are in second place with four points, so they are not out of the woods, and could still blow this. And that is the thing with this team – they still don’t seem to have found their groove. The Kane/Son duo still hasn’t shown up this season, and I think without that threat up front, it gives opponents the confidence to try added pressure against Tottenham’s back line, especially in the final ten minutes. And this Saturday will be another test against upstart Brighton, who is in fourth place behind Tottenham in the Premiere League. With only a month left to go before the World Cup break in November, Conte has to get this club into some cohesive championship form. The goal this season wasn’t to just be good, it was to win trophies.

    And, I spent two hours this morning searching and ordering a Hermione Granger costume for my daughter. Not that tie and robes boarding school stuff, no sir! She wants a very specific version of Hermione from a certain scene from a movie. I didn’t mean to, but I think I am teaching my daughter how to Cosplay.

    (Don’t forget! If you are enjoying this blog, please be kind and give a like, share, comment, or even start following! It would help my case to the wife why I need to stay in my pajamas on the sofa all morning writing this stuff.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: North London Derby, Apple Picking, and My Flute!!!

    (My weekly segment and , you know, I like soup.)

    Here we are – Tottenham v Arsenal. The North London Derby. The #1 and #3 team of the Premiere League go at it. Will Spurs stay undefeated? Will Arsenal stay on top of the League? I won’t know because NBC is showing the match in USA, and I don’t have cable. I have Peacock, and the more I say that out loud, the sillier and more embarrassed I feel. What the hell am I paying for if I can’t watch matches live. (Yes, I sound like a bitter old man, and yes, I will start yelling out a cloud next.) Anyway, I saw a report that Dejan Kulusevski got injured this past week, and might not play. On paper that shouldn’t be an issue with Kane, Son and Richarlison up front and Dier anchoring the back line. Still, it is Arsenal which has been playing really well, and if there is a team that can get under Tottenham’s skin, it’s Arsenal. Should be a fun match, but I’ll have to catch it on the replay, because NBC’s Premiere League coverage sucks.

    Tomorrow starts October, which means I will go apple picking with my family, and I will have flannel on. Even if it is too warm out, I will be decked out in Autumn appropriate clothing, even if it kills me. It just was the season demands.

    Apparently, according to our American Conservative friends, Lizzo isn’t allowed to play an old flute that no one knew existed three days ago. I can’t prove any of this, but I have a feeling that the idea of Lizzo playing the Madison flute probably was thought up by someone in the Library of Congress with the intention of expanding kids’ interest in American history, and Lizzo was all for it. Good intentions, you know… I bet there are a bunch of history nerd at the LoC looking at each other wondering how this flute situation has become “controversial.” I bet the “H.E.R. Playing Lincoln’s Guitar” idea is now out the window.

    (Say, before you head over to another blog, do me a favor, huh? I need you to like, share, comment on, or subscribe to this blog. Every click I get helps an angel keep his wings.)

  • Love What You Do

    I had a conversation about work and working yesterday with a friend of mine who used to be my boss a couple of years ago. It was a video chat, as my friend lives on one side of the country and I’m on the other. Part of the conversation was to catch up, the other was a semi-interview as my friend was doing a little research on the jobs and careers that people choose.

    As we talked, I admitted that I have never had a job that made me excited to get up in the morning. I never rolled out of bed ready to greet the day and tackle work. I have had jobs that I enjoyed, but to be honest, what I have really enjoyed about working is the people I have worked with. I have made some really great friends, and I sure have laughed hard with a great many people. That is what I think of when I share the good memories of being employed.

    I can never get past the thought that my time is being purchased by someone, or an organization, for the purpose of making them more money. Sometimes it is a very equitable exchange, well balanced, thus not causing any friction. Other times, I have felt like I am being taken advantage of, and I don’t want to be there.

    My friend did ask me, what do I think would be the one job that would make me excited to get up in the morning, and I answered, none; I don’t think it exists.

    I do believe there are some people out there that do in fact, find that perfect job or career, and they are sure excited to go to work every day. My mom was a nurse, she always wanted to be a nurse, and she loved being a nurse. I know teachers that are like that, and small business owners – that is totally true, they love what they do.

    But the rest of us?

    What gets us excited in the morning are our kids, or our spouse, or our garden, or sports team, or travelling, or creating art, or whatever. I believe that there is a large group of us who feel and believe that working does not and will not make us happy. Working is a necessary evil to get us to the things that make us happy. Be honest, this isn’t a revolutionary thought. We all know this to be true. Most of us don’t like working no matter what job we have.

    When I finished my conversation with my friend, I started thinking, where did this idea come from that we should be joyous and contented with our employment? That if you are not loving what you are doing, then you somehow have messed up in life. That one’s being has to be related to their labor.

    I think it might be rooted in the question we were asked as kids; What do you want to be when you grow up?

    (But before you go! I need you to validate my labors, simply by liking this post, commenting on it, or even sharing it. It will help keep the unemployment rate below 4%.)