Category: Life

  • It Snowed

    It snowed last night. That was cool. We haven’t received any snow this year in NYC, and it feels really weird. I am aware that this might become the new normal for the region. Warmer than average temperatures, then a bomb blizzard, then back to above normal temps. When do we get to the point that this is now normal? I think you get there when all of the people who remember what it was like before have died off.

    Yikes! There’s your dark take on a Tuesday.

    The nice thing about our three inches of snow was that it made walking the kid to school an exercise of fun and excitement. She got to put on her snow shoes, which, obviously, she hasn’t had a chance to wear. And the best part was her walking in all the spots of fresh snow no one had touched yet. She was giddy, and I am sure it has made sitting in class today very difficult.

    For me, I feel like I have been granted the first season of the year. It really isn’t Winter around here until there is snow. You know. You need flowers in the Spring, heat in the Summer, and leaves changing in the Fall. It’s part of the deal. And the older I get, the more I need it to happen. The cliché is for old people to move South or West, get out of the cold and live in the heat. But I find myself running in the opposite direction. I want to see the passage of time, the cycle continue and renew.

    Let’s face it, as some people get older, they want to be as comfortable as possible, which makes complete sense. You have worked hard, now you want to relax and enjoy the final years, and be as predictably comfortable as possible. Not knocking it, and I may want that someday.

    But what I want now is to see the changes come. To count my Winters and Summers, and experience the seasons. Has being comfortable ever spurned growth? Maybe I’m not ready to stop the wheel of time in life. Maybe I need to see the passage of time to know that I have a place in it. (I’m putting a lot on these three inches of snow, I know that.) Maybe seasons remind me that there is something bigger than me out there.

    (Psst! If you enjoyed, pleas take a moment and give this post a “like.” I, ahh…, I need the algorithm to kick me up a notch. Thanks.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Dog Person, NYC, and The Sofa

    (Growing Equals Learning, and Vice Versa…)

    It dawned on me last night, as I was walking the dog around the neighborhood at 9pm, that I can’t go back to having a cat. I like cats, I have a soft spot for cats, and I love seeing bodega cats; they are my favorites. But I’m a dog person now. And it comes down to litter boxes. I prefer to have my animal friend relieve themselves on the street, or on occasion, in neighbor’s yard. I am totally fine with having green plastic bags on me to pick up poop. But the idea of having a box in my home that I have to clean excrement and clumping pee out of daily is a task that I never want to return to. This is not a knock against cats – it’s just that I don’t want to do that chore anymore. So, my lot is now thrown in with dogs.

    I still like living in New York. After everything that we have gone through these past three years, I still like this town. Wednesday and Thursday, I had to run errands all over Manhattan – from Harlem to the Battery, and I still find this place fascinating and thrilling, and dirty and gross, dangerous and wonderful. I fear that I might become one of those people who cannot function when away from the City. That I will be locked in a perpetual low-grade orbit of this place, never to break free.

    If my office is the couch, then I need a better couch.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Gumbo, Tottenham Tears, and Tag

    (I’m in the people business…)

    Every weekend, I try to make a big family meal. My “go to” is a roast chicken, mashed potatoes and a green vegetable. If I get really crazy, I’ll make carnitas for tacos, or a pot roast. This weekend, I am yet again, trying my hand at making gumbo. I have been working on this recipe, more off than on, for the past couple of years, and it never turns out the way I want. I have a very specific vision of what my gumbo should be, which is based off of a local restaurant in the town I grew up in. Sadly, the restaurant has gone out of business, so I’m going off my memories. When I think of this magical gumbo, I see a deep brown color, I taste an aromatic spicy flavor (not “spicy hot” though they encouraged you to add Tabasco to your personal taste,) and it smells fresh as it has been made from scratch. Most of the recipes I have tried put tomatoes in it, which makes the color reddish, or it calls for too much spicy making the heat kill any of the flavor. But, the weather will be cooler this weekend, I have made my own chicken stock, and armed with another recipe, I will chase after this whale.

    When I think of Tottenham, it makes me want to cry. It’s like the team doesn’t want to win. They are on the verge of being eliminated from the Champions League, and when it comes to the Premiere League, I think they have parked themselves in 5th place, and won’t be going anywhere else. Like I said, I just want to cry.

    For the record, there was a game of tag that I won back in spring of 1997. It took place at a playground not too far from the dorms at UNT. I hadn’t thought about that night in almost 25 years, but it came back to my while I was running on the treadmill this morning. Funny, huh?

  • Thoughts on Time and Settling (Unedited)

    The wife and I made a promise to each other for 2023. I don’t want to call it a resolution, because those are stupid, and doomed to fail. The promise we made was twofold:

    “No more wasting time, and no more settling.”

    This isn’t self-help garbage, like the “Hang in There” kitten poster. This is a pragmatic reminder.

    We do waste an enormous amount of time each day. Looking at our phones is the biggest culprit. But also, mindless eating while looking at the tv. Staying up late to stay up late (that one’s all me) and I have to go back and mention the phones again, because, you know, phones will eat up hours of your day. See, and this time wasting leads to us having to settle on things, because we haven’t given ourselves enough time to accomplish the things we want to do. It can be a vicious cycle, and we’d like to bust out of unhealthy cycles.

    And like all changes in life, no one really likes it, and it’s hard to follow though on.

    The wife is doing better than I. She is making it to yoga on the scheduled days, and going to bed on time. I can’t seem to get to the gym more than twice a week, and that should increase to at least three to four days a week. Like I said above, I’m still not making it to bed on time, which means I’m only getting like six hours of sleep.

    And as we start the game of setting goals and trying to achieve them as a family, I can’t shake the feeling that there is a clock, and I am running out of time. Maybe it has to do with being in my mid-forties, which I have been thinking about a lot of late, and that I might need to have to make some tough choices; I can’t do it all – something will have to fall to the wayside and be left behind.

    I have been with my wife for seventeen years, married for twelve, and they have been good years. We have a kid we love, and want to provide for, which is the real motivation for this. We will only have so much time with her, and then she will be out there in the world. We need to be parents that she can count on, and follow through when we say we are going to do something.

  • Makes Me Happy

    First of all, I just found out that Ted Lasso Season 3 premiers on March 15th. It is a little hard for me to pinpoint how happy this news makes me. It’s not just that it is a good tv show, which it is, but what I am feeling is akin to the anticipation of reuniting with a group of old friends I’m very comfortable and at peace when I am around them.

    The other thing is that it is Valentine’s Day, which is a very big deal for my daughter. For her, it is still very innocent, and she enjoyed signing Valentine’s Day cards for all of her classmates. We gave the kid some chocolates and some nail polish. After school, we’re going to bake brownies together and play Mario Cart. We celabrate in the traditional ways.

    This day isn’t that big of a deal for me and the wife, though she did get me a card this morning. I’m gifting her a bottle of wine, and a foot massage with no expectations. Again, the traditional way to celebrate.