Category: Life

  • Talking to my Dad

    I video chat with my dad every week. We occasionally text when something funny happens, or when we need to change the time that we will video chat, but video chat is the main way that we communicate with each other.

    He sits in his study; I sit in my office/bedroom. Sometimes my wife wanders in to say hello, or to join in the conversation. The kid comes in from time to time. Usually for about five or ten minutes to tell grandpa about all the things that is going on. I don’t force them to join, nor do I try to exclude them from talking to my father – it’s an open-door policy – but I especially don’t want them to feel obligated to talk to him.

    These chats are a continuation of the weekly chats I had with my mother before she passed. I mean I always called my parents on Sunday, as they did to their parents. The video chatting started when the kid was born, and Ma wanted to see her granddaughter. Who can blame her, the kid is pretty cute. Yet, in all these video chats in the past, my dad would be there, but he would hang out on the periphery of the screen. He was there, paying attention, throwing in a comment or two, but he was clearly in a supporting role.

    After my Ma passed, I made a point of wanting these chats to continue. Making sure that my Dad had someone to talk to, even if I was 1,500 miles away. (I wasn’t the only one. My brothers and sisters-in-law also made sure that he wasn’t alone, but they do live within driving distance of him.) For many reasons, it wasn’t easy at first. With so much loss and sadness, it can take some time to find your footing again, and also discover that joy can still be had in this world.

    Now, six years on, the guy doesn’t stop talking. It’s like he’s had all these conversation in him, and now he can’t wait to get them out!

    I know that I am lucky and fortunate that I am getting this time with him, to know him.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Coffee, Tea, and Cookies

    (Oh, to feel love’s sting…)

    I have loved coffee for as long as I can remember. As a kid, coffee was the key to adulthood; it’s what all grownups did in the morning – drank coffee and ate breakfast, or complained about what their day was going to be like. I can see my parents, coffee cup in hand, watching me and my brothers opening Christmas gifts. It’s what my Uncle Ron drank all the time, especially when he would visit and smoke his pipe – the only person who was allowed to smoke in our house. I got my first coffee mug on Valentine’s Day, when I was in the 6th Grade. It was a corny mug that had a heart shaped handle and said “The Luv Mug” on it. My Ma gave it to me. I was the only twelve year old who was drinking coffee and reading the paper before school. I’m not the type of person who gets a headache if they don’t have their coffee in the morning, and I am also the type of person who can drink coffee all day, and it doesn’t affect my sleep, but I am the type of person that if I don’t drink coffee in the morning then I feel like the day isn’t right.

    Over the last two years, I have started drinking tea in the afternoon. Actually, 4pm to be precise, and only from October to March. You know, the cold months around here. I don’t know why I started doing it, and it would be easy to throw my wife under the bus on this one, as she does like a peach tea from time to time. But I got a box of Black English Tea, made a cup with a little milk and sugar, and it became rather satisfying in the afternoon. I even have a specific mug that I use for my tea. Funny how before, I only viewed tea as something that one drank when they sick, like had the flu. Tea was like coffee, but not as strong, so it was more water and less caffeine, you know, what sick people need.

    I have to go to Trader Joe’s today (Woop! Woop! On 125th!) to pick up a few things for the weekend. I know I shouldn’t do it, but I will buy a bucket of cookies. I woke up this morning knowing, to my core, that I would walk into that store, and get that plastic container of chocolate-chip cookies, and eat most of them over the next two days. For no other reason than I want to. I have been good about going to the gym, and sticking to my running two miles three days a week, and I started to notice that my shirts and pants aren’t so tight, and my energy has been up, and I do feel more focused. And I am focused on eating cookies all weekend long.

  • Autumn Memories, Sort of (Unedited)

    There is a serious Autumn chill in the air today, and it’s awesome. This was the first day that I could put on a button-down shirt, and a sweater, and a coat. Leaves are changing color in the City, and it’s getting darker earlier. My wife loves this time of year because we can leave the bedroom window cracked, making it all chilly in there, and sleep under all the comforters. (But I hate Pumpkin spice, so don’t get me started on that shit.) For a guy who loves Fall, this was like Heaven.

    As a kid growing up in Texas, Autumn didn’t start until November. And even then we had a couple of Thanksgivings were we had to run the air conditioner – not that it stopped my father from building a fire in the fireplace. Usually, by Halloween, it started to noticeably cool down at night, so you’d have to put on a sweater ort a coat. Maybe the leaves would just start changing color. I do remember several Halloweens where we were sweating while Trick or Treating. Depending on what your costume was, this could make the evening a very sweaty affair.

    Sadly, Fall in Texas was not a long season. As soon as it started, a month later it was December, and full on Texas winter. All the leaves had fallen, and it was a chilling 50 degrees out. Basically, you had one month to get all you Autumnal fun in.

    And then by March, it was Spring, and warm again.

  • Gone Fishin’

    I know I am doubling up on the colloquial gerund jokes for titles of late, but my day got away from me and didn’t have time for a full blog.

    So… reading on the couch listening to Bobby Timmons instead.

    Catch you tomorrow.

  • Sketchbook