Category: Life

  • To Dare is to Do

    I have written about my current inability to finish reading a book. I start one, start the habit, then something happens, and I get out of the habit. This has everything to do with discipline, and my complete lack of it. Maybe I made the mistake in believing that the Pandemic would give me to opportunity to reset my life, and to create new, better habit, or at least correct things. But unemployment, remote school, and the feeling for the first two months of the pestilence that we were going to die… It made some easy things very difficult to accomplish.

    But the Pandemic is coming to an end and we will start living close to normal lives again. In that spirit, I am giving reading and finishing a book one more shot.

    I pulled down Donald Barthelme’s 60 Stories and started again. “Audere est Facere,” seems to be the idea here. I might fail again. And thus, try again, and sadly, fail again. I know what the right thing to do is, and I just need to keep trying. Everyone gets knocked down, not everyone gets back up.

    Now after having been very dramatic about reading, the other thing is that I do want my daughter to have the habit, the good habit, of reading, and I have to set the example. I have to show her that reading is important, that it’s enjoyable, that it’s the right thing to do. Really, there is my motivation. Just try again.

  • A Friendly Mask-less Walk

    So, I have been walking around the neighborhood without a mask for a little over a week now. I did the thing where I have my mask on but I have pulled it under my chin. It’s like trying to have it both ways; I have a mask on but I don’t. At the start of the week, I just pulled the band-aid off, and went out mask-less, but I do take a mask with me, tucked into my front shirt pocket. (There is always a chance I might have to go in a store or ride a bus, so I keep the mask on me at all time.) There was a bit of nervousness with the act, like I was breaking some social code, like white pants after Labor Day.

    When I walk around, even with the dog, there are a few people that give me a dirty look, but this is New York, so that really is par for the course. Also par for the course is that most people keep looking down, or straight ahead as if you don’t exist.

    But today, as I walked the dog, it was the first day that I noticed that smiles are coming back. And even in some cases a smile with a nod. It’s a small touch of friendly, and it does make the neighborhood feel like a neighborhood again.

  • New Mask Rules

    So, we don’t have to wear masks, pretty much, anymore. That happened a lot faster and sooner that I thought. Not that I am complaining, but if that is what science is saying…

    I am aware that you still need to have a mask on for public transit, and I’m cool with that.

    The funny thing is that yesterday, the kid and I decided to take the subway to a playground because, well, we can do that again. We can go out and explore our city. We found a playground that wasn’t too far away, but wasn’t too close. We masked up on the ride down to the park, and I kept mine on as we entered the playground. I found a bench to sit at, and took my mask off as I can, now. The kid, on the other hand, kept her mask on as she ran around and made new friends.

    We were there for a long time, as it was a nice day, and the kid deserved some freedom. As the time to head home neared, I got up, and put my mask on the cross the playground, and then SNAP! The elastic that fits around my left ear snapped. I was mask-less, and I didn’t have a backup.

    What an ironic conundrum to be in. Only an hour or two earlier the CDC had said that masks weren’t required, but I needed a mask to ride the subway home. The easy answer was that I just had to retie the elastic so it would fit around my ear, but for a minute, I wondered when will we be able to ditch all the masks?

  • Riding the Subway Again

    I am fully vaccinated against Covid-19. I received my second Pfizer shot over two weeks ago, so I am cleared to not wear my mask when outside, and I can ride on mass transit, provided I still mask up.

    The subway is my big test. I have not used mass transit since March 2020, so it has been 14 months that I have stayed in my neighborhood to run errands by myself. When the wife is available, we use our car, but that means it has to be after work or on weekends. Though it works, it’s not always practical. For us to get back to “normal” I need to use the subway to run errands in the City.

    Yesterday, I rode the B train from 125th street to 96th so I could shop at the 93rd Street Trader Joe’s, and then back. This was my test day, and I know that it was a test that I would easily accomplish, so I guess it was more like re-experiencing normalcy.

    Standing on the platform at 125th, I put my headphones on, and listened to music, which I really hadn’t done outside of the home in a while. It was reassuring to hear the overhead announcements about the incoming train stopping on the local track. The smell from the tunnel as the wind rushes up when a train approaches; that twisting smell of tar, and exhaust, and a hint of garbage.

    When I boarded the train and sat, there were very few people around. I wasn’t sure what to do with myself for the short ride. I was listening to music, but I felt that I needed to do something. So, I pulled out my phone and played a game. I wanted to look around, but I felt that I should stay in my little bubble.

    I got out at 96th, and walked down Central Park West. It was reaffirming to listen to music, meandering down the street, and see people coming and going; kids and dog walkers, delivery and doormen, people strolling and self-involved.

    The shopping at Trader Joe’s was normal, or Covid normal. A short line out front, people keeping their distance in the store, and a very long checkout line. My groceries filled two double bagged paper bags, so a modest haul for my family of three, but it was also two heavy bags that I had to carry three blocks and an avenue.

    I was out of shape for that; carrying stuff any distance, and it really wasn’t that long of a distance. We had been doing big grocery shops with the car, so I had forgotten the rule of “You only buy what you can carry.” By the time I made it back to the 96th station, I began to feel the strain in my shoulders.

    I took another B train, uptown this time, and when I stepped on, I took a seat where someone had been sitting who had just gotten off. This was something that everybody does all the time on the subway, and as I sat down, I had the thought that maybe it’s not safe to sit where someone had just been sitting? Then I had to remind myself that I’m vaccinated, and you can’t get it from a surface.

    I departed the B at 125th Street, and when I stepped off the train a smell of fish hit me. I had forgotten that there is a spot on the uptown side of the platform that is right under a fresh seafood shop. It was a little reminder of the quirks at the station. It was a detail that was a fun reminder, but come the sticky heat of summer, it will no longer be so pleasant.

    I made it home, and the total time that the errand took, from leaving the apartment to returning to it, took one hour and thirty minutes. If memory serves, I used to be able to accomplish the task in one hour flat. So, I have something to work towards. Because, I will be doing this again; The riding and walking and carrying, but at some point, I won’t have a mask on, right? That’s the real return.

  • First Day Without the Mask, Sort Of

    As of today, it has been two weeks since I got my second Covid vaccine, which means that the medicine is now completely in my system, and I am at FULL VAX!

    This also means that I can now go out in the open without a mask.

    Which I tried this morning while walking the dog.

    And it was weird.

    Weird not having a mask on. For lack of a better word, I feel very exposed without it.

    When I walked out of my building this morning, I had my mask in my pocket, and I thought if I encountered people that were close to me, I would put the mask on. So, ah, that didn’t work out too well, as this is New York, and there is a person every five feet.

    What I ended up doing was the mask under my chin look, and when a person got close, I would pull it over my nose and mouth. It sort of worked, but I did feel a little silly pulling it up and down. I fully admit that I am now dealing with the social pressure of a mask, and not thinking logically about the need of a mask. But, in my defense, this is my first day, so having some hesitancy seems to be appropriate. Later today, the kid and I will go to the playground at the local park, and that will be the next test. I intend to sit on my bench mask-less. We’ll see if I hold to that.