Category: Art

  • My Rejected “Mentions” Submission

    On August 31st, I had a flash of inspiration, and quickly jotted out the following four sentences:

    “As Donald Trump’s surrender in Georgia grew closer, many on social media started to joke that the former President might need to hire a bail bondsman.

    On the day of the arrest at the Fulton County Sheriff’s Office, to many people’s surprise, the former President had, in fact, secured Foster Bail Bonds, LLC of Lawrenceville, GA to execute the bond.

    This made CEO Charles Shaw the first person in American history to bail out a former President.

    Mr. Shaw, it is easy to say, might be the most famous bail bondsman in America right now, if you excuse Chico’s Bail Bonds support of the Bad News Bears.”

    I thought it was funny.

    But I wasn’t sure what to do with it. The first thought I had was to put it up on my blog, or maybe Twitter/X. Then I remembered that The Drift has a “Mentions” section, which consists of short humorous pieces, four sentences long. I quickly looked up the email address for submissions, and sent it off. Let me throw my luck into the wind and see what will happen! Odds are they would say no, but maybe today would be different.

    And then I reread the “Mentions” section, and it dawned on me that they are looking more for cultural observations, and not so much current events. Yeah… felt like I popped the bed on this one. I even posted a Tweet about it.

    This morning a received a response to my submission, and they did say no. I don’t disagree with that decision, and their form letter to me was rather pleasant for a rejection.

    As such, I now share this “mention” on my blog. If there is anyone out there who would like my four sentence humorous critiques about whatever pops into my head, my going rate is $25 per post, or best offer.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Harry Kane, Goodbye Japan and England, and Bookstores

    (Witty Quip!)

    After three years, and I believe it has been three years, of me saying that Harry Kane will leave Tottenham for another team; it has come to pass. The Athletic is reporting that Kane is going to Bayern Munich. I wish it weren’t true, but it is. And though I would have liked to have seen Tottenham win, I don’t know, several trophies – the odds of that happening in the near future are slim. If Kane wants to be considered in the top tier of international footballers, then he needs to win some hardware, and Bayern makes sense for that reason. In one year, he could win the Bundesliga championship, and the Champions League. Sadly, Tottenham management, looking at you Levy, couldn’t get their act in gear and deliver a manager and additional players to move Spurs into that level, and hence, why Kane left. I don’t blame him. You compete in professional sports to win, and you have to go where your odds are best for that outcome. I guess I will need to start watching Bundesliga now.

    And Japan lost to Sweden! I didn’t see that coming. I started to think that this was Japan’s Cup, and that there wasn’t another team out there that could keep up with them. But the Swedish women aren’t messing around, and I think they might take the whole thing. As for England – they’re done. The two-game suspension on Lauren James’ Red Card against Nigeria is a team killer. She and that team lost their composure, and that is a fall that is hard to recover from. I see Columbia taking full advantage of this situation, seeing how far they can push England. That having been said, since I am always wrong with soccer predictions, I am now calling a Sweden v Australia Final. 100% Guaranteed. Take it to the bank!

    And in the end; I about to head to the local bookstore with the kid. I’m going to get her a book or two. Maybe one for myself as well. It’s late Summer and the clock is ticking until she’s back in school, and then we start the marathon to the end of the year. So, with that in mind, I want to go to a bookstore. And wander the shelves, and let my kid go forth and discover things that she might want to read. My dad used to do this with me when I was her age, and being lost in a bookstore does somehow slow down time. Nothing happens quickly there, as discovery arrives on its own schedule.

  • Can’t Get an Idea to Stick (Unedited)

    I have been working since this morning, and I can’t get an idea to stuck for the blog.

    I have summer on the brain, and I can’t get myself to focus.

    And this is a cop-out of a blog, in case you weren’t sure.

    I can’t write, so I write about not being able to write.

    I should make a category for this posts.

    The other thing that becomes apparent on days like this is that I don’t do enough pre-planning for blog posts. I do them day of, most of the time, and when moments like this occur, I feel like I got caught with my pants down.

    Long ago, I tried writing ahead, so I could give myself windows of time off. I should revisit that plan.

    Since I am throwing in the towel for today at 3:14pm, I might just state what I have been doing while trying to come up with a blog idea.

    1. I went shopping for journals with my daughter.
    2. I read the Wikipedia page on Watergate.
    3. I have been following all of my writer and actor friend’s social media posts to see when the SAG-AFTRA strike is going to start.
    4. For lunch, I got falafel sandwiches for the family.
    5. Finished my Summer Playlist
    6. I took a nap.
    7. I read some flash fiction.

    Now, I’m about to take the kid to the local pool as it is summer and hot as shit out. Thus will end my writing portion of the day.

    At least I got 262 words in.

  • What We Can Learn from “THE IDOL”

    (SPOLIERS but really, does it matter…)

    First of all, I’m not here to pick apart this show. IF somehow you missed it, THE IDOL is a show on HBO with a five-episode run. The show is about the music industry in Los Angles, and stars The Weeknd (Abel Tesfaye) and Lilly-Rose Depp. If you do a search, you’ll find out that it’s not good. But, depending on how you view “bad” tv, you could either find it maddingly self-indulgent with a side of pointlessness, or an entertainingly hot mess of a dumpster fire. (I’m in the dumpster fire category.) I’m not here to bemoan the quality of the show as a whole, as there are many, and I mean MANY, other and much better TV critics who have taken this show to task.

    What I am here to single out and applauded is quite possibly the greatest demonstration of Third Act Narrative Exposition I have ever seen in all of my life. I will be SPOILING episode 5 of THE IDOL. You have been warned!

    To give you the set up – Jocelyn (Lilly-Rose Depp) has kicked Tedros (Abel Tesfaye) out of her home and life, all the while stealing his cast of singers. She then asks her manager Chaim (Hank Azaria) to “pay off” Tedros and “get rid of him.” Then the scene jumps ahead six weeks, and we are at So-Fi Stadium in Los Angeles during sound check for Jocelyn’s world tour which is about to kick off with Tedros cast of singers as the opening act. High up in the empty stands, Chaim is talking to Andrew (Eli Roth) a Live Nation executive, and Nikki (Jane Adams) a record label executive. It is the dialogue between these characters, and the effort put forth by these actors that (Chef’s Kiss) needs to be taught in screenwriting, and acting classes.

    First, the dialogue; it is a train wreck. See, as the narrative has jumped ahead six weeks, a lot has happened that the audience doesn’t know about. Well, don’t worry, Chaim, Andrew, and Nikki will tell us all about it. These three characters stand there and have a “Hey, remember what happened…” conversation, which is so clunky, unnatural sounding, and utilitarian, for it only has one function; to tell us what happened to Jocelyn and especially Tedros. The dialogue feels desperate to get the information to us, like the scene was born out of frustration because no one could come up with a better way to impart the narrative developments. Now, I say this should be taught because, as this show is a visual medium, it’s better to show rather than tell. What we are given are empty words that have no dramatic weight behind them, and the scene gotten through rather than enjoyed.

    But more importantly, the effort put forth by Azaria, Roth and Adams to make this amateurish dialogue seem natural and relevant is nothing short of Herculean. I can only imagine that when these actors were handed the script for this scene, that they had to have known. All three of these actors have impressive credits in productions with great directors and writers; they know what good writing is. But they did it – just went for it. “Damn the torpedoes! I’m committing to the line!” Honestly, I’m not surprised. These are three professional actors. They are getting paid to do a job, and they did their job. And that’s why every acting teacher in America needs to pull out this scene, make their students watch it, and then say to the students, “That is how you commit to a scene!”

    Yeah… THE IDOL is not good – I don’t think I’m breaking any ground here in saying that. But even in bad art, lessons can be learned, and entertainment can be gained. The scene starts at the 50:00 mark. You know, so you can queue it up for your enjoyment, or your class.

  • Personal Review: KUDOS by Rachel Cusk

    (SPOLIERS, but I don’t think you can spoil this novel…)

    I’m a big fan of Rachel Cusk. Ever since I read a piece on her in The New Yorker a while ago, and I think the article was about the OUTLINE Trilogy, I have found her to be a huge inspiration and a fascinating author. She does a great job in fooling me in believing that we are close friends, and the conversations she shares with me, makes me feel smarter. Like all very talented writers, she’s also part magician – conjuring a relationship with the reader that never really existed, and making us feel that we are the only person she is talking to.

    I finished KUDOS, the final novel in the OUTLINE Trilogy last week. All in all, it took me the span of five years to read the three novels. I can understand how a person would argue that this delay in completing the series would be detrimental to my understanding, if not appreciation of the trilogy. Yet, I don’t believe it has. Returning to these books is like visiting an old friend from college. Things pick up right where they left off, no feeling of lost time. And this friend doesn’t try to guilt me for my absence.

    If one were to look up reviews for these books, almost all of them will make references to how these books are a new form, even an experimental version, of what an autobiographical novel can be. Some will even compare the books to Karl Ove Knausgaard’s My Struggle series, which might be applicable. I don’t agree with the comparison, as Karl is overtly autobiographical, while Rachel only hints at autobiography, but clearly has kept her protagonist a fictional version of herself.  Which lead me to start to believe that all the “new form of a novel” was more marketing hype than actual reality.

    Don’t get me wrong. I loved KUDOS, and the other books in the trilogy, OUTLINE and TRANSIT. As I settled in on reading this book, I found the familiar style that Cusk has; this very easy, yet highly intelligent way of writing. She doesn’t speak down to the reader, but it feels that I am being included in the conversations. This time around the author/protagonist is at a writers conference, talking to other writers and people. Again, the persons who occupy this world have no issue, and are very adept at opening up and sharing events, observations and experiences with her. At one point, another writer does point out how odd it is that all the characters in the author/protagonist’s novels have no problem confessing all their sins without much prompting – a sly mete joke Cusk put in her own novel.

    It’s true, people do not speak the way Cusk’s characters do. But, Tennessee Williams’ characters speak in a way that can only exist in the worlds that Williams creates, and as such, I believe that Cusk is casting that same spell. It’s not reality, but it is a world I would like to live in. To speak to a person on a plane about the family dog of theirs that just died, or the tour guide who loves to walk the city, or the other women writers that still have to deal with ex-husbands that intend to do them harm, both physically and emotionally. It’s an unburdening that has no expectations to it. The reader isn’t asked to act, or pass judgment, but just hear and witness that these lives exist. It’s an environment that becomes very comfortable, and enjoyable.

    And in the end, without a climax or even rising action, the book concludes, leaving the feeling of conclusion. That to me is the trick, and an impressive one at that. I have been given a journey, but I am not sure where I have gone, or what, if anything was accomplished. But I know I went some place, I learned, and that must be what is accomplished. And as I ponder on that, maybe it isn’t a gimmick to call these books a new form of novel. There is a different way to tell a story after all.