Inspired by Hopper. Crayon and marker on paper.
Category: Art
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Personal Review: “First Love” by Gwendoline Riley
For the life of me, I don’t remember who or what recommended First Love to me. It was on a list of books that I should read, and when I found a copy of it at the Strand, I picked it up without a second thought, nor having any idea what I was about to get myself into. To be honest, I appreciate the joy and excitement that comes from reading a book that I know nothing about, by an author I also know nothing about, because it does afford me the ability to truly experience a work without any preconceived notions. In this situation, I didn’t even read the description on the back of the book.
First Love isn’t about the “happy” side of love. It’s not about the joy, fulfillment, or really any of the positive side of love. Oh, now and then, that side of love does show up, but on the whole, that’s not what this novel wants to explore. For the protagonist Neve, she shares with us all of people that she first experienced a form of “love” with; her mother, her father, a boyfriend, and her husband. Each relationship is troubled, difficult, in some cases even toxic, and they all overlap on each other, influencing each relationship from actions that happened in the past, and fears of what might happen in the future. For this reason, it is not a traditional novel, and time and events shift – nothing is linear here, but it adds greatly to the theme of these loves bumping and conflicting with each other.
I found myself thinking about the works of Rachel Cusk and Maggie Nelson as I read this book. Riley’s novel tackles a serious subject, but the narrative never becomes weighed down, as it feels like a conversation. As such, this book was akin to the Outline Trilogy, and the examination in Bluets. It felt very internal, that we were being let in to very personal thoughts and exanimations. I will say that though First Love is a new form novel, like Outline, Riley did have a more traditional climax here, which gave the novel a satisfying conclusion.
When I read a book like First Love, I am rather envious of writers like Gwendoline Riley, who create drama and self-examining characters, while never making their stories so personal that it becomes dull of whiney. It’s a bit of a magic trick, that is fun to experience. Thank you, to what, or whomever put this book on my reading list.
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And I Had Been Doing A Good Job (Unedited)
This week, I had a plan. I put it together last week, as I was tired of my day slipping away from me, and not getting the things done that I really had my mind set in accomplishing. Knowing that this issue was caused by me (and if you have read this blog long enough, I often complain about my lack of focus and discipline) I sat down and scheduled when I would journal, when I would blog, when I would work on fiction, when I would read, do errands, shower, walk the dog, eat lunch… yes, I admit I went a little over board, but trusting myself had failed miserably.
The times in my life when I was the most focused and disciplined was when I was working, and especially when I was in management roles. During those periods, I did have to schedule out my whole day, just to make sure that I got everything taken care of. And on the whole, it worked rather well.
This week did start of very well. Monday and Tuesday went completely according to plan. AND I got to bed on time. Then Wednesday was rocky only because there was an unexpected illness in the home, and I do have responsibility to take care of my family. In the end, on Wednesday, I only missed going to the gym, but I accomplished everything else.
And then today, I fell off the wagon.
The day started great, and I was running ahead of schedule. I ordered the flower girl dress that my daughter needs for the wedding she is taking part in this Summer. I called the pediatrician’s office, and made an appointment for the kid, while simultaneously balancing the checkbook. I was on fire, which is why I decided to update and back up my iPhone on my Mac, which also meant updating the iCloud account, and…
Goodbye Morning!
Because once I downloaded the pics off my phone, I had to go through and delete the pictures I didn’t want anymore, which meant going through 5,000+ picture. See, I hadn’t backed up my phone in four years, and I don’t know why I thought this would be a fast process.
(My wife had purple hair in the Pandemic, and she looked very good with it. I found the pictures which remined me of that.)
And then, because I have no self-control, I thought that I would dig out our old Mac Mini and set that up as a hub for the family. About thirty minutes into that project, it finally dawned on me that I had pretty much shot my morning to shit, and if I didn’t stop I would lose the whole day.
So, I am sharing this with you, let’s call it a cautionary tale, as I still want to get something done.
Blog is done.
I still need to journal, work on a story that is killing me to finish, get some reading in, and a sketch. I only have three hours until the kid is out of school.
Wish me luck.
