Author: Matthew Groff

  • The Heat

    I hate hot weather, in general. Sure, on vacation, down near a beach, warm weather is pleasant and fun to be in. Having a little sweat near a pool or the ocean is always acceptable. But what I am talking about is my despisement for hot weather.

    Though I was born in Illinois, I spent most of my childhood, and the early part of my twenties in Texas, which is a place known for hot weather, in case you having been living under a rock, which is a nice place to cool down in Texas. Summer does last from May to, sometimes, the start of October. When I was a kid, it didn’t bother me, it just was what it was – Summer is the hot time of the year. As I got up to high school, the heat really started to bother me, and when I got to my twenties, I hated the heat. The odd thing was that in my twenties, I was doing outdoor theatre in the Texas Summer. Somehow I was okay with that, but I think that had to do with the amount of beer I was drinking.

    Living in New York has been an improvement, though not an escape from the heat. Oh, it’s not as hot here, but living on the water means we get the added bonus of humidity. That is what makes July and August awful up here. Everything is sticky, and the City smells worse for some reason. The silver lining is that by September, things do begin to cool down.

    I say all of this because we have just started the Summer of 2023. The kid’s off of school, and we still have a few weeks to kill before camp and vacations start. Right now, we are all squatting in front of air conditioners, trying not to move, like splooting squirrels.

    I don’t think there is any hope for a person like me on this planet. Things keep getting warmer, and I don’t know how far north I want to move. I think about Vermont and New Hampshire, but the locals there keep telling me that most people can’t handle the winters. Sure, I know they are out to scare the New Yorkers from moving to their state, and mission accomplished. I don’t want to shovel your feet of snow, New England. I just would like a cool place to stay for the Summer.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Women’s World Cup, Sleepovers, and Running of the Interns

    (All this, in ONE place!)

    Another huge, international football tournament is about to begin in 19 days, when the Women’s World Cup gets underway! I’m excited about this, including the fact that USA has another powerhouse of a team, with a very good chance to, again, win the cup. And I say chance because as each tournament has come up, the international competition has gotten better and better. Even though Team USA is ranked number one in the world, Germany and Sweden are coming up fast. In the end, nothing is guaranteed, which only makes the whole tournament more competitive. I have a good feeling that I will be posting about it; either here or on Twitter.

    I am very happy that my kid can now do sleepovers at her friend’s homes. This was one of the last weird Covid issues, but now that we are all vaccinated, sleepovers are on! And my kid is behaving just like I used to – by trying to staying up all night! It’s a terrible idea, but man I use to love doing it. Outlasting my friends, watching all night movies, snacking, and then earning the reward of watching the sun come up and the day starting. Now that I am a parent, it drives me nuts that she won’t go to bed. All of her friends go to bed, but not my kid. She’s too much like her dad.

    As this is the final day of the Supreme Court’s term, we are currently waiting on the final rulings. Thus, we will be getting another “Running of the Interns.”

  • Second Guessing Parent

    I have one kid, and she is an only child. Also, I’m raising my kid in New York City. These are the facts of my situation as a parent.

    I went out of my way to create my own little family in the most opposite way possible from the way I was raised. I grew up in the suburbs outside of Dallas, TX. I had two older brothers, and lived in a modest four-bedroom house with a backyard, and was surrounded by other four-bedroom houses filled with nuclear families raising lots of children. It was a neighborhood that school busses rolled through in the mornings, and was then filled with kids on bikes in the afternoon.

    I know why I live in New York City, because I wanted a career in the performing arts, and this is one of the cities you can do it in. I never wanted to get married until I met the woman who became my wife. And I never wanted kids either, again, until I met my wife, and having a family with her sounded like a wonderful idea, sprouting from the ideal place of commitment and love.

    I don’t regret anything, nor would I change anything, but there are some days that I wonder if our life would be easier, and by effect, would we be better parents, if we raised our kid in the same way we were raised – e.g. growing up in the suburbs?

    There is one running theme in my life, and that is if I am told to go right, I’ll go left. If I’m told to jump, I’ll squat. I seem to go out of my way to do the opposite of what everyone else is doing. Most of the time, to my own detriment. Am I making choices that will have a negative effect on my kid?

    The answer to that is yes. No matter what I do, there will always be unforeseen consequences. There is no right decision, only decision we learn to live with, and accept as positive. I love my parents, but they screwed up a lot with me and my brothers. (We were all stinkers, too, so I don’t blame them.) At the same time, they did most of the important stuff right, and in the end, I wouldn’t change it.

    I guess this is what I’m going for when it comes to my kid; just get the big stuff right.

  • Short Story Review: “Valley of the Moon” by Paul Yoon

    (The short story “Valley of the Moon” by Paul Yoon appeared in the July 3rd, 2023 issue of The New Yorker.)

    (SPOILERS should just be expected.)

    Illustration by Dadu Shin

    “Valley of the Moon” is an exquisite short story by Paul Yoon. Writing a good short story is hard enough, but writing a short story that feels lived in by complicated and authentic people, is pretty damn tough. Yoon takes it a step farther, and creates a story that speaks to the cycles in life, and how meaning remains elusive for some people.

    The story is about Tongsu, a one-eyed man who, after the end of the Korean War, returns to the valley and home he was born in. His family is long gone, but Tongsu repairs the home, and makes his way as a substance farmer in the valley. There is a river that runs through the valley, and a set of rocks that as a child Tongsu was told the moon emerges and crashes down every night – only to repeat the process the next evening. One night, by these rocks, Tongsu is attacked by a man, who Tongsu kills out of self-defense, and proceeds to bury by these stones. Soon, two orphans, and boy and a girl, from a local church come to live with him. Years pass, and then one day a man comes through the valley looking for his uncle that went missing years before, but Tongsu is able to send the man on his way without raising any suspicions. Not long after that, one of the pigs dies, and Tongsu beats the boy for it. This leads to the children running away, leaving Tongsu alone again. Then the story picks up with the girl, Eunhae, now living in a city, working in a hotel, and creating her own life. She is given Tongsu’s phone number through the church, and she calls him. The reconnect, though never discussing the past, and she decides to visit him back in the valley. Things happen, but you can read about it.

    What I loved about this story, and I just latched on to it, was the prose of this piece. It’s third person, with a detached and unemotional way of presenting the story. There is a “matter of fact-ness” to it, almost a simplicity, that keeps to story moving forward, but it never hinders the emotions. I found myself tensing up as the stranger arrived looking for his missing uncle, and also a pure shock of Tongsu snapping one day and beating the boy. And when the conclusion of the story arrives, still in this simple and direct prose, I was moved at how well these pieces played together, and brought me to a feeling that I had truly lived through this experience with these characters.

    And that is the real trick with this story – creating that feeling of cycle, and continuation. I loved how this story was making the point, ever so slyly, how one decision creates new decisions, and how certain choices can never be undone. I also enjoyed how this was a story about fading memories, and what we decide to hold on to, and let go of. All of it coming back to the idea that life continues on, repeating the cycle.

    “Valley of the Moon” by Paul Yoon is the type of short story that makes me love short stories. This is a world that is different from my own; I am presented with characters that are realistic and complicated. There is a plot and a climax that feels organic with the story that’s being told. It all feels so easy and simple, and I know creating a story like this isn’t easy or simple.

  • Busy Morning

    I wouldn’t say that I was dreading today, but I knew I had a lot to do. That was the reason that I didn’t sleep the best. Sure, there was a good/bad late movie on last night, which didn’t help.

    But, today was the last day of school for the kid, and there was a finely dusted glaze of excitement in our apartment this morning. The cusp of Summer vacation was upon us, and the kid was bubbling over with glee to get it all started. For us the parents, we needed to take the appropriate pictures of “The Last Day of School,” so we could compare them to the shots we took on the first day of school. There was a noticeable bit of nervousness in me as we all walked to school. Something about last days that fill me with melancholy and the feeling of saying goodbye to people you’d grown accustom to seeing daily. The kid bounded off with her friends into school. No one really works on the last day – it’s just a fart around day.

    My next task was to take the car in to be serviced. As Summer is almost here, we are about to start our serious driving season – traipsing around the Mid-Atlantic states, and New England as well. I never thought I would be the type of New Yorker who owned a car in the City, yet here I am. And as such, the responsibilities of car ownership are thrown on me – the maintaining of our car which requires that I drive it to the service center on the westside of Midtown. I like to take West End Avenue to get down there, as it’s an avenue, and an area of the City that I am never in. Full of big old apartment buildings that I’m guessing were built in the 1920’s or so. It is a land of doormen, and people who have to go to work, but well to do jobs, because these people have expensive bills. Like I said, it’s a part of New York I never go to, so I always feel like an explorer when I am there.

    Then to round out my morning, I hit up the Trader Joe’s on 93rd. In the mornings, the place is a mix of older people, and people who look like they just got done working out, and aren’t in a hurry to get to work. Usually, I’m in and out rather quickly. I don’t dottle as this isn’t my favorite chore. Today though, 93rd TJ’s music player was ripping it up with some forgotten 90’s rock. Yes! I am now their target demographic, and they are catering to me! About damn time! Awesome choice with the 311 – and maybe I was too harsh to them when they came out! “I Alone”!!! I haven’t heard that song in years. Alive was a great band! Remember Alive? Me either! Because their name is actually Live. Good memory, I have…

    Now home, it’s blog and making a Summer playlist for all the driving that I’ll be doing. Yes, Live and 311 might make the cut. Going to eat lunch and pick the kid up from school. Hopefully the rain will hold off so she can have some park time with her friends. I still have to make dinner, and start planning the rest of her vacation.