Midlife Thoughts

I moved 1,000 lbs of clay today. I needed to do it for my job, and I did have help, but still… I moved 1,000 lbs of clay.

As I was driving the clay across the county in my small SUV, I did have that moment where I had to ask, “How did I get here?”

That’s what the past two weeks have felt like. Honestly, how did I get to where I am?

Is that the call of the mid-life crisis? Is “Once in a Lifetime” the unofficial theme song of these moments. “That’s not my beautiful house! That’s not my beautiful car!”

Does anyone care about mid-life crisis anymore? I read about how people now shit all over “American Beauty” now. Not only because Kevin Spacey is in it, but because it’s about a material successful guy, who buys a sports car, changes jobs, and lusts after a teenager. When you say it that way, does anyone want to see a story about comfortable people who aren’t as comfortable as they would like.

It’s also like he movie “The Land of Steady Habits,” which played like a John Updike or John Cheever story were updated and retold. I liked the movie, but it also functions off of the male midlife crisis trope.

The more I think about it, that seems to be a bunch of stories written by men. That, “I have lost my spark and must reclaim it by behaving the way I did in my past.”

I really hope that’s not what I have to look forward to. I would prefer to regain my spark by moving forward, and not by trying to be that idiot from my past.


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