Tag: Writing Life

  • Rejection

    Tuesday morning is when I go grocery shopping for my family. This chore takes me out of Harlem and to the 93rd Street Trader Joe’s, which means if I do this right, it will take me an hour to do. I listen to music, and read on the subway. It’s personal time for me, so I try to keep it to enjoying things that make me feel better.

    I read on the subway trip down, and had a nice stroll through the UWS to get to the store. Shopping was fine, not too many people. When I got to checking out, I was going to use my phone to tap and pay, when I saw on my screen that I had got an email from a magazine I had submitted a story to.

    Curiosity got the better of me, and I opened the email, knowing that I already knew what the response was going to be, but I still wanted to see it. They were rejecting my story. Like I said, I had a feeling a knew what the response would be. But, clearly I must have looked disappointed, as the woman ringing me up asked, “You okay?”

    I guess I did get my hopes up.

    Even though I told myself not to. Funny how even though I prepare myself for this, I still set myself up. Oh well. I have to come to love every step of the process, even the ugly soul crushing parts.

    I was a theatre major in college, and I had a professor who would say that to us, that you had to enjoy all the steps in the process of becoming a professional, which, according to him, is the only way you will be able to survive the ups and downs of a career in the arts.

    I always thought that advice was bullshit. Who the hell likes being rejected?

    No one likes being rejected.

    But I can see his point. To get accepted, you got to put yourself out there. The more you can enjoy getting out there, the less the rejection stings.

    Well, four down, one more to go, and that will complete my first round of submissions. Then I have to go find another set of magazines to submit to.

    Process keeps on going.

  • Don’t Be a Chicken Shit

    Writer’s groups got brought up again.

    I have a great wife, and she was asking how my writing was going. I said the blog was fine, that I had submitted a story to five different publications, and writing at the library was paying off, as I was getting close to finishing a first draft on a new story. Also, I was finally making time to read again, which was making me feel better about everything.

    Then she asked me about if I had thought anymore about joining a writer’s group. I answered her honestly; I don’t want to.

    I know where she’s coming from, and it is very logical. All of our friends who are professional writers belong to, or run, writer’s groups. They all speak highly about it, and say it has helped them not only with their writing, but also with navigating the business. That and they have made some really good friends in these groups, as well.

    But I still don’t want to.

    Am I being illogical and stubborn? Most likely, yes.

    I am torn between two different thoughts, though.

    The first is that I no longer want to do things for my career that make me feel uncomfortable. See, when I got to New York, I went to everything – opening nights, parties, rehearsals, talks, feedbacks, open classes, and none of it ever helped me. What worked for me, was working hard when I got the job. But if I were to do this, join a group, then that means that I have to put myself out there. I might just be a little chicken shit about that.

    The second thought is that what I am presently doing isn’t working. Right now, I am an unpublished writer who posts a daily blog that if I am really REALLY lucky, four people will read. Come July, I have been doing this for two years, and… not much has really changed. BUT, I feel good about myself, and that’s worth something.

    So, I’m torn. Not sure what to do.

    I prefer the idea of just putting my head down and working hard. But the other one is putting myself out there.

    Balance. I have to find a balance between the two.

    Yuck