Tag: #writing

  • Cop Out

    I tried to write about writing, and you know, it just felt like a cop out. Like I was trying to show that I was doing something, when in reality, I haven’t done a whole lot. I wouldn’t go so far as to say that I was trying to pass off a lie, but it felt insincere. Not authentic.

    Where I am in my day today is that I dropped the kid off at school, walked the dog, went grocery shopping, and I am now trying to put a blog together.

    Going through motions?

    Maybe?

    As I sit on the couch and the wife works at her desk, I think I am trying to validate my worth right now. Trying to create something that I can point at so I can at least say I accomplished something creative. And then I also feel the need to share it. And share it to get validation.

    Is that all that this is boiling down to? I need someone to notice me?

    Maybe I do need someone to say, “Hey, I see you,” to feel like my day has a purpose. I still can’t tell if that is wrong or not. Somedays, it does feel wrong. That I have accomplished nothing, and that I am creating a false reality to have the appearance that I am doing these things.

    I don’t think there is a clean way to make wanting to be the center of attention altruistic.

    Hmmmmm…

  • What’s Next for This Blog?

    I have been writing a post every week day for over a year now, and I enjoy doing it, which was one of the points. Also, in that year, I have quadrupled in followers, views, visitors and likes. Mind you, that means I have gone from one person to four people per post, but still… I intend to continue posting each weekday for another year. That’s the plan.

    The nuts and bolts of this thing is that I am using the Wrodpress.com free blogging tool, and I am aware that this site was really created for people who are starting out building a business website, and not really for people like me; personal bloggers. I know that is why most of my followers are business, and not individuals. (And some might even be BOTS!!!) Either way, I am right now beholden to the “free” perimeters laid down by WordPress.com.

    As I look at my blog page, it is pretty basic and simple, and that was intentional. I didn’t want to spend too much time on it, as I was more concerned with posting. One thought I am having is to pay for the upgrade, get my own URL, and then put up ads, and all those other bells and whistles. On my site, I could have other pages, and lists, and a new theme.

    And that all sounds cool…

    But I’m still not sure if I should do it. I keep coming back to asking myself, why? I can write anything I want right now. So, why do I want to change it up?

    The answer is that I still am not sure what is my goal is.

    I can say that one of my goals is to write, which I am doing. Is it also to publish? Is it to be paid as well? Is it to write fiction professionally? Is it to reach out to more people?

    What I am reminded of is something that my dad says; it’s all talk until you spend money on it. It’s the same thing as saying you have to get skin in the game if you want to win. In this situation, if I want to grow, no matter what direction that is, I’m going to need to make an investment of time and a little money.

    Something to think about.

    Which is good, and I’m talking to the four of you who read this, as I am taking the next week off for a vacation. I’ll be back, not with an upgrade, but a decision. Either way…

    Happy Summer, One and All!

  • Difference Between Midlife Crisis and A New Career?

    I had drinks with a friend last night at a local bar, and I am still amazed/anxious about going to bars, but was happy to do it. The friend and I are close to the same age, have weathered the pandemic with our families, and now that we are on the other side, we are both looking to do things differently with our careers.

    He told me about his endeavors and opportunities that he is hoping break his way. He also informed me that his old career came knocking, and he has been hesitant to jump back in. Going back for him would be lucrative, but it would also mean doing the same old thing and expecting a different result. Fair enough.

    He asked me about what I was doing, and I pretty much gave him the same answer. I think I was a little more blunt by saying, “No more working for or with assholes.” (Which reminds me of a rule/guideline when it comes to interviewing people for a position; If a potential employee tells you that all the people at their last job were assholes, usually that means the potential employee was the problem. So, maybe I was the asshole?) Really, what I meant was no more toxic work environments.

    And as I walked home, a thought came into my head; Isn’t this just a midlife crisis? We are both forty, life hasn’t work out as planned, so we are trying a new career in an effort to get things moving again. The only thing we are missing is a divorce, a sports car, and dating a twenty-year old.

  • The New Blog’s Anniversary

    So, one year ago, while still in the middle of the pandemic, having been laid off from my job, and just barely holding on to any semblance of a normal life, I decided that I would start up my old WordPress blog again, and commit to writing a post five times a week for the next year. And just see what would happen.

    And here I am a year later. The facts are that I went from, if I was lucky, one person reading a post to now having four people reading a post. Previously, I had 60 followers after three years of off and on blogging, to now having 221 followers. I have had seven comments shared over this year, and a bunch of likes. And I also know in the world of online traffic, that this isn’t a blip on anyone’s radar. Don’t get me wrong, I appreciate more than anything that I am not yelling into a void. That people take the time to stop by, like something, does make me feel good, and not so alone.

    When I picked up blogging again, I did want to better myself as a writer, even though I wasn’t exactly sure the type of writer I wanted to be. And honestly, I’m still not sure. But I did know that if I wanted to get better at anything, I had to practice. I had to put in the time, and start doing the work. That meant committing to something, and doing it on days that I didn’t want to do it. And reading over things that I wrote, and admitting that it sucked and I could do better. And slowly, I started to enjoy the work, and look forward to the work.

    So, to the four of you that will see this today, thanks again for stopping by. I have, hopefully, another year of work ahead of me. Let’s see what happens.

  • Personal Review: “Unread Messages” by Sally Rooney

    (The short story “Unread Messages” by Sally Rooney, was featured in the July 12th & 19th, 2021 issue of The New Yorker.)

    When it comes to authors, I am the worst type of fan. I have been following Sally Rooney ever since The New York ran a piece on her, right before Rooney’s second novel, Normal People, was published. I watched Normal People on HULU, but I have ever read a word of her fiction. I collect books, but sometimes never read them. Which I guess does beg the question, can you be a fan of a writer yet never read their writing?

    That changed this week, as I read Rooney’s short story, “Unread Messages” in this week’s issue of The New Yorker. I was actually excited when I saw her name in the table of contents, because I can now read this author.

    It is a story about Eileen and Simon, and their lives together and not together. As what I was expecting from Rooney, the characters are in their late twenties and early thirties, moving from early to middle adulthood. The story was in two sections, relatively. The first was a meet up for coffee between Simon and Eileen at lunch, which they flirt, and Simon asks her for advice on how to deal with a friends odd platonic/romantic entanglement. Then the story shifts back in time, giving the background on the characters, and proceeds to move forward. I feel the first section takes place after the end of the story. It’s not high drama, but it is the story of love and wanting to be loved.

    What I took away most was Rooney’s skill at writing. The words and sentences are short, succinct, and to the point. Nothing feels superfluous, or indiscriminate in the construction of the sentences. This is writing that moves ahead, but doesn’t feel rushed, in the sense that, I felt like I was getting exactly what I needed to know. Which is strange that a character, that plays a supporting role to Eileen, is mentioned as having been admitted to a psychiatric hospital, and then is never brought up again. I found this decision odd and puzzled why it was made? To bring Eileen and Simon closer, but even that felt too simple. And that is how I would describe the story; simple. As in the end, the central question of this story is, “Are they, or aren’t they going to get together?”  

    But it was a beautiful, simple story, written by an author that is very confident in her ability to write.