Tag: Wife

  • Flowers

    Tuesday, normally, I go grocery shopping for the family. I try to shop for the entire week, not that it always works out because I will forget something. To accomplish this errand, and try to save some money, I head to multiple stores, one of them being Trader Joe’s – specifically, the on one 93rd.

    Walking into the store this morning, I saw that the flowers they had out looked particularly colorful, and it had been awhile since I had got the wife flowers. They have those three-dollar bouquets, which are rather small, so I bought two of them. I made sure that each bouquets was made up of different types of flowers, so that I would bring home a variety.

    I did my shopping and when I was checking out the clerk looked at my two bouquets asked, “Are you in trouble?”

    And I was like, “They are for my wife, but she’s having a hard week.”

    “It’s Tuesday.”

    “Been that kind’a week.”

    My wife works very hard, is going back to school, and has to deal with me and a daughter who acts like me. And she is having shoulder pain, which she has seen the doctor about and it is getting better, but it’s still there. Constant pain, even low-grade pain, can take a toll on you and wear you down. And it’s a pain, that no matter how hard I try, I have no power the alleviate. The best I can do is help her relax, and try to make her as comfortable as possible.

    Today, I tried flowers to see if that would help.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Worst Week, Worster Week, Worstist Week, and I Quit

    So, the week started off bad with the Cowboys choking, but at least the Eagles collapse was a much bigger story. One might say that there was little solace in that fact, but they would be wrong – I really enjoyed watching the Eagles lose to Tampa Bay. I am pissed about the Cowboys, but this will be the last I write about it. Just can’t believe that no one showed up to play on that team. Sure, every year I think they will win the Super Bowl (that’s how I was raised) yet in a realistic sense, I thought for sure they would make it to the Conference Championship, and then lose to San Francisco or Detroit; whoever made it there. But enough of that.

    Then my wife hurt her back on Monday.  Now, she is one tough woman, and I have been doing my best to comfort her, but there is nothing I can do to take her pain away. It’s a pretty helpless situation to be in, and that goes for both of us. Slowly she’s been getting her mobility back, but it has been rough going. The whole week got shot to hell for both of us, so it feels like we are running behind, too. I know she will be better soon, and we will get thing back on track, but it’s just frustrating.

    And then the kid had a big test at school that she was positive that she wasn’t going to do well on. It’s a reading and writing test, and she’s not wrong, she is having trouble with writing her thoughts down. Part of this is left over effects from Covid causing school closings, and this is the educational crack she fell into. And unfortunately, many other kids did as well. I helped her prep for the test this week, and she can comprehend and do the work, but she just doesn’t have much confidence in herself when it comes to the test. This was another place that I felt very helpless this week. I was trying to encourage her, build up her confidence, and I even used sports metaphors about how you have to believe and expect to win first, then put in the hard work to be successful. I don’t know… We haven’t got the results yet on the test, so it’s agonizing waiting to hear how she did.

    Finally, to shit out my week, I learned yesterday that a good friend of mine from college died suddenly the night before. There was no warning… they were here and then they weren’t. Logically, it’s been twenty years since I was in college, and unfortunately these things will happen now. That’s a meaningless thing to say because logic in these situations never makes anyone feel better. I hadn’t seen them in close to eighteen years. I hadn’t spoken to them in, like, fifteen years. Hadn’t communicated with them in five, and the last interaction we had was about five months ago when we “liked” each other’s pictures. Just thought there would be one more chance. Like the next time I was in Texas, I would head out to the theatre they worked at, and I would see them. And they would be friendly and kind, and hug, because they were kind. The kindest. They were especially kind to me when I was new in the theatre department, and didn’t know anything. They were kind to help me then, and as I see the tributes on social media, I am hearing again about their kindness, and how wonderful they were to everyone.

  • Back at the Gym

    Okay, I will say that I have been away from the gym for three months. Somewhere in the middle of June I stopped going to work out. The reasons why I stopped going were a bit complicated: The school year was coming to an end, we had a family vacation coming up that I needed to prep for, and I just didn’t feel like going any more.

    Now, I did go to the gym for at least once a week for five months. As the four of you who read this may know, in all that time, I didn’t lose any weight, nor reap the benefits of working out like better sleep, more focus, positive feelings. I still felt and looked like me, just with more sweat and body order.

    So why go back?

    Because I do know that good things happen when you work out, like living longer and shit. I fell off the bandwagon this summer, but I did take into account that I should eat and drink as much as possible if I stopped going to the gym. I had a “Summer of Ice Cream” if that gives you an idea of how I behaved. But, I do want to spend as much time as possible with my kid and wife, and the easiest way to accomplish that is to work out at least thirty minutes a day for three to four times a week.

    Yeah…

    As you can tell, I was never an “eat your vegetables” kind of guy, but I wanted to make the commitment of going to the gym for a year. I will need to come up with some sort of penance for taking that time off, but I would like to follow through all the way to January 2023, and then see where I am at.

    I know what my problem is. Well, I know what two of my problems are. First, I don’t have a clear goal. I just want to stay alive, but that goal has no bench mark to it other than being able to wake up tomorrow. If I actually said something like, I want to lose twenty pounds, or run a 5k, or fit into my old pants and shirts, then that would mean I would really have to work at it, and not do this kid glove thing. The second problem is that I don’t want to admit that I am getting older. That’s really all this is. I’m middle aged, balding and putting on a classic “Dad Bod” gut. I can only buy so many untucked shirts, and stretchy khaki pants, before I give in to t-shirts and sweats. I never had to worry about this stuff before, and now I have to be concerned about weight, health and shit, which only makes me feel older. (Ahh, the classic self-pity middle aged man. Not just for Updike and Roth novels!) I also know that if I don’t want to feel this way, I should either accept who I am right now, or I should make more of an effort in the gym.

    And I just can’t commit to one or the other.

    So, I’ll keep going to the gym, and hope at some point it will click for me, or metaphorically, I will flip the switch and commit to whatever path.

    I mean, I’m paying for the gym, so I might as well go.

    (And if you would like to commit to something, why not commit to giving my blog a like, or a comment, or even share it with your friends. You know, GAINS!)

  • The Return of the Cold

    The wife has a cold, and is laid up in bed today. She was laid up in bed yesterday, too, so I feel like we are repeating ourselves. This cold came from our child. I hate to be like that, but it’s true. The kid was the carrier monkey, as she had this exact same thing a week ago. The kid had a sore throat on the past Thursday night, so we kept her home from school on the next day. About half way through Friday, she was pretty much back to normal. She was still a little groggy, but the sore throat was gone. Today, my wife doesn’t have the sore throat, but she feels like crap. Furthermore, this leads me to believe that I will be sick next week.

    As annoying as all of this is, this is the way life used to be. The kid would go to school, get a cold, then we all would get it in the house. It’s amazing that once we stopped isolating, and wearing a mask, the old cycle of disease has returned. Good or bad, the rhinovirus cycle was a part of the old normal.

    On a small level, it has been rewarding taking care of my wife and kid through their little colds. It’s always nice to be needed, not that they haven’t made me feel needed. It’s nice to take care of something you love.

    The funny part of all of this, is that I started to remember back when I worked in the very toxic office, how I would look forward to getting sick, so I wouldn’t have to go in to work. When I would get that first weird feeling of being rundown, I would celebrate a little in my mind. Yet again, another sign that I should have quit that job sooner. You live, you learn.