Tag: #Wife

  • Having a Family

    I didn’t always want to be a parent. At first, it felt like something that I had to do, or was inventible. And then when I went away to college, I started to think that being a parent wasn’t for me. The fact that I wanted to go into the arts made me feel like I couldn’t be counted on to provide. And then I met my wife, who was open with me, that one day she would want to be a mother. Not that it had to be with me, or that we had to agree on it right now, but it was important to her. I did come around to wanting to become a father, and a parent with her. Not that it didn’t scare the shit out of me, and still does, but the change was that I wanted to do it, even though it was scary.

    I think there is a big difference in wanting to do something and it scares you, and that thing scares me and I don’t want to do it.

    That is also why I am completely understanding people who don’t want to have kids for that reason; I don’t want to do it. If you have taken the time to search your soul, and that is the answer you came up with, Great! And if you have never spent any time thinking about it, and that is also you’re conclusion, Super Great!

    Because we all know the horrible truth of this world; there are people out there who should not be parents, or they became parents for the wrong reasons. And in those situations, the kids are the ones who sufferer, and for no fault of their own.

    Yes, I know there are people out there that learned to love being a parent, but that’s an awful gamble with a kid’s wellbeing.

    I say all of this because, it was a hard-parenting weekend with my daughter. Arguments, and tears, and misunderstandings, and some pretty selfish behavior. It was not fun. What it was, was a whole lotta work. And come this morning, I was tired, and sore for some reason.

    But then, I walked the kid to school, and she asked me if we could play Legos this afternoon, and listen to music.

    And not that it made up for the difficult weekend, but it reminded me of why I wanted to be a parent. Even though it is scary as shit.

  • That Other Anniversary

    And I happen to have another anniversary this week. Today is my ten-year wedding anniversary. I am a little surprised that I have been married for ten years. It did go by rather fast. I never thought that I would get married in the first place, so to get to this place, I guess does show that the two of us made the right call.

    The truth is that most of our anniversaries haven’t had the best celebrations attached to them. Our first anniversary was pretty great as we took a week in Vermont to celebrate. And then after that, it’s been pretty hit and miss. One year, the wife was out of work and money was pretty tight, but we still went out at the local restaurant down the block; nothing fancy. Another year, my wife was pregnant, so no alcohol silliness for either of us, nor oysters. After the kid was born, that anniversary celebration was a babysitter, and an afternoon movie. We also don’t do big gifts. Most of the time it’s Ben and Jerry’s Ice Cream on the couch laughing at something on TV.

    But neither of us complain about it. I could be all cute and sentimental and say that the kid is our wonderful anniversary gift, but that would be a lie. The kid makes us a family, which is awesome, but I married my wife because I like spending time with her, and she’s smart and makes me laugh, and is fun.

    She’s still fun after all of this time.

  • Covid Blues, But My Wife Rocks

    Just going to brag about my wife for a second…

    She was hired today, for a fulltime job with benefits. She busted her ass and found a job in the middle of a pandemic. It has made life easier for all of us, and we can take a little breath of relief. Maybe only for a second, but it feels like the first breath we have been able to take in five months. I’m very proud of of this amazing woman.

    It has been such a insane and unpredictable nine months for us. From leaving California, and reestablishing ourselves back in New York, only to have Covid pull the rug from out from everyone. There was no way to predict any of this.

    To be honest, I never thought there really would be a pandemic. From the way the world treated SARs and Ebola, even N1H1, it just seemed to me that the we knew how to work together and fight a contagious disease. I really felt like science and logic were winning over ignorance. Little did I know that stupid is stronger than I thought.

    And with all of this, how will we tell this story of disease? That is the question I keep hearing from my artist friends… if we survive. How will this affect the way we tell stories, and how we share this common experience? Only time will tell.