Tag: Trader Joe’s

  • Earworm Thursday – Grocery Shopping and Past Roommates

    So, I was shopping at the Harlem Trader Joe’s on Tuesday, and they were playing a reggae mix in the place. Then this one came on. I don’t mind having this one stuck in my head nonstop. See, I had a roommate way back in Texas, who was a huge Bob Marley fan. We listened to a bunch of reggae music together, hanging out and playing video games.

  • The MTA Gods

    Oh! How the MTA gods have forsaken me!

    It was only to be a minor trip. An expedition to the 93rd Street Trader Joe’s.

    A goodly visit to precure sustenance for myself and my family. To feats vastly not only for this week, but for the conclusion of the week when the Bowls are Super.

    But low, my hubris caught up with me. The flaw was tragic, the results ordained by Oracle of the IRT. For I, though humble in my ways, forgot to leave the sacrificial offering of Beam in the Holy Shot Glass on thy fire escape, thus anointing me, and allowing my transits to be good.

    Neigh, as the sacrifice was forgotten, so was the transit ruined. The signals of 59th refused to obey thy will of the conductor, and thusly the trains ground to a halt.

    No, this was not an incapacitated passenger, not a police investigation. Nor was it the, not as rare as you think, fire on the tracks.

    This was green, yellow, and red lights escaping to the realm of “No Power,” and leaving New York City at a standstill. Well… At least the Upper West Side.

    It was I, stuck at the 96th Street Station, with three heavy and bulging bags of well-earned groceries, that was stuck for almost an hour, waiting on a C Train. I could have been happy with a B even – I could have made that work.

    But I, fortune’s fool, who forgot his sacrifice, was punished by the MTA gods. BMT and the Lexington Line punished me by blowing up my schedule. Not allowing me the time to do my work.

    Learn, dear ones, from me. Never let the cold, or the hour of night, delay you bourbon offering for good and safe travels. Because if you forget, the MTA never will.

  • Masks and Coverings are Optional Now

    You know how, sometimes, your day will start, and you feel quite assured that you know the direction you will be heading. And then something unexpected happens, and you get sent in a whole new direction? I am sure that has happened to you, and today it happened very much to me.

    See, I was heading out to do the grocery shopping, which takes me down to the Trader Joe’s at Columbus and 93rd. It’s the closest one to our apartment in Harlem, and to get there I have to take a downtown local to 96th. I have been doing this for two and a half years now, so I have this route down. I know the best times to hit the stations to catch a train, and the best place to be on the platform to get in a relatively empty car.

    Now, the governor last week lifted the mask mandate on public transportation, so there are no more COVID restrictions in the City. So, when I decided to go run my errand down to the 93rd Trader Joe’s, I thought that this would be a good opportunity to ride the subway mask-less and write about what my experience was like. You know, blog stuff.

    I headed out for my local station. It was a cool morning that was also stupidly humid. I’m talking Miami or Houston at the height of Summer. Like you clothes just stick to you the second you walk out the door. I’m feeling a little gross, but hey, it’s the end of Summer around here. Fall will show up any day now.

    I walk down the staircase from the street to get to the subway station, and there was a guy taking a leak on the stairs. He had no shame. He made eye contact with me and nodded. I don’t think he was drunk or high, just a rough around the edges gentleman who needed to relieve himself. But, being that he had no shame, his penis was on full display.

    Sadly, a guy taking a wiz in NYC is a rather common observed action. It is truly frowned upon by society, but I have a feeling that public urination was a problem for the Dutch, and it will remain a problem for this town going forward. It’s annoying, and people like that guy do make NYC not the best place to live, but I wasn’t about to stop what I was doing to yell at the guy. I had places to be.

    Anyway, I catch the train down to 96th, and get off. And as I am walking down the platform headed toward the stairs, unfortunately, there was a homeless person sleeping on the bench down there, with a granny cart filled with items and clothing. The Mayor is claiming they are cleaning up and helping the homeless that call the subway home, but they really aren’t. I just went along my way up the stairs.

    And at 96th, if you don’t know, it’s a stacked station, meaning that the downtown tracks are on the lowest level. Above them are the uptown tracks with the turnstile entrance and MTA booth. From there you take the stairs up to the street.

    I’m coming up the stairs to the uptown level, and I see lots of clothes spread on the uptown platform. My first thought is that these clothes must belong to the homeless guy sleeping on the bench. But when I get to the top of the stairs, and head for the turnstiles which lead to the MTA booth, and the street level stairs, there’s a naked guy on the other side of the turnstile in front of the MTA booth. And he’s a big naked guy. Taller than me. With his penis hanging out.

    Oh, the guy in the MTA booth was doing a heroic job of saying, “Sir. Sir. Sir!” It was like a Meisner acting exercise, with the “sir” taking on a new inflection every time the MTA guy yelled.

    And for a very fast second I thought, I could make it past this guys. I could squeeze through the turnstile, and avoid this guy touching me. I mean, he was naked, so I knew he wasn’t hiding anything.

    Then New Yorker Matt reappeared. “Yeah, fuck this.” I started to turn to go back down the stairs for the other exit that was further down the platform.

    But before I could get on my way, the naked guy yelled at me, “Could you thrown me my clothes?”

    “No, man.” I said. Honestly, he could easily just jump the turnstile and get his clothes himself. I mean, he was already in trouble, skipping a fare was the least of his concerns.

    So, yeah. I saw a whole lot of penis today. Wasn’t expecting that. And I would like to add, still not the weirdest situation I have been in on the subway.

    (And, you should like this blog post. Also, feel free to share it, and if you have a story about the MTA, please share it in the comments.)

  • Coronavirus in NYC: Trader Joe’s Edition

    Again, 24 hours later and things have changed yet again in New York.

    I wouldn’t say there are a great number of people out in gloves and masks, but they are now clearly present wherever you go in the City.

    When I took the kid to school this morning, it was clearly noticeable that other students were absent, as parents were keeping their kids home. Also, the school was eerily quiet. It was a very rainy and cold morning, but even still, that school usually is boiling over with exuberance and energy in the mornings

    The wife and I both feel that it is only a matter of time before NYC will close all of the schools. As such, we might need to hunker down in the apartment for a couple of days. Which meant, we had to go grocery shopping to stock up.

    We are taking this seriously, but not THAT seriously. Not panic shopping over here.

    We headed down to the Trader Joe’s on West 93rd, but before we went over there, we ran some other errands, and walked around that part of the City, as we are rarely over there. Either way, by the time we got to the Trader Joe’s, there was a line out the door, that did wrap around the block. This wasn’t our first “end of the world, let’s go to Trader Joe’s” shopping experience. We dealt with Superstorm Sandy, and the Kincade Fire in California.

    So, we got in line, and it did move rather quickly. (Trader Joe’s does know how to handle a large crowd.) When we were in the final stretch of the line so we could get in, the wife and I noticed that people were taking pictures of the line. Clearly to prove to the rest of the world what happens on the UWS when shit gets real. So, being the mature and stoic people that we are, we attempted to make the most revolting faces that we could when we saw someone taking a picture.

    You’re welcome interwebs…

    It took about an hour and a half to grocery shop, which normally it takes us an hour, (See; Trader Joe’s knows how to handle a crowd.) and the people in there were all behaving normally for New Yorkers. To me that says, people are being cautious about all of this, and not panicking.

    Now, every day this week, things have changed, and not for the better. Sadly, I’m not hopeful for things getting better. I mean, it will get better and we’ll all get through this, but we haven’t hit that turning point just yet.

  • Coronavirus: Observations in NYC

    I know that earlier today the WHO officially called coronavirus a pandemic, and again, not too surprised nor too worried about it. I am following all the suggestions, and I am washing my hands, keeping sanitizer on me, and trying to limit my exposure to large groups. Also, I am trying to eat healthy, exercise, and get a good night’s sleep as well. Trying to be healthy all around.

    I did have to run some errands today in the City, and I was limited to Harlem and the Upper West Side, but this is what I observed:

    The number of people on the streets in Harlem seemed normal, such as, not smaller than would be expected for the time of day I was out.

    On the subway, I did see people in masks. Now, people have always tried to put as much space between them and others when riding, so again, people looked to be behaving normally.

    I was around the Lincoln Center area, and people looked normal going about their business.

    I stopped off at a Trader Joe’s, and the store was out of toilet paper, paper towels, and ice cream. The ice cream I get; you’re stuck in doors watching, or catching up, on your shows. Binge watching leads to binge eating. I get it. The paper towels and toilet paper thing still blows my mind, as in why hoard that? I first read about these shortages in Seattle on BuzzFeed, and I thought how odd. I had no idea that a run on toilet paper could be the carney in the coal mine for coronavirus.

    Other than that, all seems normal in NYC.