Tag: The Simpsons

  • ODDS and ENDS: I’m a Failed Drummer, Failed Tottenham, and We Sell Frogurt!

    ODDS and ENDS: I’m a Failed Drummer, Failed Tottenham, and We Sell Frogurt!

    (I thought it was the real thing…)

    I have got drumming on the brain again. I posted about Blondie’s “Heart of Glass” and I can’t get Clem Burke’s drums out of my head. I don’t like hyper-precision drumming, or supper fast and accurate drumming, which is what everyone sounds like now. It sounds lifeless and artificial to me. But Clem; Clem on that song is vital – adding another character to the song – driving, passionate, and accentuating theme of the song. And what I am most thankful for is to be a failed drummer. See, as one who sat behind a drum kit, and tried his hand at playing for a rock band, I learned two things; first is that drumming is a shit ton of fun, and second is that great drumming is exceptionally difficult. It has made me appreciate what great drumming on a song can do, how it can transform a song into something that isn’t just fun to listen to, but can ingrain itself into the core of what a song can make you feel. And just listening to Clem, man, I would kill to be able to play like that.

    Oh it’s bad. I mean, I didn’t think it could get much worse, but it did. Spurs melted like snow on warm ground against Crystal Palace yesterday – it was just awful to watch. Embarrassing is another word that I would use. I know the seasons isn’t over yet, and the odds are still on their side that they WON’T get relegated, but Sonny over at Sonny Talks Spurs has a rather different take than me, but not by much. I have been following the club for ten years now, and I had no idea that that 2016/17 was their high water mark. Ever since then, it has been a slow slide, or car wreck, or train wreck, or growing dumpster fire, what have you… I’m used to supporting a team that lives at the bottom of the barrel (I am a Cubs fan after all) so, seeing a team you love fail isn’t exactly new to me. But this is the first time that I have supported a sports team that gets kicked out of its league because its so bad. Chalk one up for a new experience, I guess.

    For no other reason than it makes me laugh.

  • Earworm Wednesday: My Kid Hates this Lumbering Song

    I will give you bonus points if you remember “The Midnight Special” TV series.

    It’s a kitschy song in my opinion, but the main riff is pretty cool, and does get stuck in my head easily. Also, that’s the reason my kid hates this song – her dad wanders around the house humming it, and it just drives her crazy.

    But I know that I’m not the only one who loves that riff…

  • DIY Home Remolding Videos

    I used to watch HGTV for all the remolding shows. I will stress the word “used to” because after a few weeks, I noticed that all the shows were the same in their structure, and they didn’t show you how to improve anything in your home. Such as every HGTV show had the same reality tv plot wherein half way through the show, the hosts discovered some huge “whatever” that would cost way more money to fix, and then they had to call the client and get their reaction, and decide what to do next. But no matter what the issue was, it all worked out, and Joanna put a huge “LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE” sign up on the wall. Oh, and they only thing I learned about fixing my home was to hire a good contractor.

    All of this has now lead me to watching YouTube videos. At first, I was looking for clips that would help me patch a hole in the wall, or install trim, or build a built-in. But, the Algorithm caught on to me, and started pushing all these renovation videos on me. Like, “we bought a school building in the country and turned into our dream house” type videos. Or “I bought a row house in Boston, and am fixing it up with my girlfriend and our dog.”

    I won’t lie, late at night, these videos suck me in. Not so much the people, or their story, or how they did it all (though I wish they would go into more of those details), but I get sucked into their home renovation ideas, and I try to figure out if that would work in my apartment. See, I have a mudroom area, and a place for a built-in buffet/bookshelf but I can’t figure out how to make it work…

    As I have watched more and more of these renovation videos, I have started to notice, especially the ones that are a long series, that they all kind’a do the same thing. They all have a time-lapse video of their demo, or a time-lapse of the contractors doing something, with a jangly guitar underscoring it. Or, they do this confessional thing where the “admit” that they might have bit off more than they can chew, and the whole project might fail.

    But it never does.

    They always figure out a solution, or they pay more money to the contractor who figures out a solution. Yeah, it’s all rather cliché.

    Or to put it another way…

    Once, you know, I’d like to see someone just throw in the towel; They can’t do it, it’s just too expensive, or they settle. Sure, that wouldn’t be a very interesting video, but it sure would be a cautionary tale for all of those middle-aged guys out there, that have no experience at home improvement, but think they can do it because they watched a video at 1am.

  • Parent/Teacher Day

    It’s Parent/Teacher Day and my kid’s school!

    You know who’s excited about Parent/Teacher Day? My daughter! She dressed me up for it. She wanted me in a sportscoat, and I was happy to oblige her. Instead of having this meeting at night, which I feel is normal for most schools, our school decided to hold this meeting in the day, so the parents could see the kids… you know, in their natural environment?

    For the record, anytime the Parent/Teacher Meeting comes up, I tell the kid that if she’s good, she will get pizza for dinner, and if she’s bad then it’s poison. Then she saw that episode of The Simpsons, and now she gets my joke. She also thinks I’m not that original.

    The meeting was fine. The kids were well behaved, and I like the kid’s teachers as they do a very good job, and the kid loves them. We were shown the progress they have made in their subjects, and what we can do as parents to help them with their school work. All in all, it was a cute hour to spend at her school.

    As I was leaving the school, just walking down the street, I had one of those moments where it washed over me how much “parent” defines my life. Most days I don’t feel like a parent, more like a pretend parent making it up as I go. I am aware that most other parents feel the same way, and in fact, the world is made up of half-assed adults faking their way through parenthood. (It really is a wonder that human civilization has developed as well as it has, being that everyone is faking it…) But on a day like today, I felt like “I am parent,” instead of “I’m trying to be a parent.” That doesn’t mean I feel confident as a parent, just that “I am” one.

    Does that make sense?

  • Goodnight Springton! There Will Be No Reviews!

    Yeah, I tried my best, but this week just had it out for me.

    There will be no reviews this week.

    Which is annoying as I had several pieces in the hopper that I just haven’t read yet.

    Such as:

    When She Falls by Louise McGuinness, from Milk Candy Review

    Mr. Mollusk by Didi Wood, from Okay Donkey

    An Excerpt from “Howling Women” (Shelby Hinte), from Rejection Letters

    BOZO by Souvankham Thammavongsa, from The New Yorker

    Hopefully, I will get them read, and feel free to check them out yourself.

    If it helps, here’s a picture of my dog back from the groomers, contemplating if free will is an illusion.