Tag: #Superhero

  • Personal Review: Batman Movies (1989 to 1997)

    My daughter is very big into superhero movies right now. Not sure how long this will last, but for now, I am happy to indulge her fandom. We have been through all the MCU movies, and we even did Superman (1978) and Superman II (1980), but pretty much fell off from the rest of the DC Universe. Then about two weeks ago, one of the kids at the playground was playing “Batman” and my daughter asked if there are any Batman movies. Well, it was time for my kid to learn about the wild world of Batman from 1989 to 1997; Batman, Batman Returns, Batman Forever, and Batman & Robin.

    Batman (1989): Out of these four movies, undoubtedly the best, and I would add that without this movie, there would have never been an MCU. It pretty much started the “serious” superhero movie. I will add that Michael Keaton is my favorite Batman. Sure, it might have to do with the fact that I saw this movie three times in the theater over the summer of 1989. The kid liked it, but didn’t get how Batman and the Joker “made” each other. I still have an issue with the Joker being able to shoot down the Batwing with one bullet. Either the Joker is a great shot, or the Batwing has some serious defects.

    Batman Returns (1992): The first question the kid asked as the movie started was if Joker was going to be in this one. I think that bodes well that Jack was a great Joker. For me, it felt like Burton was more interested in the villains than Batman, such as Batman was an afterthought. The kid liked it but wanted to know how Catwoman got her cat powers; magic, tech, or mutant? I’m not really sure. I will say that this movie does have a very slight touch of campy to it, which was a harbinger for the rest of the series.

    Batman Forever (1995):  The kid did not like it. She didn’t understand why Robin was a superhero, nor know who Two-Face was, and why The Riddler became an evil supervillain? Also, she really could not follow what the story was. For me, and I like Val Kilmer, but it seemed like Val was taking the role serious, and everyone else was camping it up. It also had a James Bond feeling of an ending, whereas the good guy goes to the secret lair to defeat the henchmen and the bad guy in a huge set that blows up. The movie was going in several different directions, never feeling like there was a cohesive style throughout. And then there was that “Bat Butt” shot, that my kid picked up on and laughed, and laughed, and laughed, and laughed…

    Batman & Robin (1997): Well… you know. It’s a mess, but we all know it’s a mess. About thirty minutes into the picture, my kid asked me if we had to finish it. Yes, I said, because this will make you a funnier person! Watching the movie, I don’t think there was a single idea that was shot down, everything went in it. And the puns. This movie might be the reason I hate puns so much.

    Now that we are done with these Batman movies, that will be it for the time being. The Christopher Nolan Batman movies are great, but just too adult for the kid right now. She needs to the good guy to win without question, but she is now beginning to understand that some movies are good, and some movies are bad. What I really hope happens next is that she learns to love bad movies.

  • Tales from the Video Store: Guardians (2017 Russian Film)

    If you are not aware, I do love bad movies. And Amazon Prime has become a goldmine for me when it comes to finding new awful films to watch. With their feature “Customers Also Watched” for movies which can lead me down a rabbit hole of amazing horrible bad movies.

    That’s how I got to “Guardians,” a 2017 Russian superhero movie that no one should ever confuse for anything associated with Marvel, or DC for that matter. I had actually thought it was one of The Asylum’s mockbusters, such as a rip off of “Guardians of the Galaxy.” Nope, I got something even more culturally rewarding.

    This “Guardians” is not only a bad superhero movie, but it is a bad Russian superhero movie that bombed in Russia. It’s like an added bonus that it’s disliked in two countries.

    It’s not really an awful idea for a movie. The superheroes are created but the Soviets during the cold war, with the lead scientist going crazy. The scientist blows something up, and everyone goes into hiding. (That’s the not so awful part; the Soviet thing, but I have a feeling the “Black Widow” movie this year will tell a better story… I digress…) Then years pass, the evil scientist returns, and so the superhero band has to be put back together. Stuff blows up, and the end. We got a guy who controls rocks… sure, why not. The super assassin guy, a dude who turns into a bear (Russian after all) and a women who disappears when she gets wet, or touches water.

    Oddly, no one flies, which means they were always dependent on a ride if you think about it.

    Not a very original film, and the worst part, besides some really awful special effects, is the montage of the band getting back together. The Rock guy is the one who goes out to collect everyone. So, each character gets a moment of showing how they have been using their abilities since breaking up. And after they get done demonstrating their abilities, usually meaning something blew up in slow motion, the Rock guy is there, right off camera to have some witty comment, which surprises that other hero.  It’s like no one sees the Rock Guy coming, ever.

    Either way, it’s a terrible/wonderful awful hour and a half of pretty much cliched superhero stuff from the other half of the world. I was left thinking that since this movie is generally hated in its home country, then maybe Americans and Russians are not that different after all.