Tag: #StayathomeParent

  • Playing with Dolls

    So, we are doing the remote school thing for my daughter. It is not idea in anyway, but we are making the best out of it, and we do have a really good teacher we all like.

    Today, we ended up have a long break between video classes, and the kid wanted us to play something together. Let’s play with my Barbies, was what my daughter suggested, and ever since she turned five, this has been a common request. I am happy to oblige in the make believe. I mean, I’ve played spaceship, pirates, and she has endulged me with making a few puppet shows. All of this to me falls under the respobilities of being a father.

    As we were playing with my daughter’s dolls, a memory shot back into my mind that I had completely forgotten about. I remembered being about eight years old, riding my bike through the neighborhood with some other friends on a random day after school, and my friend Kevin told me that this one kid who lives up the street, this kid plays with Barbies. I remembered the shock and feeling embarrassed for this boy. That this boy had crossed some social line, and it must be a huge secret this boy was trying to hide. That this kid had some huge burden on him. But I don’t remember anyone ever bring it up to this kid. It was just a known secret.

    I don’t remember when boys playing with dolls stopped being a big deal. I know in high school it wasn’t an issue anymore, as the group I hung with were all outcasts, artists, and theatre people, and being different was celebrated, and valued. I think nowadays, people would be shocked if a parent took dolls away from their son who wanted to play with them.

    Maybe, there has been some progress against toxic masculinity.

  • Covid Confession

    This has been a tough and trying day. Nothing really has gone the way any of us have expected.

    Except for the laundry. I got the laundry done on time.

    Today is the wife’s official first day at her new job. Being that she is still working at home, it doesn’t feel like too much has changed.

    We are down to the final 10 days before the kid starts school. And again, as she will be learning from home. It won’t be an enormous change, as she was learning from home in the Spring, so that doesn’t feel like it will change anything.

    Me, on the other hand, each day is pretty much the same. So, not much has changed there.

    Which means we all feel rather stuck. And it isn’t too hard to believe that. We have been doing the lock down for five and a half months now.

    No end in sight. Just plugging away.

    Ahhh…

    When I wake up in the morning, I do have this feeling of dread that there is this mountain of things that I have to get done, and also at the same time, I have the feeling that there is no way I will get them done.

    But I have to make sure the kid is okay, and that the wife is being supported, as she is the bread winner now and going to school at the same time, which is a huge burden/responsibility that can completely stress her out. She’s a good wife and mother.

    I just keep hoping that things will get better; at less stressful.

    One day…

  • Gotta Have Writing Goals

    I am still trying to make the best out of this pretty bad situation. Well, a shitty situation. I have no reservations with moving into the “stay at home parent” role, as that’s what the situation calls for. One day, I might return to work out of the home, but I’m trying not to plan too far ahead with anything. And at the same time, I have to have something to work on and move towards; a goal.

    I am working on two writing projects; this blog, and the novel.

    When it comes to blogs, this is, I think, my third or fourth attempt at one in the past fifteen years. This one, though I haven’t been the most frequent or dedicated blogger, is the only one that has stuck. Keeping everything short to just 250 words has provided a good structure to work within. It is teaching me to be concise and clear in my story telling.

    As for the novel, that does give me something long term to work on. This is the fourth novel that I have written, and by saying that, I have every intention of completing it. Publication is a different story, but for now, just having a goal of starting and finishing something seems to be the most important thing while living in this world of never ending Covid.

    What I find myself thinking about is what my grandmother used to say to me growing up; that you gotta have a goal, something to look forward too. Right now, I can see very clearly that grandma was right. She did grow up during the Depression, so I think she knew what she was talking about.

  • Steal That Time to Write

    Last night I was able to get about 500+ words done on the novel. (My goal is 1,000 words a day, but that might be too ambitious.) I had to steal moments to get it done while I was making dinner. The brussel sprouts were sautéing, and I added a paragraph; that sort of thing. It was very scattered, but I am trying to finish a first draft; it doesn’t have to be perfect.

    It reminded me a conversation I had with a playwright friend of mine about setting aside time to write. He is a married father of two, both kids under 10. He is a stay at home dad, but that position does not afford him any additional time to write, as any stay at home parent would tell you.

    What my friend told me was that before kids, he wrote anytime he felt like it. Now, as a stay at home parent, he had moved into a system of taking notes when an idea hit him, and then having to find the time in his schedule to write out the idea. He actually felt it made him a better writer. As he told me, he might only have one hour to work a day, so he knew that if wanted to get his idea accomplished, he had to focus and use every minute of that hour.

    Not that I am at that point, but I am beginning to find this to be solid advice.