Tag: Stay at home Parent

  • ODDS and ENDS: Blame the Mother, Khaki Pants, and Things I was Wrong About

    (Sugar Ray say…)

    Last night I was having drinks with a friend, and old friend from high school, so we have known each other forever. We got on the topic of parental roles, as she feels that as a mother, she inevitably always gets blamed by her kid for everything. (Our kids are pretty close in age.) I don’t think she’s wrong, mom’s do take the brunt of blame, at least that’s what my mom claimed all the time. But, I wondered if one’s parental role plays a factor? My friend and her husband both work, and split equally parenting their kid; both cook, clean, do laundry, do homework, go to playdates, and dance classes…etc. While in our household, my wife works, and I take care of the kid and home. So, I feel like I take the brunt of blame from the kid, which I attribute to spending the most time being with the kid on a given day. As such, our discussion fell along those lines; is parental blame due to gender roles, or quantity of time spent with the kid? I don’t think there is a clear answer to this other than when our kids do something right, the first person they thank is always mom.

    I have to buy khaki pants soon. The pants have seen better days, as I purchased them right before Covid. (Because Covid is a designation of time, and not just an event.) I used to never own khaki pants. Like, went out of my way not to own any. I think it was due to those stupid GAP swing dancing commercials in the 90’s. (I wonder how many of those people in that commercial are now teaching dance classes?) Then I job a job, and I started wearing a tie, and a sports coat, and I got khaki pants to go along with the whole thing. Now, I have the same number of khaki pants as I do jeans. Funny how life changes you.

    Speaking of which…

    I can admit now that I was wrong about a couple of things:

    1. Sugar Ray
    2. The Texas Rangers this Season
    3. Jasper Johns

  • Only a Minute for a Blog (Unedited)

    I just can’t on a rainy day. And it’s been raining for three days, and odds are that we will get a fourth. I would give anything to curl up on the couch and read for the rest of the day… But not in the cards. I will keep drinking coffee, though.

    I only have a minute to squeeze in a blog today, and this is that minute.

    And with this fast minute, I will tell you that the guys working on the condo towner behind my building are working in the rain. No one looks like they are in a good mood, but come to think of it, I don’t believe I have ever seen a person working at a construction site who looks happy.

    But the construction worker’s life and cranes keep beeping non-stop. It’s like they are perpetually backing up forever. We aren’t getting the sounds of saws, or hammering, or screw guns; nope, it’s eight hours of back up beeps. Like an audio torture. I can only wonder how long this can go on for, but I know that all things must end.

    Thus, the day I am forced with. Mondays are always challenging being that it is the start of the week, and if there was a day to set the tone for the week – then that is Monday. It is rainy, cold, gray, and beeping. In nine minutes, I have to take lunch out of the over, and feed myself and my wife. This is meatless Monday, as prescribed by our daughter, and we will be enjoying black bean taquitos from Trader Joe’s. And if I might add, this is also fiction-less Mondays as well. I normally don’t get a chance to write fiction on Mondays. I keep feeling this is a situation that I could correct, but I haven’t been able to for over a year.

    Sadly, have to go. More later…

  • ODDS and ENDS: Feeding My Family, North London Derby, and David Brooks Didn’t Want to Catch His Flight

    (So remember… How amazingly unlikely is your birth;)

    I’m a stay at home dad; a primary care giver to my daughter and wife. It was a job that I was asking for, but now that I have accepted it, I do enjoy it. There is one aspect of this position that I am still surprised by, and that is the amount of time I now spend thinking about meals for my family. I have enjoyed cooking since back in my college days. My roommate and best friend got me a wok for a birthday gift one year, and that honestly was one of the best gifts I ever received. Not only did I enjoy cooking with that wok, but it also started me on a food journey. Furthermore, I was very lucky that my wife is a trained chef and pastry chef as well – which is like winning the lottery, if you’re wondering. She has been a great inspiration and guide for me as I discover and try new foods and preparations. Though I do the majority of cooking, she can still drop in the kitchen and knock it out of the park when she feels inspired. Anyway… Most days I do triple duty by making breakfast, lunch and dinner, and as such I try hard not to repeat flavors and textures in a day, or even following days. Most of the time it feels like a Tetris puzzle that I have to fit tightly together, appeasing all pallets. It can be challenging, but the reward of keeping the people I love feed is deeply satisfying.

    You better believe that I am going to write about Tottenham Hotspur! This Sunday is the North London Derby – Arsenal vs Tottenham. Yup, Arsenal will be the first true test for Tottenham’s manager, Ange Postecoglou, to prove he has turned this team around. In Spurs first six matches, they have only played one team that is in the top half of the table. Also, they are giving up an average of one goal a game, so this is a team that, on paper, hasn’t played stellar football. That’s where Arsenal comes in, as this will be a game on the road for Tottenham in the very unfriendly Emirates Stadium. If you wanted to have a statement match, this is it. I do like what Postecoglou has done by making this team more aggressive, and controlling the ball. Madison has been a great addition in the midfield creating many great passing opportunities for Son, Solomon and Kulusevski. Also, Richarlison finally scored a goal last week, which hopefully was his coming out, and will get him more chances up front. But the defense is what makes me worried. Arsenal doesn’t let up, and they clearly are gunning to dominate the League and give City a run for the title. Lots is a the line, which will probably make the match a chippy one!

    Did you catch David Brooks Tweet the day before? It’s more silly and tone deaf than anything – but the gist of it is that he was trying to make a correlation between his “expensive” $78 lunch at Newark Airport and America’s inflation issues. But if you look closely at the picture, you can see that there is a glass of scotch/whiskey/bourbon(?) which is the main reason why his $78 lunch was $78. Some internet sleuths were able to find out that the burger and fries was a combo meal costing $17, and that a top shelf drink was close to $25, which logically would mean that David had two drinks. Two drinks in the afternoon before a flight? See, my question here isn’t about Brook’s fake outrage over his costly lunch, but what’s on the other end of that flight that he isn’t eager to deal with?

  • What Am I Waiting For?

    I’m in a hurry!

    That’s what today has felt like.

    I haven’t gone fast enough to get anything done.

    I had to make breakfast for the kid and myself. I had to take the kid to school. I had to go to the gym. I had to order two more school uniforms for the kid. I had to do laundry and fold it. I had to write and submit a piece for a magazine. I had to make lunch. I had to do the dishes.

    And now I will have to go get the kid from school. Which also means that I will have to help with homework, and have to make dinner.

    And in the end, I still don’t feel like I am going fast enough. I have three flash fiction pieces sitting in my end box that I want to read. I have four magazine articles that I want to finish reading. I have a new book that I got a month ago that I haven’t started yet. And I have been meaning to sketch a landscape for the past two days.

    But I still haven’t made time to book the kid’s yearly physical, eye exam, and the car’s inspection is due.

    Don’t get me started on balancing the checkbook and making extra credit card payments.

    And then when I have a drink later, I wonder if my life would have been different if my student loan had been forgiven, or if I would have majored in international business.

  • Distracted Today

    I set a schedule for myself and I try to stick to it. Wednesday is the one day of the week that is all my own. I don’t have any chores to take care of, no obligations to the family other than dropping off and picking the kid up from school. Wednesday is the day that I read short stories, write a review of one, and then work on my other writing.

    But not today.

    Everything has felt a little off.

    It started like normal. Got the family up, kid off to school, and went to the gym. Got home, settled in on the couch with a coffee, and started making the rounds of reading short fiction online, and in magazines. And I read for two hours, about 8 different stories, but my mind kept pulling me out of what I was doing. I was having trouble focusing, you know, just an overall difficulty at completing the simple task of reading, and thinking about what I had just read.

    It was a malaise that was coming over and around me. I was doing something for myself, that I enjoy doing, but I couldn’t shake the feeling that I should be doing something else. Something practical. Reading this morning started to feel like I was hiding out, avoiding, procrastinating away from what I should really be doing with my time.

    My mind wanted me to think about money and finances.

    We have a plan, which we have stuck to, but we hit a rough patch yesterday. Surprise medical bills, which delays our ability to pay down the debt. There is a chance that things could improve, but for the improvement to happen, I need to get a job.

    And that’s what is gnawing at me today; should I really be sitting around on the couch reading? Should I write a blog, when I should be updating my resume, searching Indeed?

    Clearly, I opted for the blog. I mean, I’m going to look for a job after lunch, and then get back to reading.