Tag: Stay at Home Dad

  • Alone Again, Again

    We have been very lucky in our family, as my wife has a great job that allows her to work from home. On the whole, this works out very well for all parties. The wife plugs away at her job in the home office, and I work where ever there is a space, which most of the time is the couch. The only conflict we run into is when one of us has a deadline, and the other one wants to talk, or be loud, or talk loudly.

    But today happened to be one of the days that the wife headed into the office to work.

    And I’m alone, but with the dog, but she ignores me, the dog that is, so I am basically alone today.

    It’s like sensory overload today; I have too much freedom.

    I got all my errands done early in the morning after the wife and kid left, which was good and has now left the late morning and afternoon free for me. But it is also like everything has ground to a halt. With everything possible today (playing my music loud, talking to myself, reading out loud, taking a walk, taking a nap) I’m in a state of stasis. What do I do first?

    Funny how yesterday I was pointing out my inability to focus, and today I have been given freedom, and it’s making it harder to focus on what to pursue.

    I shouldn’t complain, but sometimes I still do…

  • Getting Back to It, Again

    So, I’ve been doing this stay-at-home-dad thing for the past five years, and I keep thinking that when school starts back up for the kid, I will instantly fall right back into my reading/writing routine. I can excuse the first year, because it was the first year and I didn’t know any better. But the past four… Yeah, I know better, but I still won’t believe it.

    The issue that I have is a very basic human issue; I get knocked out of my pattern, and it is difficult to restart the healthy habits that I had.

    See, From January to June, we have a solid work/school schedule for everyone in the house. It’s a routine that we all can get behind and live within. And then Summer Vacation comes, and it blows everything up, and we’re all floundering, and waking up at different times every day. It’s just a wonder chaos, but its chaos compared for the first half of the year. I don’t accomplish a whole lot over Summer, but it is summer, and with a kid around, things do get lazy.

    Then the school year starts up, with the new routine, and schedule. There are clearly some kinks in the system as we get rolling, but the schedule works itself out, and we all fall into place, right?

    No, because the old habit got broken, and we have to reestablish a new habit. And that takes time. As it does every year. Every year it is the same thing; gotta work at getting back into the groove.

    But I keep thinking that “this year will be different.” That this year I will fall right back into doing all the stuff I want and need to do. There’s this huge stack of books I need to read, and I think that I will get right to it… but the reality is that at first I have to work at it – force myself to sit down and start reading. And then there all these emails of stories and flash pieces that I need to respond to… but again, I have to force myself to just set aside fifteen minutes to just get started. And don’t get started on the other creative writing projects that I have – some of which are stuck in the nightmare land of “Unfinished Outline.”

    I do know how this ends. It ends with the new habit being established. The work is completed. That feeling of accomplishment returns. It just takes a little effort every day. And sometimes I have to write a pep talk blog post to get me back to work.

  • That Nap Ruined My Day

    We all make mistakes.

    In fact, here’s the one I made today.

    The kid had a half day at school, so she was home by 1pm. Before I went and got her, I did all the tasks and errands that I needed to do; balanced the checkbook, did the dishes, plugged in and ran the AC’s, got the kid from school, and made lunch. I even wrote in my journal, and did a good bit of reading – caught up on some flash pieces I have been meaning to read and finished a book of short stories.

    The kid had some homework, and we both sat down on the couch to do it. I don’t do the homework, I’m more along for moral support, and encouragement. Anyway, as I was sitting there, being that I’m not needed a whole lot, I decided that I should start reading another book. I got about 2 pages into it, and I fell asleep. Now, it wasn’t a deep sleep, but it was 45 minutes. I only woke up because the kid nudged me to ask if I was sleeping.

    But for the life of me, I haven’t been able to get myself back in gear. It’s like I’m walking through sand now. I’m so sluggish and foggy brained. I had plans for the second half of the afternoon, but I can’t seem to focus. Honestly, it’s taken me an hour to get myself to just sit down and do this.

    Hell, I promised the kid we’d go running in the park, and I still have to make dinner. I thought I was going to review a story but that doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards.

    I swear, if I nap for fifteen minutes, I am solid and refreshed. But anything over that amount of time, it’s like a crap shoot – God only knows how I’m going to react.

    I think I can blame this one on getting older.

  • Another Rainy Monday

    Another Rainy Monday

    You know, exactly two weeks ago, I was sitting at home on a rainy Monday, writing about it being a rainy Monday.

    And it’s another rainy Monday.

    Just like I did two weeks ago, I pushed through the wet weather, and did the family laundry. It’s a chore that I agreed to; my part of the deal in being the stay-at-home dad. It’s not my favorite thing to do, but needs to be done. I folded laundry while watching MST3k on PlutoTV. The act made me want to take a nap, and gave me pause to reevaluate my conclusion on the latest season of the show. Perhaps I was too critical.

    The sky is still gray, but the rain has subsided. The temp is mid-forties, and I have a sweater on. I should be reading a book.

    Or I should be contemplating about the coming of Spring?

    Or I should contemplate the strange desire I have to put on shorts, but still wear a sweatshirt? That look, it makes me think of New England Summers. It warm and cool at the same time. It might get up to 76, but when the sun sets, it drops down into the 50’s. That sounds like an ideal summer to me.

    Yet, to get there, Summer that is, I have to make it through this Spring. And it is Spring around here. All the trees have started to bud, and the daffodils have popped out in the parks. It even feels a little more upbeat around the neighborhood. Like a slightly better mood, or maybe people are being optimistic to the change in season.

    For now, I have a gray sky and an under-construction condo-tower to look at. I would like that nap, but I have to get the kid from school, so no rest for the lazy.

  • Man, Am I Tired

    Not sure what happened. I went to bed at my normal-ish time last night. I did stay up and watch the Oscars, so maybe that had something to do with it.

    I’m not saying I didn’t enjoy the Oscars, but it has been over 15 years since I have seen all the best picture nominees, let alone half of them. But I am a movie fan, and I like the spectacle, and it is something fun to debate with friends, and I wanted to see what Conan would do. With all of that said, it was a rather dull affair. My kid wanted to stay up and watch it with me, which I agreed to, but she was out by 9pm.

    When the Oscars were over, and the kid off to bed, I started to watch Becket. I hadn’t seen it since high school, and I didn’t get too far into it. I found Peter O’Toole’s Henry II grating on my nerves, which I understand was the point. Then I thought about watching Lion in Winter, which is also about Henry II but at the end of his life and with succession being the driver of that plot. Though Lion in Winter is not a sequel to Becket, with O’Toole playing Henry II in both films, it sort of very loosely, kind’a is.

    I bring all of this up for no other reason than it occurred to me last night.

    And this morning, I just felt off. Very tired, a little anxious, and all around uneasy about myself and the day before me. The last time I felt like this was when I was working a particular job that I started to despise, and knew it was time for me to leave. But I couldn’t pin down why I was feeling this way, especially on a day like today.

    But there is a very harsh reality with being the age that I am and also having responsibilities of my family; I had to push through it. I had to make breakfast for the gang. I had to get people up and on their way. I had to do laundry and clean up. I had to making chicken stock for dinner, and lunch for the wife. In a little bit, I will take that chicken stock and tech my kid how to make Greek Lemon Soup.

    I just have to keep pushing through, but that feeling hasn’t gone away today.