Tag: #sleep

  • The Act of Journaling

    I read an article in this week’s New Yorker, entitled “The Paper Tomb,” about the journals of Claude Fredericks. Who, you ask? In fact, the article starts off the same way. Unless you went to Bennington College, or are a deep dive fan of the novel, “The Secret History,” odds are you are like me, and this would be the first time his name has shown up in your life. What makes Claude Fredericks interesting, at least in this article, is that he spent an entire lifetime journaling, and expected it to be published. Also, Fredricks was an early proponent, autofiction, though in his mind, he saw the journal as the vessel of this media, and not the novel.

    I read the article last night, and I have been thinking about it since. I do like the ambition of a longhaul documentation of one’s life, in the sense that it is a fascinating art project. It’s like Andy Warhol’s “Sleep,” five and a half hours of a guy sleeping. Sure, it’s an anti-film, but it also plays on the idea of documentation to the point where it is actually just witnessing life. Can you truly document an entire life? We all know the answer is no. You cannot witness someone else’s entire life, nor can you get every detail of life down on paper.

    But what is it then? I journal, and I know a great number of other people who journal as well. Hell, Gary Shandling was a prolific with his journals. Are we doing this for ourselves, or do we all intend to have someone read them one day? Isn’t this just a fancy literary way of talking to ourselves?

    I have completed 38 journals that are anywhere from 200 to 300 pages long each. I started when I was 18 and continue to this day. They are in a box in the office, and most days I don’t think about them. Then I complete a journal, and go to throw it into that box, and that’s when I ask myself, who is this really for?

  • ODDs and ENDS: Other Guy’s Parking Problems, Tom Brady, and Tired

    “ODDS and ENDS” is my continuing series of random thoughts and follow ups…

    I know I bitch about parking in the City often, and maybe I complain too much, but today I watched another guy flip out over parking. I mean, yelling and screaming. He lost his original spot because he refused to get out of the way of the sweeper, and when he did get out of the way, someone took his spot. Now, the guy who lost his spot was able to get a new one, because people, myself included, packed our cars pretty tight making a space for him. I thought this was one of those Magical New Yok moments where people from all walks of life work together to help someone out. But no… The guy, in his new spot, still bitched and moaned and yelled at all of us… Go, New York!

    I expected more from Tom Brady. I only got 21.98 points off him last night. Thanks a lot, GOAT.

    And I’m tired. I think I have been saying this I was 16, and when I think about it, 16-year-old me really wasn’t tired, I just enjoyed naps. I don’t remember when the last time was when I didn’t feel tired. And I started thinking that it has gone on for so long that there is no way to catch up and not feel tired. Like, there is no amount of sleep, or meditation, or relaxation that will exorcize this feeling from me. And I thought I was tired before I had a kid.

  • ODDS and ENDS – England v Scotland, REI, and Father’s Day

    I have no one to talk to about this, which makes me think I am the only American watching EURO 2021. I know that’s not true as the matches are on ESPN, but still… No one to talk to about it. Today, England is playing against Scotland which has all kinds of implications for this group. If England wins, they pretty much are guaranteed to move on to the knockout round. While Scotland, at the bottom of the group, has to win to stay alive. Then there is all of that history between the two nations, and I am sure that some idiot out there has all of his BRAVEHEART memes rip roaring to go.

    On Saturday, I will head to REI to see if their 100% Satisfaction Guaranteed Policy is for real when it comes to hiking boots worn once. I am fully aware that I was upsold on some boots over Memorial Day, but they are just a half size too small. I can feel my toes rubbing against the top of the boots. I know it’s not an end of the world problem, but I think if I were to hike longer than an hour, then I would have a real issue. Anyway, to find this out, I had to ware them, so, let’s see what they do. Balls in your court REI!

    Speaking of which, at least REI that is, I’m also going to pick up a day-backpack while I’m at the store tomorrow. Yup I’m buying more gear as a Father’s Day gift to myself. As with my wife’s birthday, in which I played no part in planning, so that she could have exactly what she wanted, I have also been granted this gift. So, I’m getting a daypack, and on Sunday, the whole family is going out for a hike in the woods. If you would have asked me a year ago what I wanted to do on Father’s Day, I would have told you sleep, and sleep late. Now, I want to get up early and sweat in the woods. It’s been a strange year.

  • Sleep

    I never said I was smart, but I have always hoped I would be one day.

    With all the changes that have come my way in the past year, I have noticed two major developments:

    1. I don’t sleep well
    2. I have put on 20 lbs.

    There are other things that have changed, and not necessarily for the better, but I have these two are the most important, should be addressed relatively soon, and interconnected.

    My sleep problems have become more severe over the year, I am up later, and I find my self mindlessly eating. (Ice cream and chips are my biggest weakness.) If I were to sleep better, then I wouldn’t be eating at 2am, right? That seems simple. I should be able to address this easily.

    And you can figure out that I haven’t been able to get my arms around this.

    I had been thinking that I don’t have enough time to get all the things done that I desire to do. I even said that to myself the other day as I ate chocolate ice cream and watched “Drunk History.”

    That’s when it started to dawn on me; it’s not the lack of time, it’s the bad management of time.

    There is a psychological factor here. Planning out my sleep, and all the other things in my life doesn’t feel fun, or spontaneous.

    But is being out of shape and having no energy, and watching my life pass me by fun and spontaneous?

    This will be a long slow process of getting my life back on track. I will have lots of setbacks, and screw ups, but when I woke up today, I had to admit that the way I am living now isn’t making me happy.