Tag: #Research

  • Feeling Off Today (Unedited)

    The day feels off. In fact, it felt a little off right before I went to bed.  Then in the middle of the night, the kid woke me up, which was right after midnight, so it was like the day did in fact start with an issue. I think the kid needed to blow her nose. That was the problem I was tasked with solving. Which I did, and then put her back to sleep.

    And since then, it’s really been off.

    I got back to sleep but never really fell into a deep sleep; I was always aware that I was just barely asleep.

    So, this morning has felt off. And I have felt frustrated.

    I rewrote my cover letter for submitting, but I haven’t been able to shake the nagging voice which keeps telling me that this is a big waste of time, and nothing will come of it.

    And as I was researching literary, again the thought of failure keep coming at me. That, again this is a futile exercise. That I don’t know enough. That I don’t belong. That That That…

    It’s exhausting constantly fighting with myself.

    I know being tired doesn’t help, but I think I need to admit that I am a little afraid too. I’m afraid to fail. I’m also afraid to be laughed at. I’m afraid too because I have nowhere to hide. In theatre, I had a character or a puppet to hide behind. With my stories, it’s all me, and that’s putting the fear in me. I feel exposed.

    But, I don’t like feeling worthless either. Not having a goal, something to work towards, is a pretty awful feeling as well.

    Gotta push through it.

  • Small Town Research

    For Labor Day, I took the three days to not write. I only journaled on Saturday morning, but that was all of the physical act of writing that I did.

    We spent time out of New York City, and tried to honestly forget about being stuck in our apartment, and all the other things that are going wrong due to Covid.

    I was able to get the family to go with me upstate to look at some of the towns and the region that I am thinking about as the setting as the novel. I took pictures on my phone, and thought about how some places are just tourist traps, while other small towns fight hard not change what they have been for decades.

    Most ideas being thrown on the heap…

  • Research and Sticking to Reality

    There was a silly question which I posed to my wife yesterday in regard to the novel. She had walked in the door from walking the dog, and I said to her, “So don’t read into this, but what do you know about getting a divorce in New York?”

    I am lucky to have my wife, who has fielded strange questions from me for years, so she didn’t even bat an eye at this one. “Not a whole lot,” she said, “but I know they suck.”

    And with that, I am forced to do research.

    As we are all stuck at home, I have started reading on the internet, and going to legal sites to discover the ins and outs of DIY divorces, and lawyers, and the fact that no one is happy about getting divorced.

    The worst part is that by starting to do the most basic of research, I have already discovered some statements that I had the protagonist make about the divorce process, are factually wrong, and not how it works in New York. I made the note, and when I start rewriting, I will incorporate this information in. Though, working this information in will affect a small subplot in the novel, which will force me to figure out how to adjust the subplot, or just cut it.

    And then I had a thought; if I am writing fiction, then I can just make up whatever I want. Who says that I have to follow how the real-world works? This isn’t a documentary, but when I write, I have this compulsion that I have to stick everything into reality. If New York State has a 60-day waiting period before a divorce is finalized, then I can’t write about a situation where that doesn’t exist.

    Right?

    I have also heard it said by a writer friend that you should only do research after you complete the first draft. “Don’t let facts get in your way from telling a good story.”