Tag: #PositiveThinking

  • Ideas for 2022

    I don’t make New Year’s Resolutions. Mainly because, they always fail.

    I, on the other hand, try out new ideas to see if they stick.

    As you can see, two totally different things.

    This first thing I will try out is not drinking. Not total sobriety, but taking a break. It comes down to two things; health and finances. On the health front; I am twenty pounds overweight. I have the middle age man belly, which isn’t really surprising, as I am middle aged. The alcohol isn’t helping with the gut, and I think it’s adding to my depression as well. I don’t feel as positive of a person as I used to be. I don’t think I have a problem with drinking, but I feel like if I don’t start making steps to take my health seriously, that I could have a problem. The other thing is financial. Not that the wife and I are spending a huge amount of money on alcohol, but looking at our year-end review, we spent, on average, $100 a month. I think we can say that we know of a better ways to use that money.

    The next thing is that I will, oh god, start going to a gym for 30 minutes at a time. You might have heard that I am about twenty pounds overweight. Though I would like to say that it was all alcohol and sugary drink’s fault, it’s also inactivity’s fault. Yes, we were hiking most weekends this summer and fall, but one day every two weeks just isn’t enough. (We will pick up hiking again in the Spring.) It’s also the mental health benefits that comes with exercise that I am missing. In the past year, I have been harder on myself than usual. I know everyone has that nagging self-sabotage voice in their head, but most people work through it. For me, this past year, it has been harder and tougher for me to forgive myself, or even have the energy to follow through on a project. That’s not who I am. I was the guy who followed through and got shit done.

    And the last thing is that I have to admit that I didn’t meet my writing goals for the last four month, and in essence, for the year. I did okay, but I didn’t make the goal. I wanted to have three short stories completed by the end of the year. I got two finished, and I think they are in good enough shape to submit, but I wanted to have three. Now, I know full well there is nothing stopping me from submitting the two, but, you know, I didn’t complete what I set out to do. I have maintained the blog, though my viewers have dropped by half. So, instead of four people viewing daily, I now only have two. (And I think I know who those two people are. Hey, guys.) Maybe I do need to spend the $100 and get away from the free WordPress site, or might just need to come to terms with the fact that a random blog about one guys thoughts isn’t that dynamic anymore. It’s not 1997 when confessional blogs were all the rage. Anyway, the blog still brings me a level of joy and feeling of accomplishment daily, so I think this will keep going. The other writing? I need to get back to the grindstone. I need to put in the work.

    And I need to read more!

  • Planning for Fall?

    Summer’s over. It was a fast ten weeks for us, as that’s what the wife and I were saying to each other last night. We do have one final week until the kid starts school on Monday, but let’s be honest, it’s not much of a Summer week, being that we will be spending our time preparing for the start of classes.

    And it wasn’t that great of a Summer. I give it two and a half stars. And I will blame it all on the Delta Variant, and the half of the country that didn’t get vaccinated, for whatever reason that I don’t agree with, but here we are. The ability to return back to normal never materialized. Having normal fun with people? Not so much. A return to unobstructed travel wasn’t really possible either.. And now we are left with an Autumn that looks like it will be filled with anxiety and stress.

    But still, last night on the sofa, as we mourned our lost Summer, we still found ourselves falling into our old positive ways. We talked about our plans for the rest of the year; patching and painting the apartment, hanging new shelves in the kid’s room to free up floor space, getting tickets for the Great Jack O’Lantern Blaze in October, making the kid’s Halloween costume, Thanksgiving, and the Granddaddy of all planning, Christmas! We even kidded about going back to Maine next Summer.

    With everything happening, and it is STILL HAPPENING, we find ourselves being optimistic, and trying to plan for a better tomorrow.

    I don’t think we are being delusional, just hopeful.

  • Watching, Waiting, Hoping

    Just waiting for the final vote counts to come in.

  • Cowardly Writer

    A friend of mine, who I haven’t spoken to in over a year was awarded a grant so she could continue on her novel without having to look for a job at the end of the world. She is super talented, completely deserves it, and I’m very happy for her. The thing that piqued my interest was that my friend gave thanks to another author, who had informed her of the grant, when they had first meet at a writing symposium.

    As in all things it’s who you know.

    I know I have to have material in the first place; finish the novel, finish the story collection

    But, I think I know people. But I can’t bring myself to ask for advice or help.

    This is cowardly, but I think I’m afraid of my friends hating my work. I know I’m not in a place to share, but I can’t stay this way forever, as in my work will never see the light of day. I will never grow if I don’t open myself up.

    The journey is getting a little uncomfortable now…

  • The Day Went Sideways

    I thought I had a plan for today.

    That was my first mistake.

    What I had set out to do today was help out my friends. They had rented a car, and to help save them some dollars, I offered to drive them to the rental place, which was in New Jersey. Not really a big deal, just across the George Washington Bridge.

    Well…

    Nothing is easy in New Jersey.

    It took over three hours to pick them up, drop them off and get home. They say New York City has emptied out… but not on the GWB.

    By the time I had got home, I had lost the time I had set aside to blog and work on the novel. (Clearly, I’m blogging now, but I’m doing it while the kid is running around the park. Not the most attentive parent today.) I am afraid that the novel won’t get any attention and that’s just the way it’s going to be.

    But that’s okay.

    I don’t want to beat myself up if I don’t work on every project, every day. It was a good thing that I helped out my friends and got to spend time with them. Things go sideways, that’s just life. I need to be more forgiving to myself, and be more confident that I am committed to following through on writing.