Tag: Parenting

  • What Am I Waiting For?

    I’m in a hurry!

    That’s what today has felt like.

    I haven’t gone fast enough to get anything done.

    I had to make breakfast for the kid and myself. I had to take the kid to school. I had to go to the gym. I had to order two more school uniforms for the kid. I had to do laundry and fold it. I had to write and submit a piece for a magazine. I had to make lunch. I had to do the dishes.

    And now I will have to go get the kid from school. Which also means that I will have to help with homework, and have to make dinner.

    And in the end, I still don’t feel like I am going fast enough. I have three flash fiction pieces sitting in my end box that I want to read. I have four magazine articles that I want to finish reading. I have a new book that I got a month ago that I haven’t started yet. And I have been meaning to sketch a landscape for the past two days.

    But I still haven’t made time to book the kid’s yearly physical, eye exam, and the car’s inspection is due.

    Don’t get me started on balancing the checkbook and making extra credit card payments.

    And then when I have a drink later, I wonder if my life would have been different if my student loan had been forgiven, or if I would have majored in international business.

  • Having Kids (Unedited)

    I like being a parent, but seriously, you shouldn’t have kids.

    Unless you already have kids, then nevermind.

    But if you don’t have kids, and you are on the fence about it… Don’t do it.

    Again, I love my kid, and I wanted to be a parent.

    But there are too many people on this planet honestly, and also, most parents are really bad at it. Really; they suck at it.

    Besides, you could become the crazy aunt or uncle to a kid, who shows up at holidays. Not the racist drunk uncle, but the silly one that accidently swears at inappropriate times, and let’s slip that how their dad got really high at a Phish concert in college. Doesn’t that sound like more fun? And then at the end of the night, you get to go home, leaving the parents stuck with the kids you just filled up with sugar and bad ideas.

    Actually, who I need to be talking to are the people who have kids that try to convince other people to have kids. No one will say this to your face, but you are an awful friend for doing that. Quit pushing your breeding ways on people who don’t want to have a litter.

    It’s like when your friend falls in love, and then they think that if you went and fell in love it would solve all your problems. Remember that person in your life? No matter how many time you told them you were fine being single, they were still positive they could couple you up with someone and then you wouldn’t be so lonely and bitter.

    The point here is that we should just let people make their own decisions.

  • First and Second Day of School

    This academic year, we switched schools that our daughter attends. It wasn’t an easy decision, and there were many family discussions, and up and downs, but we landed on a school we are all happy with. This did cause us to have a short Summer, as her old school got out on the last week of June, and her new school started this middle of August. Again, we had discussed this as a family, and the kid said she was okay with all of it.

    And when the first day rolled around, she was up and ready to go – full of excitement and itching to start the adventure. The new school required a uniform, which she felt was like Harry Potter and Hogwarts. Though she did mention that it was a little sad not to go to school with her old friends, she said she was ready to make new friends. This school was out of the neighborhood, so we had to ride the subway, which was a new adventure. Everything was new and exciting, and we were all ready for it. And it wasn’t surprising that by the time I picked her up from school, the excitement and adrenaline had worn off, and she was tired, and in the end, though she likes school, it was still school.

    Today, was we got up this morning, there was no joy or excitement in getting up to go to school. The newness had worn off in 24 hours, and we returned to the world of her asking, “Why is school so early?” Sprinkle on top of that and nice bit of grumpiness. She did get up and go, and as we got closer to the school, her attitude got better, but she was still closer to grumpy than nice.

    Again, I am not surprised at this reaction. Going someplace new is hard. It’s hard to walk into a room full of people, who all know each other, and fit in. Being new brings up stresses and anxieties in her, and I am powerless to assuage them. I can support and be there and listen, but dropping her off is the first time I really felt powerless in helping her. I’m confident in her to overcome this, and make this school work, to make friends, and thrive in this new environment.

    She’s got this.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Harry Kane, Goodbye Japan and England, and Bookstores

    (Witty Quip!)

    After three years, and I believe it has been three years, of me saying that Harry Kane will leave Tottenham for another team; it has come to pass. The Athletic is reporting that Kane is going to Bayern Munich. I wish it weren’t true, but it is. And though I would have liked to have seen Tottenham win, I don’t know, several trophies – the odds of that happening in the near future are slim. If Kane wants to be considered in the top tier of international footballers, then he needs to win some hardware, and Bayern makes sense for that reason. In one year, he could win the Bundesliga championship, and the Champions League. Sadly, Tottenham management, looking at you Levy, couldn’t get their act in gear and deliver a manager and additional players to move Spurs into that level, and hence, why Kane left. I don’t blame him. You compete in professional sports to win, and you have to go where your odds are best for that outcome. I guess I will need to start watching Bundesliga now.

    And Japan lost to Sweden! I didn’t see that coming. I started to think that this was Japan’s Cup, and that there wasn’t another team out there that could keep up with them. But the Swedish women aren’t messing around, and I think they might take the whole thing. As for England – they’re done. The two-game suspension on Lauren James’ Red Card against Nigeria is a team killer. She and that team lost their composure, and that is a fall that is hard to recover from. I see Columbia taking full advantage of this situation, seeing how far they can push England. That having been said, since I am always wrong with soccer predictions, I am now calling a Sweden v Australia Final. 100% Guaranteed. Take it to the bank!

    And in the end; I about to head to the local bookstore with the kid. I’m going to get her a book or two. Maybe one for myself as well. It’s late Summer and the clock is ticking until she’s back in school, and then we start the marathon to the end of the year. So, with that in mind, I want to go to a bookstore. And wander the shelves, and let my kid go forth and discover things that she might want to read. My dad used to do this with me when I was her age, and being lost in a bookstore does somehow slow down time. Nothing happens quickly there, as discovery arrives on its own schedule.

  • School Days

    As we get closer to the end of Summer, all of my focus begins to move towards getting the kid ready for school. For the past few years, she attended a local neighborhood public school, and even though we loved our school, the wife and I decided that our daughter needed to attend a different school that would better meet her needs.

    I say all of this because today was Orientation Day for the new school, and we were up and out, bright and early, on this late Summer morning.

    I clearly love my kid very much, but one of the things I am most proud about her is that she is unafraid to try new things. When I was her age, anything that changed my predictable pattern scared the shit out of me, and is still an issue I deal with today. But not my kid – she sees the new school as a chance to make new friends, try new things, learn new stuff – it’s all exciting to her.

    As with this Orientation, the kids went in one direction to find their classrooms and meet their teachers, and the parents went to the auditorium to get a Power Point presentation. (I don’t mean to sound like I am mocking, I’m not. It was a well-done presentation.) But we still had to sit and wait, as there were a good number of new parents and kids to this school, and processing all of us wasn’t a quick or easy task.

    I sat in the middle back of the auditorium, and I have always sat in the middle back in any theatre or auditorium I have even had the chance to select my seat. I’m pretty sure I started doing this in high school, nearly thirty years ago. I had read once that seat selection says something about you psychological make up.

    Not sure I believe it, but let’s say it’s true. So, the type A’s sit on the front row, and the bad kids are in the back. The people who don’t want to be noticed sit in the middle, and the people who don’t want to be there sit on the isle. (I think my selection says that I want to be “bad” but also not get noticed.) According to this group of parents – almost everyone didn’t want to be noticed, a handful were type A, not that many people on the isles, and I didn’t look behind me, so I don’t know how many “bad kids” were there.

    What I did see was a very diverse crowd of parents. None of us looked the same, and we all did look rather tired for being up that early. It’s one of the aspects of living in NYC that I enjoy, and I know will benefit my kid, which is that she has and will continue to go to school with kids that different from her, and they all will help each other broaden their horizons. Also, this was a room full of dedicated parents, which is something that we all had in common – we want what’s best for our kids.