Tag: #Parenting

  • Fixing Nightmares

    I’m just not feeling today. Part of it is that I didn’t sleep well last night, which was due to my mind not shut off. I was having a negative thought downward spiral, where I was listing everything that I was disappoint in about myself, as well as saying to myself over and over again that I will never succeed at anything I truly desire.

    Good times in the self-defeating department.

    And then at about 3 in the morning, the kid woke up from a bad dream, and wanted me to snuggle her back to sleep. That made things a little better. I didn’t ask her what the bad dream was about, as I have found that asking her to relive the nightmare sometimes makes things worse, as it just scares her all over again. What works better is to play a game of naming all the things that makes us happy. We go back and forth, I normally start, and we do this until she either feels better, or falls asleep.

    I start with an easy one;

    Me- Snuggles

    Her – My doll

    Me – Reading books

    Her – Drawing pictures

    Me – Pizza

    Her – Cheesy noodles

    Me – The dog

    Her – Friends at the park

    After a few back and forth’s, she is out. I hold on to her for a minute or two more just to make sure she’s asleep. Then I slow slink out of her room, with the job accomplished.

    Not that I got back to sleep right away, but I tried thinking about the things that keep me going, the goals I have. Generally, I keep it together, but there are those days when everything feels a million miles away, and nothing will change it.

    That is the Covid-isolation brain talking. I have been pretty much doing the same thing for a year now, and it just feels like nothing has changed. But feelings aren’t necessarily facts.

    I’m just tired.

  • The New Normal: The Job of Staying Home

    I over slept this morning, by thirty minutes. In this world we live in, it felt like I lost the entire morning. I was a half hour late on getting things started around the apartment.

    I had to quickly suck down a cup of coffee, shower, change and winter up so I could walk the dog in the twenty-degree cold that was this morning. Hurry, hurry, hurry, because I still had to get the kid ready for remote school, and when I got back home with the dog, the kid informed me that I don’t have a job, and need to get one.

    “You’re my job,” I said.

    “That’s not a real job,” The kid told me.

    Ah… the curse of the stay at home parent; no one thinks it’s a real job, even your kid.

    Is this the effect of capitalism on our society? If the endeavor does not earn capital, does it have a value in our society? I mean, this is not a new question, as I remember hearing this being asked when I was a little kid. That would mean, that over thirty-five years, stay at home parenting is still not viewed as a productive job that has a value.

    Or is this a matter of roles in a household? As in, the wife and I have always been working since the kid has been born. The child has only known us to be a family where mom and dad both have jobs outside of the home, and then share the responsibilities of all the domestic tasks. With the world turn upside down, did we ever take the time to explain to the kid what the new make-up of our family roles will be?

  • Confession: Reading Failure

    I have a confession to make. Awhile back, I said that I would read The Stories of John Cheever this fall. Well… as we are now clearly in the middle of winter, I have to admit that I did not read The Stories of John Cheever. In fact, I only read the first story in that book. I looked at that volume every evening on the nightstand as I got into bed, and I would say to myself, “Tomorrow, I’ll get back to it.”

    Yup, I failed at this personal goal. I mean, I didn’t even come close. I wish I could say that I got caught up reading another book, but that isn’t true either. Sadly, my fall and winter reading progress is pretty disappointing.

    And if I am to be fully honest with myself, I only finished three books in all of 2020.

    I’m not saying this to garner sympathy, or to make excuses. Its more that I want to identify what isn’t working. You can’t write if you don’t read.

    What had brought this about is that I am now teaching my daughter how to read, and I want to instill a love of reading. The best way I know to do this is by example, as that is what my parents did for me. It’s not that they told me to read, or made me; reading is what they did for enjoyment.

    Gotta get my shit together. For all of us.

  • It’s Another Snow Day!

    And it’s the fat fluffy flakes that are falling.

    The kid is beside herself, but we do have school today, and that has put a damper on her.

    But!

    We bought a sled yesterday in anticipation of the weather, and hopefully, we will get to use it tomorrow.

    Now, we did get to go out in the snow this morning. See, I learned the lesson from the last major snow storm that hit NYC; Buy a Snow Shovel! And we even got one of those snow brushes/scrapers for the car. So, as the snow was piling up, I knew that I needed to head over to the car, and start the process of cleaning it off, and getting the windshield wipers up, so they don’t freeze to the car. If I was going out into the snow, the kid had to go with me.

    And she was cute as could be. When we stepped out in to the storm, I would have to say that it was almost blizzard like, she giggled with excitement with being pelted in the face with snow. There was a stiff wind, and heavy snow, but we made it over to the car. The whole walk over there, the kid kept reaching down to make snowballs, or to walk in the drifts. Snow is just too tempting for the kid, and I don’t blame her, but she wanted to go sledding. The storm was just too bad., so I had to tell her not today. She wasn’t happy with that decision.

    We made it to the car, and I let her use the snow brush to knock the snow off. She had fun drawing pictures on the snow dusted windows, before she brushed them off. We made the best of the situation we had, before it got too cold for us and we headed back.

  • Covid Test Results, And Thinking About Schools

    I got my results yesterday afternoon, and I am negative for Covid. Turns out that I just have a cold. I won’t even get into the fact that I somehow have a cold. How did I get a cold when I am social distanced, wear a mask, and wash my hands all the time? But, whatever.

    With all of this going on, the wife and I started talking about the shit situation we are all in due to Covid. And we are again started talking about sending our kid to school. I agree 100% that remote school is not what is best for the education of children. The kid would be better served in a classroom, with other students and teachers. We are lucky that I can be the dedicated parent to make sure the kid stays on top of her lessons, and also gets an opportunity to explore new subjects. I know that not every family has the luxury that we have.

    Now, I also understand where teachers are coming from. I wouldn’t be comfortable with teaching children without a vaccine, and until I got one, I think I would like to remote teach as well. A teacher’s health is just an important as their students’ wellbeing. There must be some balance.

    I wish the vaccine rollout had been handled better, and I do hope the Biden people do a better job of it. All teachers need to be vaccinated as soon as possible. I also think, and truly hope, that everyone will hold teachers in a higher appreciation, and pay them what they are worth.

    I know we are a long way from being over this disease, but I think we are getting closer to being able to believe that a light in this tunnel may exist.