Tag: ODDS and ENDS

  • ODDS and ENDS: Local Spurs Bars, YouTube Battle Documentaries, and Most Men Can’t Grill

    (Holy Cannoli!)

    I have found the local NYC Tottenham Hotspur bar. Well, there are two; One in Manhattan and one in Brooklyn. I’m not planning on going there, as I just like knowing that they are there if I need them. Also, the 2022/23 Premiere League fixture schedule came out on Thursday. I won’t bore you with the details, but the season does start on August 6th.

    I think I might have mentioned a while ago that I started watching disc golf tournaments on YouTube. If I haven’t mentioned it,; I do that now. Somehow the YouTube/Google algorithm (which is our new overload and I do welcome them in running the mine) thought I needed to watch some very detailed, slightly melodramatic, and well narrated, mini documentaries about battles from the ancient and medieval world. And the overlord was correct, I am interested in watching them. It’s nerdy fun for me, as they do cover all of the lead up and logistics of the battles, which is something that is normally glossed over in other histories on the same subject. Now, all of these docs have an ad in them, which makes complete sense because somebody’s got to pay for this. I am not knocking these guys for having ads. Hell, I’m probably going to be doing the same thing very soon. What I find impressive about these ads is the seamlessness the voiceover artists have with going from talking about the battle to selling whatever product. It’s like, “Little did Caesar know that Pompey was setting a trap that would decide the future of the Roman Republic, just like how my future was decided when I began using Giglio Men’s Facial Regimen – I product I fully endorse, and suggest that you should try as well.” I tip my cap to these guys; they sell these products just as convincingly as they narrate the documentaries.

    Yeah, most guys don’t know how to grill. (I said, and I ain’t scared.) I have been talking to the wife about this lately because it’s summer, and grilling season, and some guy somewhere will grill some sort of meat for us, and it will be awful. And we will chew this grey piece of burnt bark while being regaled by this guy, telling us how great he is at grilling. Please, fellas, stop it. If you don’t know how to cook in a kitchen, what the fuck makes you think that you are amazing over a grill? It’s like all of the guys turn into the Hulk over the grill. “FIRE! SMASH!” Just… just stop. We, your friends, are begging you. Just stop.

    (Say, if you like what you read, then don’t forget to like, or share, or leave a comment. Every bit helps.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Field Day, SPF Shirt, AND Oysters and Martinis

    (Whatever gets you through the night)

    I was doing the Alt Side parking this morning, and the spot I found was along the local park, which was a normal place for me to put the car. As I was next to the park, there was a steady stream of people jogging, walking their dogs, and people with babies in strollers. Just a normal Friday morning. And then, a large mass of elementary school kids came walking by, led by teachers, bounding, over joyed and exuberant. The kids had on different colored shirts, and written on the shirts was “FIELD DAY 2022.” It’s Field Day today for these kids, because, you know, they haven’t had a Field Day in two years. I know it’s an old story to talk about the things we have missed out on during the two Covid years, but I had forgotten about Field Days; the most unathletic athletic competitions that a school can host. Just a fun day at school where it felt like we were all getting away with something, like a clandestine free day. I sat in my car listening to the kids laugh, and scream and cheer each other on in hula-hoop, and three leg races.

    I am going to buy a men’s SPF shirt for this summer. The past couple of summers, when we have gone to the beach or a water park, I have gotten some pretty server sunburns. Yes, I have used and reapplied sun screen. Now, when I went looking for a respectable looking SPF shirt, I noticed that all of them are skin tight. If this was 25-year-old me, this wouldn’t be an issue. But 45-year-old me, who likes beer and ice cream, wonders if there is a more loose, casual type of SPF shirt? You know, a SPF shirt that says, “I don’t want to get burned, and I only go out in the sun once a year.”

    It’s my wife’s birthday! Oysters and Martinis for dinner!

    (Say! If you like what you have read, please like, share, and leave a comment. It would help justify my existence.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Summer, Dragon Warrior, and Louie Gohmert is a Coward

    (Get in loser…)

    The kid still has about a month left to school, but Summer is here. I have broken out the air conditioners due to a couple of eighty-degree days, and one awful ninety-degree day. The shorts are out as well, and so is the talk of going swimming. Nothing says Summer more than a kid wanting to get in the water and swim. For me, I’m not a huge fan of Summer heat – I did grow up in Texas so I have suffered under enough hot weather to last three or four lifetimes – but I like the feeling of freedom that summer creates in one’s mind. Summer means plans, and vacations, and projects, and also being a little lazy and watching tv all day. Also, Summer means that I will get to spend a great amount of time with the kid. I would like to take her to museums, and maybe a road trip out to the Pollock/Krasner house in Springs, Long Island. There are only eleven weeks to cram a lot of fun in.

    I have got it in my head that I want to play Dragon Warrior. If you don’t know, it was one of the first RPG for the NES back in 1986. (Yes, I am aware that the original name was Dragon Quest but was changed for the North American market, but we’re talking about a 45-year old’s nostalgia here, so I would like to keep calling it Dragon Warrior.) I have looked up the game, and I can buy a version to play on my iPad or iPhone, but both versions look updated, and clean. What I am looking for is the 8-bit original to play. It would be great if I could get that on my devices, but I feel what I’d have to do to make this happen is buy an old NES and blow on the cartridge hoping that it will load, and then hope beyond hope that it still can save my game. (Hey other 40-year-old! You know what I’m talking about.)

    And let’s not forget that @LouieGohmertTX1 is a coward that wants to make it easier for mass murders to get their hands-on semiautomatic guns as fast as possible. Thanks @LouieGohmertTX1 maybe you can club some puppies and baby seals before you walk out the door?

    (Say, don’t forget to like this post, or share it, or leave a comment. I got bills to pay, you know.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Kids are Back, Doomsday DJ, and Protect Kids and Not Guns

    (Is that a flying pig in the sky?)

    I have started watching The Kids in the Hall’s new season in Amazon. As with all of these nostalgia reboots of stuff from the 80’s and 90’s, some fall rather flat, and leave you wondering why it needed to be rebooted in the first place. (Looking at you Fresh Prince.) First of all, I don’t think The Kids in the Hall are a reboot, as it feels like a solid continuation of the original show. Second, The Kids are just as biting and internal as they have ever been. Yes, they are older, but that alt/punk subversive vibe is still there. Their humor was never topical, and their best stuff always had to do with the relationship between characters.

    Which brings me to “Doomsday DJ” a darkly humorous bleak sketch with just Dave Foley and Melanie’s 1971 hit “Brand New Key.” Though the sketch, which is in three parts and the clip is only the first, takes place in a world where DNA bombs have fallen and destroyed just about everybody on the planet, it has an eerie present feeling to it. Was the sketch’s creation influenced by the Trump years and Covid isolation? Clearly, yes. But man, Foley’s expression of desperation and loss with his eyes becoming unfocused, only to snap back to reality to do his “job” on the radio. I think everyone can relate to a similar feeling during the lockdown, watching tv on the couch, and wondering, “Is this really how it will all end?” The Kids tapped into a zeitgeist in the culture that I don’t think anyone has been able to express correctly. I know I said above that they don’t do topical jokes, and I hold to that, because the joke here is the internal struggle of the character to continue in the face of ultimate doom. Amazingly, we all know what that feels like, and now we see you can make fun of it.

    Protect Kids and Not Guns.

    Protect Kids and Not Guns.

    Protect Kids and Not Guns.

    (Say, don’t forget to like this post, or share it, or leave a comment. I got bills to pay, you know.)

  • ODDS and ENDS: Tottenham One Last Time, Sarah Sherman is Damn Funny, and Naps

    (things happen, and i talk about it)

    It’s the end of the Premiere League season, and yes, it does actually come down to the final matches. Lucky for me and the Tottenham loyal, with Arsenal’s loss to Newcastle, Spurs are sitting in the driver seat of their own destiny. All Tottenham has to do is win or tie against Norwich on Sunday. Lowly Norwich is at the very bottom of the table, doom to be relegated back to the Championship League. This would imply that Spurs should have this in the bag, and I for one, totally do not believe that. If sports have taught me anything, it’s that the last placed team can play like champions on the last game of the season. But if for some reason Tottenham does win or tie on Sunday, then I am quite positive that Harry Kane and Conte will both be receiving huge contracts in the off season. And I have never been wrong about this team.

    Sarah Sherman is my favorite new person on Saturday Night Live. I only found out about her last September when SNL announced its new cast, and as a lark, I looked her up. Sarah Sherman also goes by Sarah Squirm, which I started following on Instagram, and I have been enthralled with her. She’s weird and quirky, and funny, and has this whole sense of style that is unlike anyone. Her work on SNL this season has been a complete standout, and she carries herself like she’s been on the show for years. Go hunt her out, and pay attention.

    I’m going to take a nap.

    (Say, don’t forget to like this post, or share it, or leave a comment. I got bills to pay, you know.)