Tag: New York City

  • ODDS and ENDS: The New Summer, NYC Summer Smell, and Hungry All the Time

    (Clever One-Liner!)

    It’s hot. And not only that, its steamy, too. Not the good, Faulkner Southern Gothic steamy, but the awful humidity life sucks steamy. I’m not a big fan of Summer, and I am even a smaller fan of heat, but when it comes to Summer heat – I hate it. I grew up in Texas, and about my junior year in high school, I had enough. I was going to live up north. I’d rather freeze in Winter than melt in Summer. I had no idea how hot and steamy NYC gets in Summer. Honestly, someone should be out there telling tourists and perspective residents how bad July and August can be in The City. Sure, if you have a half a brain, you’d notice that NYC sits on a bay and well… you know… humidity follows. The thing is that now, just about the whole country, if not the world, lives in this awful extreme heat and humidity now. And it’s not going away, or getting fixed for a very, very long time. Its rather depressing that this is the world that my kid, and yours, is about to inherit – weather that is unbearable to live in. I still hold out hope that we can fix this, but if we can’t… People are going to start moving north and Canada could start having immigration issues from all of these illegal Americans.

    Say, did you know that New York City’s Official Summer Smell used to be wet garbage on a sidewalk. Well, not anymore! NYC’s new Official Summer Smell is Pot Smoke! You can’t go ten feet in this town without being hit by the smell of weed this Summer. Hey, I’m for legalization, but holy crap! It’s like the entire City is getting high. Right Now!

    I don’t know what’s going on with me, but for the past three days, I have been hungry all the time. When I say that, I don’t mean that I feel the urge to have a snack. I mean that I feel like I have been working all day and that I am starving for lunch or dinner. And no matter how much I eat; I never feel satisfied. Back in college, me and my roommate used to call this phenomena “Ravenous Days.” I don’t know what causes it, and eating doesn’t seem to solve it.

  • The Heat

    I hate hot weather, in general. Sure, on vacation, down near a beach, warm weather is pleasant and fun to be in. Having a little sweat near a pool or the ocean is always acceptable. But what I am talking about is my despisement for hot weather.

    Though I was born in Illinois, I spent most of my childhood, and the early part of my twenties in Texas, which is a place known for hot weather, in case you having been living under a rock, which is a nice place to cool down in Texas. Summer does last from May to, sometimes, the start of October. When I was a kid, it didn’t bother me, it just was what it was – Summer is the hot time of the year. As I got up to high school, the heat really started to bother me, and when I got to my twenties, I hated the heat. The odd thing was that in my twenties, I was doing outdoor theatre in the Texas Summer. Somehow I was okay with that, but I think that had to do with the amount of beer I was drinking.

    Living in New York has been an improvement, though not an escape from the heat. Oh, it’s not as hot here, but living on the water means we get the added bonus of humidity. That is what makes July and August awful up here. Everything is sticky, and the City smells worse for some reason. The silver lining is that by September, things do begin to cool down.

    I say all of this because we have just started the Summer of 2023. The kid’s off of school, and we still have a few weeks to kill before camp and vacations start. Right now, we are all squatting in front of air conditioners, trying not to move, like splooting squirrels.

    I don’t think there is any hope for a person like me on this planet. Things keep getting warmer, and I don’t know how far north I want to move. I think about Vermont and New Hampshire, but the locals there keep telling me that most people can’t handle the winters. Sure, I know they are out to scare the New Yorkers from moving to their state, and mission accomplished. I don’t want to shovel your feet of snow, New England. I just would like a cool place to stay for the Summer.

  • Busy Morning

    I wouldn’t say that I was dreading today, but I knew I had a lot to do. That was the reason that I didn’t sleep the best. Sure, there was a good/bad late movie on last night, which didn’t help.

    But, today was the last day of school for the kid, and there was a finely dusted glaze of excitement in our apartment this morning. The cusp of Summer vacation was upon us, and the kid was bubbling over with glee to get it all started. For us the parents, we needed to take the appropriate pictures of “The Last Day of School,” so we could compare them to the shots we took on the first day of school. There was a noticeable bit of nervousness in me as we all walked to school. Something about last days that fill me with melancholy and the feeling of saying goodbye to people you’d grown accustom to seeing daily. The kid bounded off with her friends into school. No one really works on the last day – it’s just a fart around day.

    My next task was to take the car in to be serviced. As Summer is almost here, we are about to start our serious driving season – traipsing around the Mid-Atlantic states, and New England as well. I never thought I would be the type of New Yorker who owned a car in the City, yet here I am. And as such, the responsibilities of car ownership are thrown on me – the maintaining of our car which requires that I drive it to the service center on the westside of Midtown. I like to take West End Avenue to get down there, as it’s an avenue, and an area of the City that I am never in. Full of big old apartment buildings that I’m guessing were built in the 1920’s or so. It is a land of doormen, and people who have to go to work, but well to do jobs, because these people have expensive bills. Like I said, it’s a part of New York I never go to, so I always feel like an explorer when I am there.

    Then to round out my morning, I hit up the Trader Joe’s on 93rd. In the mornings, the place is a mix of older people, and people who look like they just got done working out, and aren’t in a hurry to get to work. Usually, I’m in and out rather quickly. I don’t dottle as this isn’t my favorite chore. Today though, 93rd TJ’s music player was ripping it up with some forgotten 90’s rock. Yes! I am now their target demographic, and they are catering to me! About damn time! Awesome choice with the 311 – and maybe I was too harsh to them when they came out! “I Alone”!!! I haven’t heard that song in years. Alive was a great band! Remember Alive? Me either! Because their name is actually Live. Good memory, I have…

    Now home, it’s blog and making a Summer playlist for all the driving that I’ll be doing. Yes, Live and 311 might make the cut. Going to eat lunch and pick the kid up from school. Hopefully the rain will hold off so she can have some park time with her friends. I still have to make dinner, and start planning the rest of her vacation.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Bad Movie Bible, Stuck in the Rain, and Father’s Day Gifts

    (If anyone needs me, I’ll be in the shower…)

    For those who know me, and for the other four people who read this, you know that I love the show Mystery Science Theater 3000, and bad movies in general. As soon as I got a Blockbuster card as a teenager, I was renting only the best of the really awful movies, usually to watch with friends on Friday or Saturday nights in junior and high school. (I was a popular cool kid, if you couldn’t tell.) That was a happy time in my life, and when I have a rough day, an episode of MST3k, or an awful movie hidden deep in Amazon Prime Video (they really do have the schlocky-ist of movies) will quickly get me back on track to a better mood. About a month ago, The Great God Algorithm of YouTube decreed that I needed to start watching the videos of The Bad Movie Bible, which is created and hosted by Rob Hill. (I thank Thee, Great God of the Algorithm, for this gift!) Hill is a hilarious encyclopedia of awful movies, and with his dead pan delivery and spot on editing of clips, he has created some of the best and funniest videos detailing specific genres of bad movies. My favorite series he has are the “Borrowing Blockbuster” videos that go into detail on all the knock off movies that came out to cash in on the success of huge hit movies – like Star Wars, Jaws, Die Hard, etc.… I respect Hill’s commitment to movies that most people write off, and at the same time I am amazed at his stamina to handle what must feel like an unending onslaught of awfulness.

    Today, I did the Alt Side Parking dance of moving the car. No big deal, went as normal as all the other days that I do it. But as I walked home, it started to rain. I didn’t know it was supposed to rain early today; I was told this afternoon. And as such, I had no raincoat or umbrella. I was a guy caught out in the rain, a few blocks from home. So, I walked in the rain and got soaked. It occurred to me that I haven’t been caught in the rain in a long time, like ten years maybe. Once I accepted that I was going to get soaked, it was a rather enjoyable experience.

    My wife and kid got me a Tottenham Hotspur t-shirt, and supporter’s pin for Father’s Day. That made me very happy.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Masking Up Again, Tom Tom Club, The Simpsons Renaissance, and Summer

    (Raise expectations to a new intention)

    Honestly; I’m pretty glad that we didn’t throw away all of our Covid masks. The smoke in New York on Wednesday was insane. Everything was shrouded in an orange haze, blocking out the sun. It was like sitting in front of a camp fire with the smoke blowing in your face. It didn’t feel good, and hurt my eyes and the back of my throat. I am glad that we pulled the A/C’s from storage last month, as that made the apartment livable with the windows closed. Walking the dog wasn’t fun, as I was back to having a mask on, stumbling around the neighborhood. It makes me think the end of the world won’t be sudden, but more like a slow car pile-up of minor inconveniences.

    I swear, I am so late to the party on everything. I just discovered the Tom Tom Club the other day.

    And The Simpsons have started getting better. A good friend sent me an article in Vulture about just that. After reading it, I started re-watching the last two seasons, and I have to agree.

    The kid only has eleven school days left before Summer vacation officially starts. But, we’re on Summer vacation. The kid has checked out; I’ve checked out; the wife wants to check out; the dog wants to get a puppy short cut so she can check out, too. Funny, but for the last two years, I have started to look forward to the coming of Summer. Before, growing up in Texas, Summer was a never ending season of just feeling uncomfortable. Mind you, Summer’s in New York can be very humid, sticky and awful, but it’s done after three months. (In Texas, it can go on for six months!) And I am sure it has everything to do with the kid, but Summer now means road trips, and hikes, and water parks, and experiences. I’m ready for it.