Tag: Mental Health

  • I Finished “Breakfast of Champions”

    When I first read Vonnegut’s “Breakfast of Champions or Goodbye Blue Monday” I think I was nineteen or twenty. I was eating up just about everything the guy wrote. I remember loving the book so much that I tried to push it off on just about anyone who would listen. My best friend latched on to the book just like I did, and we still will state that “BoC” is our favorite Vonnegut novel.

    I read the book only once, or, at least I have no memory of reading it a second time. I say this because I recently re-read “BoC”, as I am going through all the books that I feel influenced me to want to become a writer. What I remember about the book is that it played with structure, and storytelling. I remember Vonnegut putting himself in his own book, and I thought that was such an interesting choice as I felt that part of the reason for the book was Kurt dealing with his own mental issues and his anxiety over having these issues, just like his mother had.

    Having just reread the book, I had totally forgotten have much the novel deals with racism. I mean, I remembered that some of the characters said some racist shit, but when I was reading the book again, I see that Vonnegut was full force attacking the image of Heartland Midwestern good honest Americans, by saying that these people were just as racist and bigoted as the people in “down south.” It felt like a contempt, a deep contempt for the people that Vonnegut grew up with in Indiana, and America on a whole. There were some things that were very dated from the early 70’s, but Vonnegut’s take on embedded racism, still felt very current. The novel is a dark satire, and at some points felt very nihilistic, yet Kurt’s writing still was hilarious and fast paced.

    And then I started to wonder why I had forgotten about all of the racism? Why had that not resonated, and stuck with me? I know that I am getting older, and the last time I read the book was 25 years ago, so I’m not surprised that I don’t remember all the details. But, if you asked me a month ago what “BoC” was a bout, I would have told you mental health, and I would have been very confident in that answer. I don’t think I would have actively tried to forget that the book was about racism, yet I did forget about it.

    There really isn’t an answer here, just an observation on myself. Just a reading machine who is trying to be a thinking machine.

  • Wise or Just Really, Really Cynical

    I always thought of myself as a very wise man. I think the wisest I have ever been was when I was between the age of 17 to 19. Just ask my parents. Sadly, it’s been downhill since then.

    Being that I am 45, an outsider might look at me, or really just my age, and ask, “What wisdom have you learned in all of your years?”

    And the only true bit of wisdom that I have, which I can pass on, is that if, on a weekend, you are going to cross the George Washington Bridge back into Manhattan, then you got to do it before 4pm. You can take that to the bank. Rock solid advice that I gained through experience, and has yet to let me down.

    But wisdom can lead to cynicism.

    And I say all of this because of a drug commercial that I saw on tv early this morning, you know with the morning news shows that try to cheer you up. In the commercial, a middle-aged woman, and due to the gray hair, I would say that they are implying that she is closer to 60 than 50, is working at a grocery store. She has a condition of unintentional body movements due to mental health. Luckily, there is a drug for that now.

    Even though I have watched this commercial without giving it much thought, for what seems like a month, something dawned on me today; This ad is implying that a late middle-aged woman, who is a stocker at a local grocery store, is somehow earning enough money from this job to afford health insurance, either through her company or the market place, and the insurance is the type that will cover the cost of this drug. And she is doing all of this while, and I know this to be true because she is using this drug, she is dealing with mental health issues.

    I said all of this to my wife, while following up by asking her, “Am I reading too much into this, or is my cynicism justified?”

    Just so you know, the drugs name is AUSTEDO, and 60 pills will cost you, with a coupon at CVS, $6,810. Without the coupon, it’s $10,706.94. AND just so you also know, the parent company that makes AUSTEDO is Teva Pharmaceuticals, which has been sued for price fixing, and for over prescribing opioids. They have settled a bunch of law suits for hundreds of millions of dollars. They don’t have a stellar track record of late.

    My cynicism is the evidence of my wisdom. Though, I can admit, it does lead me to have a pessimistic view of the world. But, it could be worse. I could be in the marketing department of Teva, trying to push an overpriced, bankrupt educing drug on the world.