Tag: #Memories

  • Nothing Particular

    The domesticity of my life has taken precedence today. Meaning that I had to make a meal plan for the family, and then go grocery shopping. The chores that need to be accomplished for the stay at home parent. I’m not complaining about these tasks, but I was bad at planning them this week. Normally I make the plan and shopping list the night before, so that I can go take care of it as soon as I get done dropping the kid off at school. Thus, freeing up the rest of the day for things I want to do.

    So, I got a late start today, and as such, I am writing later than I was planning. Some days are like that. Some days are just go go go, and I don’t get what I want. It has to be delayed, because I’m a grown up, and that’s what life is sometimes like for a grown up.

    And as I ran my errands, walking through the Upper West Side to get to the Trader Joe’s, the pang of missing my mother hit me. Not crushing, but just that a pang because out of nowhere, I thought about her stuffed peppers that she used to make, and home the smell of those peppers cooking would permeate the entire house, and how I hated that smell as it informed me of a meal that I wouldn’t enjoy, but there was no sense in complaining. The rest of the family loved it, and I was the odd man out that would have to put up with it. And even if my mother magically came back and made stuffed peppers for me, I still would not eat it. That meal sucked.  

  • Memories of Apple Picking

    When the wife and I were dating, we never went apple picking. Around here, it’s an easy “Cute Date” you can have. You know, rent a car, go upstate, dress in flannel and sweaters, take lots of pictures that involve hugging while holding apples. We used to make fun of people who did it.

    Then time passed, we had a kid, and my parents came to visit one year in the Autumn, and as we were trying to think of things to do with them, we went apple picking. And it was fun. Holding a plastic bag, pulling apples off a tree, walking around eating them, and talking. Talking with my Mom while she held her granddaughters’ hand.

    When my parents came to visit, none of us had any idea that we had limited time left. I mean, you never really know that. You never know that, that goodbye, might just be the last goodbye. My Mom wanted to come back in the Autumn again, to apple pick, to look at the foliage. It just didn’t work out that way.

    And so, when Fall rolled around, we headed out to the farm, to pick the apples, like all the other people from the City. This year, we brought the dog, which was a nice change up. We got out the plastic bags, I put on my flannel, and the wife wore a sweater. We picked apples, and tasted them, and talked. And I took pictures, so, you know, we can keep the memories alive.

  • Vacationing in Maine

    Our family vacation last week was in Maine, and this was the second time that we have stayed up there. The first time was three years ago, and that was along the coast, south of Portland. This time around we stayed up north in Newry, not too far from the Sunday River Ski Resort. We were sort of counter programming our vacation, as most people want to be near the water in the summer, and we did get a better deal being near the mountains.

    I’m not sure when Maine showed up on our vacation radar. We had visited Vermont before, and loved it. The wife’s extended family is from Connecticut, so we have spent time there with them, as well as in New Hampshire. A few years ago, I almost got a job in Rhode Island, and we went up there to check it out, and did really fall in love with that state. (Funny how two Texans fell for the smallest state.) Yet, Maine never crossed our minds as a place to visit.

    Then three years ago, my parents were taking a full East Coast road tour in their RV, and as they came through New England, we rented a car and joined them. This was over Memorial Day and the start of June 2018, and where we all ended up going was Rhode Island, which we all had a good time at.

    But when we got up to our vacation place at Camp Ellis, Maine, just four blocks from the beach, the trip took on a different dynamic for all of us. At night, you would go to sleep listening to the sound of the waves coming in on the ocean. The kid played in the sand at the beach, I had martinis with my folks, and the house we stayed in had a lobster pot, crackers and picks, so the wife tried her hand steaming lobsters for us. It was a good time, and a great vacation.

    It was also the last time I got to spend time with my mother before she died. I know you can never recreate past experiences or memories, but it was fun being up there again – with the cool evenings, and beach days, and even going to the L.L. Bean store in Freeport.

  • The Kid’s First Time Being Homesick

    Our daughter has been visiting friends for the past few days. She has been looking forward to this trip for months! She was getting to travel, be in a house that had a pool, hang out with other kids all day, and have a summer adventure.

    When we dropped off the kid, she couldn’t have given two craps that we were leaving. She was excited and laughing, and wanted to be away from us. There was a little sting with her being so blasé with our exit, but on a more important level, I was happy that she wasn’t having any separation issues. We FaceTimed each night, and she was bubbling over telling us all about the fun she was having, but the call always ended with her telling us that she loved us and missed us.

    Last night on our call, the kid was talking all about the fun they had, and then she got quite, and started to silently sob little tears. Oh, our hearts just broke. “I want to see you, here,” she cried, “I miss you.” We tried to console her, letting her know that we would all be together soon, and how much we loved her.

    This is also normal. This is the longest we have all been apart, and it’s especially hard on her. I also feel very helpless as all can do is try and comfort her through a computer screen. When what we all want is a big long silly hug.

    I remember that feeling of being away from your parents and never really knowing when you will see them again. When I was her age, I remember being upset, and my aunt called my mother so I could talk to her on the phone. My Ma would calm me down and tell me that she loved me and that we would all be together again, very soon. And it would help. But that lonely missing feeling never really went away in me; it was in the back of my head making butterflies in my stomach.

    I do hope my little girl is having fun today, and not missing us too bad. Though I expect that the next hug I get from her will be pretty tight and a little long.

  • Summer Grocery Shopping

    The school year is coming to a close here in NYC. As of this moment we only have 6 days left of remote school, and we all can’t wait for it to be over. Come September, the kid will be back in class, like a normal elementary schooler, and there will be so much joy and excitement for that occasion, it already feels like it’s going to be Christmas Morning on that first day of school.

    In the meantime, it’s still the Dad/Daughter Experience for the Summer.

    Yesterday, as we got out of class early, I had to go shopping at Trader Joe’s. I didn’t see any reason why the kid couldn’t come with me, as the store is allowing people to shop together again. If nothing else, it would kill an hour of the day, which was better than her watching TV.

    Getting there did mean a subway ride, which is slowly beginning to feel normal to me again. For the kid, mass transit is still an adventure, and now it’s more exciting as she can read, and loves checking out all the ads on the train. Stepping down into one station, and then appearing out of another, is like magic as you get transported to a whole new world; Like the Upper West Side. Once in the store, she was a good kid, and is now big enough to push the cart for me, unassisted, so she was really helping out, and not fake praise helping out.

    As we walked to the subway station to go back to Harlem, the kid was excited about the ice cream we had bought, and I wondered how much of this she would remember later in life. I have foggy relocations of going grocery shopping with my mother during summer vacation when I was my kids age, and at the time it was just a thing we did, but now it has taken on more of a melancholy reminiscence. A very important mundane experience that I value more today.