Tag: Life

  • The Age of Dinner Parties

    The Age of Dinner Parties

    The other day, the kid was asking me and the wife lots of questions of what our life was like before she was born. It’s a fair and very good question, or more accurately, questions that she was asking us. The wife and I were together for nine years before the kid was born, so we had a good amount of time of being a couple before we became a family.

    As I reminisced about our past life, it dawned on me that we had a very unique period of about two years, where we host other couples at our place for dinner parties. And on the flip of that, we were invited over to several couples dinner parties. It was a very specific time of us and all of our friends, as we were entering our thirties, beginning to be established in careers, all in committed relationships, but we weren’t married yet and didn’t have kids. I mean, as soon as people started getting married, kids weren’t far behind, and then some started moving out of the City.

    I still have a Spotify playlist for one of our dinner parties from long ago.

    It was a fun time. Usually we hosted on a Saturday night. The wife, at the time the girlfriend, would come up with the menu and I would shop for it over the week. We’d do some prep on Friday night, and most of that would be the making of the desert. The wife was the chef and I the assistant. My strength was in cutting veggies, and making drinks. The wife did the heavy lifting for the rest of the food. We made a really good team in the kitchen, and by the time the other couple arrived, I only had the entertain for maybe 30 minutes and then we were eating.

    The other side that I miss was the conversation. Most of the time, it always started off the same way. When the guests would arrive, we’d talk about what trains they took to get to our place, and transit in general. Next we’d sit for the meal, and the conversation would move to food; either on cooking or places we’d eaten at recently. By the time desert came around, people had a drink or two, then things got really fun. People would tell stories, or experiences they had, or a friendly debate would occur. It was the moment when we started really getting to know people, who they were, and how they worked.

    I remember that after one particular fun and engaging dinner party, me and the wife high-fived after the guests left because we were so excited and proud of ourselves for hosting such a good evening.

    But things changed, and having an adult evening over at someone’s place, only adults, is a pretty rare thing now. I’m not complaining, because it was a moment of our lives that existed for a very specific time, and place.

    Just hadn’t thought about it in a while.

  • That Nap Ruined My Day

    We all make mistakes.

    In fact, here’s the one I made today.

    The kid had a half day at school, so she was home by 1pm. Before I went and got her, I did all the tasks and errands that I needed to do; balanced the checkbook, did the dishes, plugged in and ran the AC’s, got the kid from school, and made lunch. I even wrote in my journal, and did a good bit of reading – caught up on some flash pieces I have been meaning to read and finished a book of short stories.

    The kid had some homework, and we both sat down on the couch to do it. I don’t do the homework, I’m more along for moral support, and encouragement. Anyway, as I was sitting there, being that I’m not needed a whole lot, I decided that I should start reading another book. I got about 2 pages into it, and I fell asleep. Now, it wasn’t a deep sleep, but it was 45 minutes. I only woke up because the kid nudged me to ask if I was sleeping.

    But for the life of me, I haven’t been able to get myself back in gear. It’s like I’m walking through sand now. I’m so sluggish and foggy brained. I had plans for the second half of the afternoon, but I can’t seem to focus. Honestly, it’s taken me an hour to get myself to just sit down and do this.

    Hell, I promised the kid we’d go running in the park, and I still have to make dinner. I thought I was going to review a story but that doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards.

    I swear, if I nap for fifteen minutes, I am solid and refreshed. But anything over that amount of time, it’s like a crap shoot – God only knows how I’m going to react.

    I think I can blame this one on getting older.

  • The Air Conditioners

    The Air Conditioners

    The Summer heat is coming. It’s supposed to be 80 today, 85 on Wednesday, and 90 on Thursday. And then there is also the humidity that will come along as well. The hot, sticky, and smelly New York Summer is just around the corner.

    We are ready for it.

    We’ve had our A/C’s in the windows since early May. Those machines have been cleaned from top to bottom, and we even tested them on a day that was a very comfortable 80. It’s just a matter of time before we shut the windows, and turn them on.

    And when those windows get shut, they won’t open back up until September. It is like battening the hatches around here. The apartment will become this self-contained island of artificial air. It’s like being in a submarine, or a spaceship.

    When I was a kid growing up in Texas, our house had central A/C, as do almost all houses down there. It seems like the air ran non-stop, but I know that’s not true. There is a specific sound from my childhood that takes me back, and it’s the sound of the A/C unit clicking on, and the slow drone of the air moving through the vents. I can almost touch that sounds, it’s so tactile to me. I can feel that air blowing on me as a little kid playing in my room.

    Having lived in Texas, there really is a line of demarcation for Texans. There are the Texans like lived in the state before air conditioning, and then there are the Texans who lived with air conditioning. If you’ve experienced a Texas Summer, then you know that the Pre-A/C Texans were pretty tough people.

  • Return of the Sketchbook

    If there was one thing in life that I could fix, it would be to make it easier to hold on to good habits. I am great at creating and sustaining bad habits; I’m master at that. But good habits? Hell no. Even if I do follow the three-month rule, you know, if do anything for three months then it will become a habit; Even if I do that, for something that is good for me, if I take one day off, I will never return to that good habit.

    Case in point, and it’s not the gym, I used to be very good at drawing something just about every day in my sketchbook. A while ago, I remember reading a profile on the painter Chris Ofili, and in it Ofili described his daily routine which was that when he woke up in the morning, he would do a sketch. I thought that was a pretty good idea, and from my perspective, drawing a sketch everyday means that you are creative and accomplishing something, every day. So, I tried to keep that up.

    And sadly, I couldn’t. I go through periods where I’m on top of it. Especially with the kid, she has several sketchbooks, and it’s an activity that we can do together. But at some point, something comes up and the habit gets broken all over again. The current sketchbook that I have was started back in 2022. I’ve almost filled it up, but still, you know – there really isn’t an excuse for three years.

    So, today, I decided to get back on that horse. No more of looking at my sketchbook on my desk, gather dust. Nope. It’s time for me to get some more creativity flowing, even if the drawing is basic and simple. Getting started and creating the habit is the point, regardless of what the sketch looks like.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Lists Lists Lists, Dog Toys, and Lunch

    ODDS and ENDS: Lists Lists Lists, Dog Toys, and Lunch

    (All the things that come to you…)

    (Personally, I disagree with this A.I. created image as it did not incorporate Rodney Dangerfield.)

    It’s that time of year. The time when I get in into my head that over the kid’s Summer Vacation, I am going to get a crap ton of projects accomplished. There is so much work to do on this apartment that I am excited! No! I am THRILLED! Thrilled at the opportunity to get started and make this place feel like a home. Not that it doesn’t feel like a home – But I want it to be a home that smells like fresh paint! And to do this, I need LISTS! Ton’s of them! Some on my phone, some on my computer, some in my head, some in my wife’s head. I want to make a list of my LISTS! This is the only way I can keep track, and validate how I have spent my time this Summer! Ung! This is the season of the LIST! All Hail the List!

    We have had our dog for little over five years now. Besides the occasional peeing on the carpet, the dog has worked out fine. And as a good family who loves their dog, we buy her chew toys, usually around Christmas time, but also randomly throughout the year. As of this moment, the dog has nine chew toys, but really, she has a favorite three that she takes with her. They are her safety blanket. She sleeps with them, will bring them to us when she wants to play, or thinks we’re having a bad day. Like a kid, she’ll leave them in the middle of the floor, and become jealous when we try to pick them up. Oh, and they all smell awful. The odor is so completely vexing that smell the toy before you can place it’s location. Yet, not matter how awful the smell, we cannot throw them out. No, that would destroy the dog’s will to live. We’re not that cruel.

    Ah, lunch; the middle child of meals. Not as important as breakfast, not as flashy as dinner. Lunch, the meal that has to be gotten through – at least that’s how I thought of it when I was working outside of home. I ate often at my desk, scarfing down food because I had something that I needed to work on. Sure there was a business lunch from time to time, or meeting up with a friend, but those were rare. No, working lunch wasn’t full of enjoyment. Even now, in stay-at-home land, lunch is usually leftovers. (Though, my leftovers are pretty good – humble brag here on my cooking.) See, I can make a big breakfast for my family, as well as a big dinner; but when it comes to lunch, I feel the need to produce something to eat as fast as possible. Part of the reason is that I feel like there is something else I need to do, so I can’t put that much time and effort into this meal. Not that this sentiment is true, but it’s how it feels. Maybe lunch is more like Rodney Dangerfield.