Tag: Life

  • The Bored Days of Summer (Unedited)

    We got three days into Summer Vacation, and the kid announced that she was bored.

    “There’s nothing to do”

    “No one to talk to”

    “Nothing to watch”

    “Nothing to read”

    “Nothing to listen to”

    I think you get the idea.

    Not surprised to hear her say this. All kids get bored when they have too much time on their hands. When the get too much freedom, it becomes repressive. As I am the stay at home dad, I get the brunt of the kid’s complaints, and she looks to me to solve this problem of hers.

    My first reaction was to tell her that it’s not my job to eliminate her boredom.

    But as soon as I said that, it dawned on me that it really is my job to end her boredom. Look, if I don’t get involved then she will want to zombie out on the iPad, and that is the worst thing that could happen.

    I’m not saying that she won’t get on the iPad this Summer, but I want to limit that as much as possible.

    Now, I don’t want to create mindless things for her to do, such as dumping a bunch of chores on her. There is no joy or magical memories that come from that. No, what I want to do is encourage healthy habits while also spending time together. (She will help me paint the livingroom this Summer, so she does have one huge chore, but we’ve been talking about that for months now.) I want her to stay active, so we are going to go running, and work on her soccer skills. I also want to keep her reading up, so we need to set time aside for that. She’s brought up that she wants to go to a museum, so that will take care of the art side of things. And I want to encourage her to think about the food she wants to learn how to make, and then we can work on recipe testing.

    IN the end, what I know to be true is that you only get to have so many Summers as a kid. When the days are hot but not too hot, and the Summer feels like it stretches on forever. In two or three years, I really won’t see her over the Summer, as she’ll be involved in something, or will be hanging out with her friends. Until then, I want to make sure she has some memories of enjoying time with her dad. Doing stupid stuff while trying to avoid being bored.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Car Tires, Father’s Day, and No Kings

    (I don’t give a damn ‘bout my reputation…)

    What are you doing this weekend? Me? I’m getting new back tires got my car. I was hoping to schedule a root canal, but the dentist was busy so I decided to do the second most annoyingly painful thing I could. Sure, I like having a car, but I’m not big on maintaining a car. You know, it’s like shoe shopping for the car, and I need to do it before the Summer when we start driving a whole lot. Ung… just not in the mood for it. (There’s no real story here, I’m just complaining.) But I gotta do it, I gotta do it, gotta do it, do it, it!

    What am I doing on Father’s Day? Buying tires! I wonder if they run a special for new tires on Father’s Day? If not, they should. No, I’ll get a nice lox bagel that the wife will order for delivery, and then I will need to drive to the tire place while the wife and kid hang out at home.

    This seems about right.

    But before all of that fun, there is that issue of NO KINGS. If you haven’t heard, there are nation wide, peaceful protest marches planned for Saturday June 14th in reaction to the growing authoritarian threat from Trump and his administration. In case you forgot, this is a nation of no kings, and it’s time to start reminding everyone, including ourselves, that We The People are in charge; that this is a government of the people, by the people, and for the people. I encourage you to join the protest, to peacefully march, and share your voice. If you can’t make it out, then watch the live cast, share videos and messages on social media. This is not a day to be silent. There are many ways to participate, and we all need to pitch in and hold to the ideals that our nation was founded on.

  • The Age of Dinner Parties

    The Age of Dinner Parties

    The other day, the kid was asking me and the wife lots of questions of what our life was like before she was born. It’s a fair and very good question, or more accurately, questions that she was asking us. The wife and I were together for nine years before the kid was born, so we had a good amount of time of being a couple before we became a family.

    As I reminisced about our past life, it dawned on me that we had a very unique period of about two years, where we host other couples at our place for dinner parties. And on the flip of that, we were invited over to several couples dinner parties. It was a very specific time of us and all of our friends, as we were entering our thirties, beginning to be established in careers, all in committed relationships, but we weren’t married yet and didn’t have kids. I mean, as soon as people started getting married, kids weren’t far behind, and then some started moving out of the City.

    I still have a Spotify playlist for one of our dinner parties from long ago.

    It was a fun time. Usually we hosted on a Saturday night. The wife, at the time the girlfriend, would come up with the menu and I would shop for it over the week. We’d do some prep on Friday night, and most of that would be the making of the desert. The wife was the chef and I the assistant. My strength was in cutting veggies, and making drinks. The wife did the heavy lifting for the rest of the food. We made a really good team in the kitchen, and by the time the other couple arrived, I only had the entertain for maybe 30 minutes and then we were eating.

    The other side that I miss was the conversation. Most of the time, it always started off the same way. When the guests would arrive, we’d talk about what trains they took to get to our place, and transit in general. Next we’d sit for the meal, and the conversation would move to food; either on cooking or places we’d eaten at recently. By the time desert came around, people had a drink or two, then things got really fun. People would tell stories, or experiences they had, or a friendly debate would occur. It was the moment when we started really getting to know people, who they were, and how they worked.

    I remember that after one particular fun and engaging dinner party, me and the wife high-fived after the guests left because we were so excited and proud of ourselves for hosting such a good evening.

    But things changed, and having an adult evening over at someone’s place, only adults, is a pretty rare thing now. I’m not complaining, because it was a moment of our lives that existed for a very specific time, and place.

    Just hadn’t thought about it in a while.

  • That Nap Ruined My Day

    We all make mistakes.

    In fact, here’s the one I made today.

    The kid had a half day at school, so she was home by 1pm. Before I went and got her, I did all the tasks and errands that I needed to do; balanced the checkbook, did the dishes, plugged in and ran the AC’s, got the kid from school, and made lunch. I even wrote in my journal, and did a good bit of reading – caught up on some flash pieces I have been meaning to read and finished a book of short stories.

    The kid had some homework, and we both sat down on the couch to do it. I don’t do the homework, I’m more along for moral support, and encouragement. Anyway, as I was sitting there, being that I’m not needed a whole lot, I decided that I should start reading another book. I got about 2 pages into it, and I fell asleep. Now, it wasn’t a deep sleep, but it was 45 minutes. I only woke up because the kid nudged me to ask if I was sleeping.

    But for the life of me, I haven’t been able to get myself back in gear. It’s like I’m walking through sand now. I’m so sluggish and foggy brained. I had plans for the second half of the afternoon, but I can’t seem to focus. Honestly, it’s taken me an hour to get myself to just sit down and do this.

    Hell, I promised the kid we’d go running in the park, and I still have to make dinner. I thought I was going to review a story but that doesn’t seem like it’s in the cards.

    I swear, if I nap for fifteen minutes, I am solid and refreshed. But anything over that amount of time, it’s like a crap shoot – God only knows how I’m going to react.

    I think I can blame this one on getting older.

  • The Air Conditioners

    The Air Conditioners

    The Summer heat is coming. It’s supposed to be 80 today, 85 on Wednesday, and 90 on Thursday. And then there is also the humidity that will come along as well. The hot, sticky, and smelly New York Summer is just around the corner.

    We are ready for it.

    We’ve had our A/C’s in the windows since early May. Those machines have been cleaned from top to bottom, and we even tested them on a day that was a very comfortable 80. It’s just a matter of time before we shut the windows, and turn them on.

    And when those windows get shut, they won’t open back up until September. It is like battening the hatches around here. The apartment will become this self-contained island of artificial air. It’s like being in a submarine, or a spaceship.

    When I was a kid growing up in Texas, our house had central A/C, as do almost all houses down there. It seems like the air ran non-stop, but I know that’s not true. There is a specific sound from my childhood that takes me back, and it’s the sound of the A/C unit clicking on, and the slow drone of the air moving through the vents. I can almost touch that sounds, it’s so tactile to me. I can feel that air blowing on me as a little kid playing in my room.

    Having lived in Texas, there really is a line of demarcation for Texans. There are the Texans like lived in the state before air conditioning, and then there are the Texans who lived with air conditioning. If you’ve experienced a Texas Summer, then you know that the Pre-A/C Texans were pretty tough people.