Tag: Kid

  • Painting Our Bedroom

    This past weekend was THE weekend for us to get our big Summer task accomplished; Painting our Bedroom.

    This has been a slow project of remodeling our bedroom, and making a space that we are both happy to be in. See, our bedroom has had to function as an office as well, and to accomplish this, we got ourselves a Murphy-bed a little over three years ago. And though I was against this type of bed, I have to admit that my hesitations were unfounded. We do live in a tiny New York City apartment, and every inch has to be functional and not wasted. But the rest of the room has been a hodge-podge of Ikea furniture that used to be in the livingroom, or in the kid’s room. Outside of the bed, everything else in our room is second hand news.

    Two years ago, we did a complete re-do on the kid’s bedroom. She was growing out of little kid stuff, and was knocking hard at being a tween, so we wanted to give her a room that felt more appropriate to who she is. When we finished up the kid’s space, the wife and I said that our room was next.

    Two years later, after much, and I mean MUCH, debate – we have landed on what we want, can afford, and most importantly, fit into our space.

    To start this whole process, we had to start with the walls. Well, I started with the walls by patching holes, sanding, and getting everything ready. When I patch the holes in our walls (these are the anchor holes for shelves, hooks, and pictures) it is a walk down the history of the wife and I in the apartment. All the different arrangements we have tried before the kid and after. I can also say that with over fifteen years of patching holes, I am getting pretty good at it.

    Then this weekend, we painted. The ceiling got a nice hue of primer white, while the walls got a good treatment of this aqua/blue color that has made the bedroom have this strange New England beach house feel. The furniture will be white with natural wood for the doors, drawers, and handles. I still need to finish painting the rest of the dark wood trim white, but it’s not a big room and I can knock that out in another weekend.

    When it was all completed, besides feeling exhausted and aching in weird parts of my body, there was a satisfaction in accomplishing a task that will help us relax. Sometimes, it feels like we are still coming out of Covid. What I mean by that is that we are still hanging on to some of our “bunker mentality” which is manifesting in the fact that we haven’t allowed us to have a room, a space, that is for us. Covid made us try to make the kid’s life as normal as possible, and be comfortable. She came first, and everything else, especially if it was for us, could be put off.

    It’s taken us awhile to say that the kid’s okay, we did our job very well, and that we shouldn’t feel guilty if we want to do something nice for ourselves. Like painting the walls in our bedroom.

  • School Performances

    My kid had a school performance this morning. It wasn’t a play; it was a review of songs. Each class came out on stage and did a song. I must say that the program was run very smartly and efficiently. It started on time, and ended early – of all things. I give all the credit to the theatre and music teacher; they did an outstanding job. I would say that a great many professional theatre artists could learn a great deal on running a show from these teachers.

    As I sat in the back of the house, I can’t deny the sense of beaming pride that shone off of me. The wife too, and, well, all the other parents there, too. Oh, parents are such a subjective, unreliable audience. Our opinions cannot be taken seriously. Yes, we would applaud our kids burping the National Anthem.

    I began to wonder, and I know the answer is yes, but even going all the way back to the 4th Century BC, were Athenian parents also swooning over their kids as they performed in Dionysian Festival of Theatre? When the chorus of children filed out on stage and began to recite lines backing up Oedipus, there must have been mothers and fathers beaming and bragging about how amazing their child was. Even when masks fell off kid’s faces, and the deus ex machina locked up stranding an actor in the air, those parents still spoke about how their kid was just as good as Thespis.

    Yeah, sure, the more things change, the more the stay the same – a truth that cannot be avoided in this situation. I always knew that when I became a father that eventually, I would be in a school auditorium watching my kid on a stage with other kids, half of them desperately not wanting to be up there, performing something – and probably not well.

    But not today. No, my kid was awesome on stage. She is a naturally talented performer.

  • The Ebbs and Flow of Christmas Time (Unedited)

    Christmas time is here again, just in case you didn’t know.

     

    The year has flown by. The tree is up, and we are getting ready to start doing all of the Holiday stuff. You know, shopping, wrapping gift, baking cookies, seeing friends. The usual. And I do enjoy celebrating Christmas in New York City. For all the things this City is famous for, it really is a Holiday Town.

     

    It’s taken awhile for Christmas to start feeling fun again for me after the passing of my Ma. The absence of a parent during this time of year seems to hammer home the void that has been left. I think I have been doing a good job with trying to keep Christmas fun for the kid, and I do worry that my sorrow and mourning might affect her enjoyment of the Season. I think I have succeeded in this effort.

     

    I can also admit that slowly, year by year, the joy of Christmas has started to slowly return to me. It’s still not the same, and certain things, traditions, still don’t ring true as they used to. But now, I feel the kid’s excitement of this time of year, and that is a replenishing feeling that helps alleviate the experience of loss.

     

    And that is where I am now. I miss my mother, and I know that my Christmas will never feel the way they did when she was around, and that’s okay. My Christmas now is about my family, and making the kid have memories, and building something new on top of the love that was shared with me.

  • Back at the Gym

    Okay, I will say that I have been away from the gym for three months. Somewhere in the middle of June I stopped going to work out. The reasons why I stopped going were a bit complicated: The school year was coming to an end, we had a family vacation coming up that I needed to prep for, and I just didn’t feel like going any more.

    Now, I did go to the gym for at least once a week for five months. As the four of you who read this may know, in all that time, I didn’t lose any weight, nor reap the benefits of working out like better sleep, more focus, positive feelings. I still felt and looked like me, just with more sweat and body order.

    So why go back?

    Because I do know that good things happen when you work out, like living longer and shit. I fell off the bandwagon this summer, but I did take into account that I should eat and drink as much as possible if I stopped going to the gym. I had a “Summer of Ice Cream” if that gives you an idea of how I behaved. But, I do want to spend as much time as possible with my kid and wife, and the easiest way to accomplish that is to work out at least thirty minutes a day for three to four times a week.

    Yeah…

    As you can tell, I was never an “eat your vegetables” kind of guy, but I wanted to make the commitment of going to the gym for a year. I will need to come up with some sort of penance for taking that time off, but I would like to follow through all the way to January 2023, and then see where I am at.

    I know what my problem is. Well, I know what two of my problems are. First, I don’t have a clear goal. I just want to stay alive, but that goal has no bench mark to it other than being able to wake up tomorrow. If I actually said something like, I want to lose twenty pounds, or run a 5k, or fit into my old pants and shirts, then that would mean I would really have to work at it, and not do this kid glove thing. The second problem is that I don’t want to admit that I am getting older. That’s really all this is. I’m middle aged, balding and putting on a classic “Dad Bod” gut. I can only buy so many untucked shirts, and stretchy khaki pants, before I give in to t-shirts and sweats. I never had to worry about this stuff before, and now I have to be concerned about weight, health and shit, which only makes me feel older. (Ahh, the classic self-pity middle aged man. Not just for Updike and Roth novels!) I also know that if I don’t want to feel this way, I should either accept who I am right now, or I should make more of an effort in the gym.

    And I just can’t commit to one or the other.

    So, I’ll keep going to the gym, and hope at some point it will click for me, or metaphorically, I will flip the switch and commit to whatever path.

    I mean, I’m paying for the gym, so I might as well go.

    (And if you would like to commit to something, why not commit to giving my blog a like, or a comment, or even share it with your friends. You know, GAINS!)

  • I Make Schedules Only to Break Them

    I had made a schedule for today, and I 100% did not follow it.

    Last week was Spring Break with the kid, and all the plans got thrown out the window. For one, our car got hit while parked on the street, so it’s been in the shop since then. The loss of the vehicle killed all of our plans of getting out of the City. I had this idea that me and the kid would go disc golfing up around Beacon, and then the next day, head to a beach on Long Island. Sounds like fun and we were looking forward to it. I replaced that with going to The Strand one day, and the Museum of Natural History the next. The kid seemed fine with it.

    Anyway, with all of my time last week being spent with the kid, I knew I wasn’t going to get any work done, not that I minded. So, the start of this week, I wanted to hit the ground running. Like I said, I created a schedule for today to make sure I would be able to get everything I wanted to get done, done.

    And the day started out fine. We all got up on time, and made it to school early. I went to the gym to work out, and really got into my run. Came home from the gym, and it just went downhill. Not that it matters, honestly. I’m writing the blog in the afternoon instead of the morning. I have yet to journal, but that will be next, and I know that I won’t get to fiction today.

    BUT! I did get the laundry done, balanced the check book, did some home finance projections for the wife, took down the Easter decorations, made lunch and shopped for dinner. See, I got some shit done.

    On to the next thing