Tag: Happiness

  • Gratitude Lists

    I have been trying the “gratitude list” thing for the past month now.

    In the rendition that I was shone, when you wake up in the morning, you are supposed to make a list of 10 things you are grateful for, but you cannot repeat the same thing day after day. You gotta come up with new ideas. Makes sense, because I can see people cheating at this and putting down their spouse, or kids, or dog… maybe not in that order. The point is that you start off the day on a positive note, listing what you have, or what’s working on your life, or what you have in abundance.

    I won’t lie, it kind’a works. And I say kind’a because you have to have the right attitude for it.

    Here are a few funny things that I have gratitude for at 5:30am on most weekeday:

    Pasta

    Bacon

    Socks without holes

    Gum

    Quiet Neighbors

    Growing Up

    A/C

    Hugs

    Pep Talks

    Flirting

    JUst to name a few…

  • Short Story Review: “Rate Your Happiness” by Catherine Lacey

    (The short story “Rate Your Happiness” by Catherine Lacey appeared in the April 13th, 2026 issue of The New Yorker.)

    Photograph by Tobias Nicolai

    When I finished reading Catherine Lacey’s “Rate Your Happiness” I was reminded of driving a car with a manual transmission. Especially when you don’t put the car in gear and still step on the gas which causes the engine to rev really high, but you don’t go anywhere. In this story, the narrator calls this “meaningless motion” and they’re right. And it’s also very frustrating.

    I understand that the theme of this story was existing in atrophy, and motion that leads to nowhere. Unfortunately, having a protagonist that doesn’t make a decision or choice leaves the ending of the story empty and unsatisfying. There is one sentence in the last paragraph which I think attempts to bring about a conclusion: “Louise returned to the street with real intent, finally carrying her contradictory desires with total clarity…” but I have to say that this sentence is being asking to do a whole lot of heavy lifting for this story. It implies that Louise has made a choice to accept who she is when it comes to how she has reacted to the situations the story has presented. Yet, is it truly a choice when the character is only acknowledging that they don’t make choices? Though an interesting philosophical question, it doesn’t work narratively.

    What “Rate Your Happiness” presents is something that feels akin to the first one or two chapters of a novel. There are a lot of moving parts here, and Lacy does a good job of balancing them in the narrative. No one idea, theme, or character dominates, and it all flows and ripples over each other creating the feeling of a very real and complicated character in the protagonist of Louise. In fact, I enjoyed all the characters that were presented in this story, and wanted to see and hear more from them.

    Like I said, if this was the first chapter of a novel, I’m hooked and I want to see how this plays out. As a short story, the engine is revving up, but we didn’t go anywhere.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Ravenous Day, Cooking, and Don’t Be an Angry Old Dude

    ODDS and ENDS: Ravenous Day, Cooking, and Don’t Be an Angry Old Dude

    (Sweet Dionysus
    She never really liked us…)

    I was hungry all day yesterday. And I mean all day; morning to night, and then again this morning when I woke up. I remember that back in my twenties this would happen to me often enough to name this affliction – A Ravenous Day. On these days, no matter how much I ate, or how often I ate, I would never feel full or satiated. Yesterday was A Ravenous Day, and I did my best to handle this situation in the healthiest way possible, but fruits and veg wouldn’t cut it. I tried salty, but that wouldn’t end it. I tried sweet, but that seemed to make everything worse. I even tried cold pizza at 2am. Nothing worked. I stayed hydrated, and out of the heat, as if that had something do with it. I am bottomless pit.

    I really love cooking for my family. Even with the kid at camp, and it’s just me and the wife, I want to cook for her. I tried Thai fried rice and spring rolls the other night. I had never done it before, and I thought I should try. The rice turned out well, but my ability at rolling rolls was very much lacking. More practice is needed. It was fun for me to try something new, and in a sense, fail at it. I like the idea that the kid is going to come home from camp, and I will have this new meal for her, and it will be something that she will like. But that feeling, of knowing that I am going to make a food that she likes, that we haven’t made at home before, gives me a feeling of providing for, and taking care of her.

    I refuse to be an angry old dude. Anger will not be my driving emotion. I will not be bitter about how my life has gone. I will be a happy silly old man. I’ve met a few in my life, and I aim to be like them.

  • Happy, Yet Not Secure

    The other day, I was trying to explain to my wife how I feel most days, which is happy but completely insecure. And this, is a vast improvement over the last couple of years.

    The insecurity is not whole heartedly an emotional insecurity. It’s a financial and general safety insecurity. When I have written about our financial situation, I have always tried to be as honest as possible without betraying any personal information – and the honest assessment of our financial situation is that we are in debt. The debt (credit cards, car loans, and student loans) is manageable, but also just large enough to delay us from making sound investments in our future. Though we have made progress, it does feel like this debt will never be overcome, and because of that, the feeling of a disaster being around the corner is always with me. A disaster that will ruin us, or set us back for years. This is the feeling of insecurity that I have daily.

    But I can honestly say that this is the happiest I have been in a very long time. It’s been a little over five years since my mom’s passing, but it still feels recent. It’s difficult losing your mother, and I did have an especially close relationship with mine, and with her gone, everything felt sad. No matter what I did, or my wife did, or the kid did, there was the tinge of sadness always right at the edge of everything. It’s taken awhile, but the joy has started to return, and it’s fully based in an appreciation of the love that is around me. For that, I am grateful that I do have friends and a family to share with.

    Yet, I am left with this dualism in my life; there is so much love and joy, but also I can’t shake the feeling that I have sand underneath my feet. At best I can say that these feelings exist in a balance; nether one is stronger than the other. And the truth is that I often have to force myself to appreciate the joy and love that is around me.

    I believe that being happy is a choice. But security? Do I have to earn that?

  • Happiness

    I have been thinking a lot about what would make me happy. Is there one thing, that if it occurred, I would be happy from now till the end of my days? I mean, is that even possible?

    I have this feeling, a thought in the back of my head, that there isn’t one thing that brings about happiness. Happiness is attained, and also is a choice.

    And, an additional $500 a month would get me really damn close to being happy.

    I guess what I’m saying is that security also is a form of happiness.

    Maybe fulfillment? That can bring about happiness. So.. yeah, sure, I’ll go with that; fulfillment.

    You know, about five years ago, I had a phone interview for a prestigious job in San Francisco, which would have had me working for this really important theatre school. But to be honest, I don’t remember the name of the theatre school, so it wasn’t that prestigious. Anyway, I was on the phone with the head of the whole place, someone very important, and we are hitting it off, and I felt like the job is going to be offered to me. Then the head of the place asks me if I could do anything, what would I do – I didn’t miss a beat and said confidently, “I would be in a cabin in the woods, reading books, and writing.”

    There was a long pause, and I knew that in this pause was the silent sound of this job slipping away because what I should have said was something along the lines of, “Working at this school,” or “Doing theatre,” or anything relating to the job, and not the truth of what would really make me happy.

    Or…

    As I try to ret-con this part of my life, maybe I finally admitted out loud what I really want to do with my life to be happy.

    But I could still use that extra $500, though.