Tag: #Goals

  • Looking for Writing Work

    I am down to the final three months before the kid is back in school, and I need to have a job. I will be honest, working from home would be ideal, but when push comes to shove, and if it’s a good job, then I will be willing to go where I am needed.

    The other thing is that I have been at the blog for 11 months now, and I do value the 4 of you, on average, who come by to check it out. It is a huge improvement over my daily average of .5 people when I started on July 20th. The goal was to write about what I was interested in, and try to craft it in a short, concise way, 250 words per post, that was entertaining, but also made a point. The fact that the blog grew, from 60 subscribers to 215 in less than a year, might not be earth shattering, but at least showed there was interest.

    The other goal was to work on the skills that would enable me to go forth and find employment as a writer. That one is all on me. I think my first desire was to be able to purchase a new computer from the earnings of writing, which is still an admirable objective. I would like to add if I could bring in about $500 a month, I would be over the moon happy.

    So, I stand at this crossroads. If I am serious that this is what I want to do, then I need to start putting in the work to make it happen, at least, more than I am doing right now.

    But, the lingering thought in the back of my head is, I have no idea how to get started… Who do I talk to? Do I need a resume? Writing samples? An introduction? What is the first step? I am here, but I want to get there… Just, how?

  • Why I Still Blog, And Thanks Everyone

    I do feel that from time to time, I have to remind myself what it is that I am doing here. Yelling into the void, used to be what came to mind when I would post a blog. Back in July 2020, when I made a choice to focus and work harder on my writing, this blog was a great place to test out those muscles. The dark void faded away, and I started to see that creative endeavors, no matter how large or small, do serve a purpose, sometimes to an affect that doesn’t seem relevant for some time. After having kept this up for nine months, the one thing I can so for certain is that I can now keep my personal deadlines and goals when it comes to writing.

    The other thing I can say is that I now have over 200 followers! Back in July 2020, I had around 60, so gaining 140 followers in nine months, I take as a compliment. I am also sure the majority of these new followers are not Russian bots. Being that this is a blog which, subject wise, is all over the place, and doesn’t seem to be much more than I guy sharing opinions and trying to learn how to write better, I would like to say thank you for taking the time to read.

    Spasiba!

  • Fixing Nightmares

    I’m just not feeling today. Part of it is that I didn’t sleep well last night, which was due to my mind not shut off. I was having a negative thought downward spiral, where I was listing everything that I was disappoint in about myself, as well as saying to myself over and over again that I will never succeed at anything I truly desire.

    Good times in the self-defeating department.

    And then at about 3 in the morning, the kid woke up from a bad dream, and wanted me to snuggle her back to sleep. That made things a little better. I didn’t ask her what the bad dream was about, as I have found that asking her to relive the nightmare sometimes makes things worse, as it just scares her all over again. What works better is to play a game of naming all the things that makes us happy. We go back and forth, I normally start, and we do this until she either feels better, or falls asleep.

    I start with an easy one;

    Me- Snuggles

    Her – My doll

    Me – Reading books

    Her – Drawing pictures

    Me – Pizza

    Her – Cheesy noodles

    Me – The dog

    Her – Friends at the park

    After a few back and forth’s, she is out. I hold on to her for a minute or two more just to make sure she’s asleep. Then I slow slink out of her room, with the job accomplished.

    Not that I got back to sleep right away, but I tried thinking about the things that keep me going, the goals I have. Generally, I keep it together, but there are those days when everything feels a million miles away, and nothing will change it.

    That is the Covid-isolation brain talking. I have been pretty much doing the same thing for a year now, and it just feels like nothing has changed. But feelings aren’t necessarily facts.

    I’m just tired.

  • Reading and Writing in the Woods

    I follow Yaddo and MacDowell on Instagram. They are both artist residency programs (Check them out here: Yaddo, and MacDowell) and, for me, there is something very aspirational about following them. I think I would like to have a two-week residency with either one. Hell, I would take two days if it was offered to me.

    Have I applied to them? No, but maybe one day.

    I’m not sure if the reason I want to be out there is to be alone in the woods to work in solitude, or it might be that I would like to believe that I would rub elbows with David Sedaris, maybe help him make a communal meal for the colony. (I would have to fight the urge to tell David that I still give Holidays on Ice as a Christmas gift to people.) It’s as if it would be a working, smart person vacation.

    I think I might have told this story before, if so, then just act like its new…

    The last three major job interviews I have had in the past two years, all three have posed the same “personality” question to me; “If you could do anything, what would you do?” We all know the gimmick of this question, and the expected answer is that you are supposed to say, this job that I’m interviewing for. I preferred to answer the question honestly, but in a non-offensive way, by saying, “I would be in a cabin in the woods, reading and writing all day.” (Out of those three interviews, I only landed the job once.) As time has gone on, I see that my answer was more honest than I wanted to be. If I keep saying it, then there is some truth there, maybe on an id level.

    So, I guess I’m setting up a second goal here. The first being earn enough money from writing to buy a computer for my family. The second is to be in the woods reading and writing all day. If Yaddo and MacDowell want to help out with that, it would be greatly appreciated.

  • Confession: Reading Failure

    I have a confession to make. Awhile back, I said that I would read The Stories of John Cheever this fall. Well… as we are now clearly in the middle of winter, I have to admit that I did not read The Stories of John Cheever. In fact, I only read the first story in that book. I looked at that volume every evening on the nightstand as I got into bed, and I would say to myself, “Tomorrow, I’ll get back to it.”

    Yup, I failed at this personal goal. I mean, I didn’t even come close. I wish I could say that I got caught up reading another book, but that isn’t true either. Sadly, my fall and winter reading progress is pretty disappointing.

    And if I am to be fully honest with myself, I only finished three books in all of 2020.

    I’m not saying this to garner sympathy, or to make excuses. Its more that I want to identify what isn’t working. You can’t write if you don’t read.

    What had brought this about is that I am now teaching my daughter how to read, and I want to instill a love of reading. The best way I know to do this is by example, as that is what my parents did for me. It’s not that they told me to read, or made me; reading is what they did for enjoyment.

    Gotta get my shit together. For all of us.