Tag: #Friendship

  • Short Story Review: “We’re Not So Different, You and I” by Simon Rich

    (The short story “We’re Not So Different, You and I” by Simon Rich appeared in the May 13th, 2024 issue of The New Yorker.)

    Illustration by Tim Lahan

    You know, it’s hard to make friends the older you get. Especially for men. When you’re a kid, if someone lived on the same street as you, BOOM! you’d be friends. Then somewhere, later in life, opening yourself up to someone became difficult, and new friendships dried up. And if you add kids and career, making friends gets even more difficult. But, we need friends; It makes life easier to handle, and loneliness can be dangerous.

    On the whole, that’s what “We’re Not So Different, You and I” by Simon Rich is about. Except the loneness comes from a supervillain, Death Skull, who seems to be reaching out and trying to find friendship where he can. He tries with his nemesis, Ultra Man, and later, with a friendship speed dating group. Death Skull contemplates friendship with his henchmen, but there is a power dynamic there, so that doesn’t feel genuine. And though Death Skull has a wife, she has her own circle of friends, and encourages Death Skull to make his own.

    This is, if you haven’t put it together, a humorous story, and the writing is very funny and quick. I hate puns, but I found their use by Rich to be appropriate, and I will admit, made me laugh. Which made me think about how few humorous short stories I encounter, especially in The New Yorker, tbh. It was relief to read something that didn’t have someone dead, about to be killed or die off, or any death in general. It was refreshing, also, to read something that had happy ending.

    The only thing that nagged at the back of my head was the premise of the story; superheroes and villains, acting like normal people, dealing with normal situations, and having normal emotional reactions. This isn’t a new idea:

    Even SNL was playing around with this idea in 1979. Basically, The Incredibles is this idea as well. I’ve encountered this set up in stories, tv shows, movies for years, so maybe it should have its own official genera title? And I get it, the juxtaposition of all-powerful heroes being felled by all too human emotions is intriguing, and leads itself all sorts of funny situations. (I wonder if there is a lost play by Sophocles about Achilles painful anxiety speaking in front of people?) It’s not that the premise doesn’t work here, it’s just that I’ve seen it, and read it, before.

    “We’re Not So Different, You and I” by Simon Rich is a good story, so don’t take that last part too seriously. Making friends is important, and can be very difficult and scary, and that theme wasn’t lost on me. The use of an absurd situation heightened that point, which I give credit to. I’m just most surprised that Rich actually made puns funny.

  • Losing a Best Friend

    Yesterday, my Uncle Arnie passed away. He was my godfather, and he was goofy, silly, and had a very original midwestern accent that I have never been able to replicate. He was a good uncle, a great father, a dedicated husband, and he was my dad’s best friend. They grew up together, and in a funny twist of fate, they ended up marrying sisters, which meant they legally became family to each other. They liked martinis, and in family gatherings, sometimes they had to be separated at the table, because they could be a little rowdy and obnoxious. You know, just like best friends do. My heart just breaks for my Aunt Margaret, who lost her best friend, too. He was a good man, and he will be missed greatly.

    Then the other day, a friend from high school posted that another classmate of ours had died. My friend wrote a very moving post in Facebook, talking about how close they were in school, and even when they followed different paths and lived in different places, they stayed in contact, and stayed close. You could feel through her words how devastated she was in his passing, that there was a hole in her heart now.

    So, best friends, old friends, have been on my mind this weekend. We all make friends, and then those friends end up becoming family. And I miss my friends. I think what I miss most is just listening to them tell me about their lives. Their loves and adventures and experiences. To make them laugh, and vice versa. It is a motley crew of people we choose to share our lives with. Some for a short while, some forever. A friendship really is one of the greatest gifts you can give to someone.

  • Old Friend Birthday Wishes

    Old friends. I was struck by this idea this morning as I texted an old friend from college, wishing him a happy birthday. He’s in Texas, and I am in New York, but to be honest, we could be in the same town and that would not be a guarantee that we would be able to see each other.

    Old friends. I can say that now without irony. I have known him for 20 years. Our friendship is just about to be old enough to drink. I have a hand full of friends that I have known for over 35 years. Those friendships should start thinking about setting up retirement accounts.

    I am missing all of my friends, as we all are. I think things getting Spring-like warm in the City isn’t helping, as this would be the time that I would make an excuse to go take a walk around the park with a friend. To grab a seat on a bench with an old friend, and talk. Nothing complicated, just simple and basic; a conversation.

    Old friends who inhabit those fading pictures that were developed off of film are sprinkled on the walls of my home. The orange-yellowing of those images reflect the sanding of the sharp corners of my memories. It was all fun and silly, though those emotions then were stronger, and deeper, right? Only an old friend of mine could conform my nostalgia, or honesty.

    Happy birthday, old friend, and all of my old friends.

  • After Thanksgiving

    So… I over did it. Yup, we made too much food, and I have been eating leftovers for four days now. I don’t want to step on a scale, as I know it will only tell me a story that I don’t want to hear. I know, I know. I’ll get back to working out in… January.

    This year, as everything has gone to hell, and we had to rethink everything, and we had a bubble Thanksgiving. We got Covid tests, and quarantined for a week so we could spend time with friends and their kid. We all had a great time together, and it was nice to spend time around people again.

    Now, we did what we thought was the right thing, and tried to be as responsible and cautious as possible. But, there still was a little nagging thought in the back of my mind that we shouldn’t be doing this. That the “right” thing to do was to not see anybody. New York’s positivity rate is closing in on 4%, which compared to other parts of the country is nothing. Then again, I remember April and May in this City, when people were moving out and ambulances were running day and night.

    I am very confidant that we all behaved correctly with our given situation. And sadly, I can admit that, we are all getting tired of living in a lock down. The right thing to do is never easy.

  • NYC Almost Back to Normal?

    I had a busy ass day in NYC again.

    I was up early to get the kid ready for school.

    Then I had to move the car for alt-side parking, but got my spot back after the sweeper went by.

    When I got back home, I help the kid with her remote learning.

    Next I made lunch for the family.

    Then me and a buddy went in my car to pick up our friend who had foot surgery from the hospital and got him home.

    Dealt with crazy drivers on the West Side Highway

    Parked the car, amazingly, right back in the same parking spot on the street, which never happens.

    Did some shopping on the way home.

    And now I am home, and exhausted.

    It almost feels like an old fashioned pre-Covid New York kind of day.