Tag: Football

  • Monty Python’s “The Philosophers’ Football Match”

    Since I have been introducing the kid to Monty Python, I thought now was a good time as any to play my favorite Python sketch. The quality of video isn’t the best, but I think you get the point.

  • Short Story Review: “The Soccer Balls of Mr. Kurz” by Michele Mari (Translated, from the Italian, by Brian Robert Moore.)

    (The short story “The Soccer Balls of Mr. Kurz” by Michele Mari appeared in the May 29th, 2023 issue of The New Yorker.)

    (This story will be SPOILED, so beware!)

    Illustration by Guido Scarabottolo

    The old “losing your ball over the fence” story. It’s nice to know that boys in other countries have this issue as well. Seems like most kids grow up with this situation – the ball goes over the fence, and it is never seen again. Then the imagination takes over allowing wild stories to be created about the owner of the yard, and their dark evil soul, for only the vilest of humans would refuse to return a ball. I would say, “The Sandlot” comes to mind for most people when you talk about this situation. And it is a wonderful premise/structure/metaphor to address youth, nostalgia, coming of age, and a host of other ideas that writers have when they create stories about boys.

    Michele Mari’s story, “The Soccer Balls of Mr. Kurz,” in essence is no different. Here the boys are in a boarding school playing soccer, and one of their goals abuts against a wall that belongs to Mr. Kurz’s backyard. When a soccer ball goes over the wall, Mr. Kurz, though polite about it, does not return the ball. Out of complete frustration, the boys hatch a plan to send one of their own over the wall to retrieve the balls.

    Though a predictable plot, Mari’s story does rise above the cliché. This narrative exists in a world of nostalgia, and I wouldn’t say the narrator is unreliable, but he does take some liberties with the truth, and in a very funny speech given by one of the boys, acknowledges this liberty. What this creates is a very charming world that these boys exist in, where their desire to have a fair and regular soccer match becomes the most important concern in their lives.

    I did have two minor issues with the story. First was the delivery of backstory, especially the rules that govern how the boys acquire new soccer balls. Most of this story, information is given directly to the reader from the narrator, but in this one situation, the boys explain the rules to each other. It felt clunky, and didn’t fit with the overall flow of the story. The second, and this is very nit-picky, is that I don’t know a single European male who speaks English that calls “soccer” soccer; it’s football. In Italy, the term is “calcio” which means “kick.” This makes me believe that this was a translation decision. Soccer is an American used term, and in this setting, it left a taste in my mouth that the story was “Americanized.”

    Now, what drew me in with this story was the well-executed climax. One of the boys does go over the wall late at night/early morning only to discover what Mr. Kurz has been doing to the balls, as well as how he spends his time in that yard. I’m trying to not spoil this, so forgive my vagueness, but when this boy receives a new ball from his father, and does what he does with it, all of the threads of this story are tied nicely together. I appreciated that Mari used that final moment to show this boy’s new understanding of the world. How the boy is essentially still the same, but his viewpoint of the world had expanded. That this boy knows he is now part of a moment in time.

  • A Tottenham Hotspur Blog: Conte Edition

    Welp! It happened. Conte and Tottenham have gone their separate ways. I don’t think anyone is surprised by this. The season was not working out as expected, and when the “most terrible/awfulness week ever” occurred where Spurs got knocked out of the FA Cup, lost in the Premiere League, and then got bounced out of the Champions League, everyone knew Conte was about to lose his job. I think the Conte press conference, the one after the Southampton 3-3 draw, was just Conte acknowledging that he’s about to get fired, so I might as well speak  my mind.

    So, where does this leave Tottenham with ten games left to go in the Premiere League season?

    Currently, Cristian Stellini has been named the interim head coach, which makes sense as he was Conte’s assistant coach at Spurs. Right now, as Tottenham is in fourth place, it would appear that his mission is to keep the team in fourth, which qualifies them for next seasons Champions League, if not move up the table.

    But, with this team, that seems like rather tall order. I don’t think they have a chance in hell of catching Man City, let alone Arsenal. And though Man United is one point ahead of Spurs, and Newcastle is two points behind, both of those clubs have two more games left to play on their schedule as compared to Tottenham. And, Spurs have both of those clubs left on their schedule, which means they are now must wins. In fact, Tottenham cannot afford to come out of any of these ten matches with no points.

    Then there is the biggest issue that is looming over the Summer; Harry Kane. Will he be back? It felt like Conte was brought in specifically to help this team win trophies, which at this point in Kane’s career, that’s the boxes he wants to tick. And I know I have been saying this for the past three seasons, but this Summer just might be the one where Harry goes to another club that is in a better position to win.

    It’s all too bad. I did like Conte. I thought he brought a passion to the club that Tottenham had been missing. But his passion did not translate onto the pitch. Under Conte this season, the team was always slow to start, and got behind early. They never looked like they wanted to win so much as they were trying not to lose.

    So long, Antonio Conte. I appreciated your effort.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Nearly Perfect Bracket, Talkin’ Football, and Kids n’ St. Patrick

    (We are sports heavy this week…)

    I wrote the other day about how my bracket predictions are pretty much shit as they are all guesses and I pick way too many underdogs. Well, yesterday, I called every game, save one. I got Furman v. Virginia wrong. And I blame Princeton for it. That’s right. I had selected Princeton over Arizona, as I have a weakness for the Ivy-League schools. So, because of that pick, I told myself I needed to be a bit realistic with the rest of my selections. Hence why I took Virginia. Besides Princeton, the rest of my underdog picks really weren’t that impressive; Auburn, and Penn State. This is why you should go with your gut. As of this moment, my bracket is ranked 659 out of 14million. I know that will change by the end of today. But right now, in this moment, I am nearly perfect.

    I have a Tottenham Hotspur scarf that I put on when it is cold out. To most people it just looks like a white and navy scarf, but yesterday a guy stopped me, asking if I was a Tottenham fan. I talked to someone on the street about football. Mainly the Champions League, as the guy’s club was Barcelona, but still. This is the first time I have actually talked football with someone when the World Cup wasn’t going on. It made me feel like my fandom was validated.

    Today is St. Patrick’s Day. All week, leading up to this, the kid couldn’t have given two shits about it. In fact, she asked me lots of questions of why the day is celebrated, and if it’s really only a grown-up holiday. I tried to give her a little history lesson on all the Irish who immigrated to this country, and how they have influenced and made our country a better place. You know, because immigrants do make our country better. She got it, but still didn’t think St. Patrick’s Day was that big of a deal. And then this morning, she was all about putting on green, and finding leprechauns, and pots o’ gold. I think this proves, that for kids, you never let a holiday go to waste.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Lit Awards Are RIGGED, Oh Tottenham, and My Nose is Stuffed Up

    (Got to Be Real…)

    This might not come as a shock to you, nor me, and maybe someone out there doesn’t know this, but Lit Awards are Rigged. I know how hard that is the believe, but I read this article by Dan Sinykin which says just that; The Lit Prize World is fixed so that a majority of certain people can win. Sinykin is reporting on the research that Juliana Spahr Stephanie Young, Claire Grossman did on the major lit prize winners, going back to 1918. To quote the article, “They (the authors of the research) found that half of the prize-winners with an MFA “went to just four schools: [University of] Iowa, Columbia, NYU, or UC Irvine.” Iowa has special clout: its alumni “are 49 times more likely to win compared to writers who earned their MFA at any other program since 2000.” Also, “…writers “with an elite degree (Ivy League, Stanford, University of Chicago) are nine times more likely to win than those without one. And more specifically, those who attended Harvard are 17 times more likely to win.” I know, I know – It’s hard to believe that people who go to elite schools keep the majority of prizes, money and contracts within their own group. You should read the article as it goes deeper into a few other aspects, but this pretty much confirmed what I knew when I was 18; if you don’t get into the right school, the likelihood of having a writing career is stacked against you.

    What a shitty week to be a Tottenham fan. Not only did they lose to Arsenal on Sunday, but they had the added fun of going down in flames to Man City on Thursday night. They were up two goals at half, and then the wheels came off the truck at the start of the second, and Spurs just looked out classed. Like they don’t deserve to be in the top four of the Premier League. Ung… At least I have the Cowboys to root for on Sunday.

    I think I have another cold. That two in the span of three months. Yuck…