Tag: #focus

  • Solving the Small Problem First

    It is cold today. Not just the normal cold, but actually 20 degrees. I know things get cold here, but it has been awhile since it has been this cold. I decided that it was too cold for the grocery shopping which I had planned down at the 93rd Trader Joe’s. It’s a just a “stay in” kind of day.

    And as such, I have a free day – sort of – at least, one I wasn’t planning on. I am doing what I normally do, which is starting off with the blog. Next, I will put in some journal time. The last thing for the day will be working on a story.

    This has been my pattern of writing since September when the kid went back to school. I have to say that the results have been mixed. Not bad, but I was expecting that I would have completed more work, and would be in a better position for submitting work. (In four days, One Story Magazine starts taking submissions again, and I plan on sending them something.) I still feel that I need more material in the bank, but I think that is a cop out on my part. Like, I’m already looking for reasons why things haven’t been going my way, thus not my fault.

    I keep saying things haven’t been going my way, because I still take myself out of the game. I’m continuing to have the 2am self-doubt moments. Last night’s was pretty bad, as I started telling myself that I just don’t have the passion to do this. That all my friends who are doing well in their careers are passionate about what they do, and are willing to work hard, and that is way they are successful. While me… I’m too lazy and insecure to even get started, and if I did get started, it would suck, and I would fail.

    It took me a bit to calm myself down. Just to breath, and remind myself that I’m okay. Everything is okay. Everything will be okay. I don’t know how, but it will be. Gotta have faith.

    One of the things I reminded myself of was what I learned in therapy long ago; You can only solve one problem at a time. Instead of trying to solve the biggest one, maybe I should try a small one – a problem that I can have control over. THEN, I should try to solve a problem that’s a little bigger. And so on, and so on until maybe that big problem is a little more manageable.

    One problem at a time.

  • Why I Still Blog, And Thanks Everyone

    I do feel that from time to time, I have to remind myself what it is that I am doing here. Yelling into the void, used to be what came to mind when I would post a blog. Back in July 2020, when I made a choice to focus and work harder on my writing, this blog was a great place to test out those muscles. The dark void faded away, and I started to see that creative endeavors, no matter how large or small, do serve a purpose, sometimes to an affect that doesn’t seem relevant for some time. After having kept this up for nine months, the one thing I can so for certain is that I can now keep my personal deadlines and goals when it comes to writing.

    The other thing I can say is that I now have over 200 followers! Back in July 2020, I had around 60, so gaining 140 followers in nine months, I take as a compliment. I am also sure the majority of these new followers are not Russian bots. Being that this is a blog which, subject wise, is all over the place, and doesn’t seem to be much more than I guy sharing opinions and trying to learn how to write better, I would like to say thank you for taking the time to read.

    Spasiba!

  • Walking

    So… I have been doing the video work out stuff, and I pretty much hate it. I’m doing it, but I hate it. And again, it’s the fake level of excitement of the people in the videos that really bother me. Now, I freely admit that the system works, so it’s just the thing I have to deal with. I hate working out, but I want to lose weight and live for a while.

    I have been following the routine for two weeks. I have also adjusted my diet, and focused on getting 8 hours of sleep, and no more late-night snacking. And the results…

    Nothing…

    I have neither gained or lost weight.

    Last time I did this, back when I was living in New York, I saw results in two weeks. I could clearly tell that positive changes were having an effect. So, why is there no change this time around?

    I thought about this for over the past few days, specifically what are the changes from the last time, to this time?

    And then it hit me.

    I checked the pedometer on my phone…

    In California, I average 500 steps a day.

    In New York, I averaged 8,000 steps a day.

    I have lost the linchpin of my ability to get into shape; having to walk everywhere.

    Looks like I will have to get back to running…