Tag: Fitting In

  • You’re Embarrassing Me!

    My kid finds me embarrassing. This isn’t some shock or revelation, or even a surprise. All kids find their parents embarrassing at some point, right? It just comes with the territory. With my kid starting at a new school, she has found me more embarrassing than usual of late. I am a silly person, I admit that, but I also know that the kid is trying to fit in, and what she wants is for there to be nothing, and I mean NOTHING, to disrupt or rock that boat. I get it, and I have been on my better behavior to just be normal.

    But I would also like to point out that even my “normal” behavior has been deemed embarrassing. So, this appears to be a no-win situation, because as I have mentioned above, all kids find their parent embarrassing.

    In my time, it was my mother who put a “Jesus Loves You” bumper sticker on the back of her poo brown Chevet. I mean, it was bad enough she drove a shit colored Chevet, but reminding everyone that Jesus in fact did love them was a bridge too far for me. It was junior high, and as soon as I got out of that car, all the kids at school would begin to yell at me “Jesus Loves You!” There were a few creative bullies out there who would add “Satan Loves You, Too!”

    But I started thinking this morning, being that I am now on Team Parent, that there is nothing wrong with me, so why should I have to change? If I am being my true authentic self, then there is no reason for me to adjust my behavior. I’m not the problem here. I’m just me and the kid is just going to have to come to terms with that.

    And yet this feels like the wrong attitude to have in this situation…

  • First and Second Day of School

    This academic year, we switched schools that our daughter attends. It wasn’t an easy decision, and there were many family discussions, and up and downs, but we landed on a school we are all happy with. This did cause us to have a short Summer, as her old school got out on the last week of June, and her new school started this middle of August. Again, we had discussed this as a family, and the kid said she was okay with all of it.

    And when the first day rolled around, she was up and ready to go – full of excitement and itching to start the adventure. The new school required a uniform, which she felt was like Harry Potter and Hogwarts. Though she did mention that it was a little sad not to go to school with her old friends, she said she was ready to make new friends. This school was out of the neighborhood, so we had to ride the subway, which was a new adventure. Everything was new and exciting, and we were all ready for it. And it wasn’t surprising that by the time I picked her up from school, the excitement and adrenaline had worn off, and she was tired, and in the end, though she likes school, it was still school.

    Today, was we got up this morning, there was no joy or excitement in getting up to go to school. The newness had worn off in 24 hours, and we returned to the world of her asking, “Why is school so early?” Sprinkle on top of that and nice bit of grumpiness. She did get up and go, and as we got closer to the school, her attitude got better, but she was still closer to grumpy than nice.

    Again, I am not surprised at this reaction. Going someplace new is hard. It’s hard to walk into a room full of people, who all know each other, and fit in. Being new brings up stresses and anxieties in her, and I am powerless to assuage them. I can support and be there and listen, but dropping her off is the first time I really felt powerless in helping her. I’m confident in her to overcome this, and make this school work, to make friends, and thrive in this new environment.

    She’s got this.