Tag: Fail

  • ODDS and ENDS: Getting Started, Oh Tottenham, and Bloody Mary Brunch

    (Forgetting her’s the nature of my flight…)

    Boy, do I suck and starting something new. And I also suck at just getting back to good habits. I say this because I have found a way to completely, and in the most air-tight form of rationalization, not go to the gym for a month. Even this morning, I was ready to not go to the gym, and I made sure that I did not go. Do I feel good about this decision? Absolutely not. Will I go to the gym on Monday? Odds are that I will not. Yes, indeed; I have found a way to squander the entire month of September. To a degree, I have impressed myself. You may think that this is easy to do, but it is not. Okay, okay, okay… Tuesday of next week; I’m going to the gym.

    Wow! Tottenham Hotspur sucks this season. Really sucks. They suck in a way I thought was impossible to suck. There was no way they could get worse than last season. No, no, they found a way. And they spent a shit ton of money, and somehow they suck even more! They are at the bottom. Completely at the bottom of the Premiere League table. Sitting at #20, with two points. Incidentally, their two points is equal to as many goals they have scored this season. Just… wow. Now, as a Cubs fan (and the Cubbies did get eliminated from the playoffs recently) I know what it’s like for your team to be at the bottom. And normally I would say that there is only one direction, and that’s up! But in the Premiere League, there is relegation, so we might not have hit bottom yet.

    Saturday, I have brunch plans, which sounds fancy, and a little pretentious… All of that is true. But it also means morning/day drinking in a very socially acceptable way. Happy weekend to all, and to all a good drunken afternoon nap.

  • DIY Home Remolding Videos

    I used to watch HGTV for all the remolding shows. I will stress the word “used to” because after a few weeks, I noticed that all the shows were the same in their structure, and they didn’t show you how to improve anything in your home. Such as every HGTV show had the same reality tv plot wherein half way through the show, the hosts discovered some huge “whatever” that would cost way more money to fix, and then they had to call the client and get their reaction, and decide what to do next. But no matter what the issue was, it all worked out, and Joanna put a huge “LIVE, LAUGH, LOVE” sign up on the wall. Oh, and they only thing I learned about fixing my home was to hire a good contractor.

    All of this has now lead me to watching YouTube videos. At first, I was looking for clips that would help me patch a hole in the wall, or install trim, or build a built-in. But, the Algorithm caught on to me, and started pushing all these renovation videos on me. Like, “we bought a school building in the country and turned into our dream house” type videos. Or “I bought a row house in Boston, and am fixing it up with my girlfriend and our dog.”

    I won’t lie, late at night, these videos suck me in. Not so much the people, or their story, or how they did it all (though I wish they would go into more of those details), but I get sucked into their home renovation ideas, and I try to figure out if that would work in my apartment. See, I have a mudroom area, and a place for a built-in buffet/bookshelf but I can’t figure out how to make it work…

    As I have watched more and more of these renovation videos, I have started to notice, especially the ones that are a long series, that they all kind’a do the same thing. They all have a time-lapse video of their demo, or a time-lapse of the contractors doing something, with a jangly guitar underscoring it. Or, they do this confessional thing where the “admit” that they might have bit off more than they can chew, and the whole project might fail.

    But it never does.

    They always figure out a solution, or they pay more money to the contractor who figures out a solution. Yeah, it’s all rather cliché.

    Or to put it another way…

    Once, you know, I’d like to see someone just throw in the towel; They can’t do it, it’s just too expensive, or they settle. Sure, that wouldn’t be a very interesting video, but it sure would be a cautionary tale for all of those middle-aged guys out there, that have no experience at home improvement, but think they can do it because they watched a video at 1am.