Tag: #Dogs

  • ODDS and ENDS: The Dog Groomer, Fart in French, and Ice Cream

    (We’re all excited, but we don’t know why…)

    I love my dog. I always thought of myself as a cat person, but once we got the dog… well, I’m still a cat guy, but I do want to have a dog from here on out. And loving my dog, means loving all of her, including the bad stuff that she does. Which is very little, I might add. What the dog does that drives us nuts, and we haven’t been able to get her to stop, is that the dog goes ape-shit anytime she sees another dog. Like growling, and barking, and trying to break free from the leash so she can go and kill that other dog. It can make taking her for a walk a very challenging endeavor. Anyway, so when we take the dog to the groomers, the dog does her normal stuff when she sees the other dogs getting groomed, she goes bananas. So, we leave her, and when we come back to the groomers, they tell us how great of a dog she was; so kind, nice, and friendly. And we’ll ask if our dog was this nice version, even when other dogs were around, and the groomers tells us yes; that our dog was even friendly to the other dogs. This has happened enough times over the past five years, that I have come down to one of two conclusions; the groomers are telling us lies because no one wants to hear that their dog is an asshole, or our dog puts on this tough act in front of other dogs only when we’re around.

    My mother was a very proper woman. You had to really make her mad to swear, and she did embarrass easy. Yet, she raised three boys, and there was a lot of farting. BUT, my mother never said the word fart. No, that would be most improper. As she was raised in a French-American home, she did bring one, and only one, French term into our lives; péter. (That’s French for fart.) For the first several years of my life, I thought everyone also used the word péter. When I got to school, I learned quickly that no one used this word. Yet, the tern stuck with me, and in honor of my French heritage, I have made sure that my daughter knows that péter means fart in French.

    And, I want ice cream for dinner.

  • My Dog

    People love animals, especially dogs. If you have spent all of three seconds on my blog, you’ve seen my picture with our dog. She’s a mix, small, smells bad, has bad teeth, hates every other dog on the planet, but is wonderful with people. We joke that our dog won the Doggie Lottery, as she got a family that totally lets her be herself, and is even rewarded for it. Our dog doesn’t do shit, other than shit, pee, eat, sleep, occasionally play, and sleeps some more. And she’s wonderful and we love her.

    I bet if you have a dog, no matter how odd or awful that dog is, you’re going to tell me that dog is wonderful, awesome, and you love them unconditionally. AS YOU SHOULD! Dogs are great, and we are so lucky to have them in our lives. And if you haven’t seen it:

    And I bet you know where this is going. But I’m not here to beat up on a Governor who thought a story about shooting a fourteen-month old dog was a good one, and needed it to be included in her book.

    No, this is more about how Cricket did one thing that no politician, or leader, could do in this country. Cricket united us. On both sides of the isle, we all came together to say that killing a dog, an adolescent dog, for the crime of being “untrainable,” is wrong. Our dogs share their lives with us, are there for us when we need them, they give so much love, and can help us in many different ways.

    Rest in Power, Cricket. In your very short life, you proved that there are still issue that we all can get behind.

    This is my dog, and if you met her, she would love you.

  • Our Dog

    My dog smells awful. Even when we bathe her, we only get 48 hours, tops, of the dog not smelling. Then like some sort of magic, the dog begins to take on an odor. Within seven days after the bath, the dog is back to being the little gray bag of stinkiness.

    And we love her.

    She’s great with people and kids, but she cannot be around other dogs because she wants to rip their faces off. Sure, you could say it’s a little dog thing, but when we our neighbor watches the dog and walks her, the dog is just a pure, wonderful angel from heaven. The neighbor won’t say it, but the issue is us. If the dog is only aggressive when she is around us, then we must be the cause. It’s beyond annoying because she’s such a good dog with people…

    But we love the dog.

    The dog is sleeping at the end of the bed as I write this. Every now and then, she’ll open an eye and look at me, only to go back to sleep. Most days, the dog is with my wife, under her feet and desk. The dog has imprinted on my wife, clearly thinks she’s the Alpha around here, not that I would completely disagree with that. So, when the dog follows me around, either the wife is gone, or… Actually, I’m not sure why the dog is with me today. Perhaps that dog wanted to sleep on the bed, and I just happen to be here.

    I’ll take what I can get.

  • ODDS and ENDS: Old Debates, It’s Okay to Not Have Kids, and Dog Shit

    (Fries are done…)

    I have been blessed, or cursed, depending on how you look at it, with the ability to stay up very late at night, and still wake up early. Though I may need a nap in the middle of the day, it’s given me one true positive advantage; I get to watch lots of useless things. Lately, I have started watching old episodes of Siskle & Ebert. The original purpose of watching was to remind myself of good movies that I had forgotten about. But as I watched these shows, I noticed something about how Gene and Roger argued. My memory was that there were passionate about their opinions and were willing to really get in there and fight for what they believed, even to the point of personally insulting the other. Yet, when I rewatched, I was struck by how they were very respectful in their arguing. And often, they looked amused when they argued. It wasn’t at all the cat and dog fights that I remembered. In one sense, I could just chalk this up to a faulty memory and a little Mandela effect. Or, maybe, televised arguing has become more brutal and bare knuckled over the past thirty years. I can’t believe I’m saying this, but maybe people were nicer and more respectful in the past.

    Yesterday, I read about Seth Rogen and his thoughts on being married and not having kids. (Good for BuzzFeed, still staying relevant. That’s where I read it.) He made is case of what is right for him and his wife, and he did a good job of articulating his thoughts on the issue. I got a lot of married friends that don’t have kids, and I have a lot of unmarried friends that have kids. And I know some people who have kids and wish they didn’t. Look, I’m married and have a kid and I love it. I also love having one kid, and want it to stay that way. That’s what’s right for the wife and I, and we’re very happy. And no one questions our decision. Our decision gets respected, and it ceases to be an issue. I just think that courtesy should be extended to everyone, regardless of what their reason is for having or not having kids.

    But if you’re not willing to pick up your dog’s shit, then you shouldn’t have a dog. Seriously, turds are part of the deal. So, stop being a tourist and take some responsibility.

  • Socializing the Dog

    This is our family dog, Hattie.

    She looks like a puppy, but she isn’t. She’s a rescue from a puppy-mill, and she already had at least one litter by the time we adopted, and got her fixed. She is a smaller dog, which works great with our tiny Manhattan apartment. She likes to nap, as she will do with anyone who sits on the couch long enough. She’s playful, sweet with kids, and if you are a man, she is a huge flirt. She’s so friendly, that if were to get mugged while walking her, she most likely would roll over and show her belly to the mugger.

    That’s our dog.

    Oh, and our dog is a complete terror whenever she gets near another dog. I’m talking about growling, and barking, and jumping, and pulling at her leash. She’s gotten worked up to the point that she’s even bitten my hand when I tried to calm her down. Her behavior around other dogs is so bad, that on walks, other people with dogs know who she is, and they try to avoid her.

    It’s really annoying, and potentially a huge problem if she bites another dog, which makes it all the more frustrating because of how sweet she is with people and kids.

    The odd thing is that when we take her to the groomers and vet, which we warn them about her behavior, they always tell us how sweet she is with them and other dogs… when we’re not around. It’s a fabulous backhanded compliment as the implication is that WE are the problem, not her.

    The only explanation for her behavior I have received is that she is being protective of us, possible due to some abuse or situation from her past. That in Hattie’s mind, she is only doing her job of keeping us safe. I want to believe that’s true, as that sounds really nice, and explains why she’s cool when we aren’t around. Either way, this behavior cannot continue, as we would like to kid to start taking Hattie for walks, but we can’t do that if her behavior is so unpredictable.

    This summer, the kid and I decided that we would try and socialize Hattie by taking her to our local dog run in the park, which has a small pen next to the main fenced area. My thought here was that we would take her to the small pen each day for 15 to 30 minutes, so Hattie could get used to being near other dogs, and hopefully see that there is no threat. I don’t know if this is a good idea, as I just made it up, and isn’t some advice I received from an expert. So success is not guaranteed.

    We have been doing this dog run thing for two weeks now, and we’ll be doing it today. As of this moment, we have not seen any improvement. Hattie goes up to the fence, and other dogs come over. It looks like it will be a big sniff fest, but then Hattie goes nuts and starts barking. The other dogs walk away, leaving Hattie barking, alone at the fence. I am sure this behavior will repeat today.

    Sadly, the thought has already crossed my mind, which is “How long do I have to keep doing this?” At what point should I expect results, and at what point is it apparent that positive results will not be forthcoming?

    I know that the answer is a shrug and a smile. Only time will tell.

    (And… don’t forget to kick a like, or a share my way. A comment would be cool, too.)